I am just different

Why nobody does accepts the fact that there can be a girl who doesn’t believe in love. Well there can be one and that’s me.


25. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending...

My hands were shaking as I dialed his number. Every part of my head was saying I should stop; there is no need to do this... but somewhere deep down, away from even my comprehension, there was a voice that was compelling me.

It was so unlike ME.

With every ring that went; my heart skipped a beat. What if he picks up, what if he answers the call... what in the world will I say then?!

The questions swirled in my brain but I needed to focus, I needed to calm down. Taking a breath in I closed my eyes, remembering the good times, with mum, Sam, Rachel... Him. My eyes shot open as his pained, puzzled face flashed in front of my eyes. It was of the last time I saw him, just before I turned my back on him, and he looked like struggling something inside. Ignoring where my mind was taking me I looked at the phone-screen and frowned. The call ended. And he didn't pick up.

Frantically I dialed again, one ring, two ring... but he didn't pick up, and now I was worried. What if something happened to him? God, I'll never be able to forgive myself... ever. I tried again. It was on the third ring that someone picked it up and I shot up from the bed. For a moment, I kept quiet; I had no idea know what to say actually... but then gave in. "Hello," No reply... "Hello," My voice was a whisper, "Are you there.."


"If you are there, answer me," I must have sounded desperate cause to tell you the truth, I know WAS, "Please... Troy." That was when I heard someone's breath on the other side. Didn't know why but it just felt like him and something... ached. I needed to hear his voice, just once. "I know you are there you idiot, talk to me!!"

And then came a growl, "Why?!!"

Glaaaaad to know I still make him angry... Tangling my fingers in my hair, a smile plastered on my face, thanking God. Uh, so he is fine....

"Why should I... and why the hell have you even called?!" I was a bit taken aback. I didn't expect him to be so angry, I could even hear the clinching of his teeth. His question got me so unprepared that without even thinking twice, I cut the line. My eyes closed and I fell back on the bed. His voice seemed like coming from far away and I had this urge to ask where is he, but couldn't. I didn't realize but my breathing had paced now...

Troy's POV

So long since I've been here.

And the smell has now tainted...

Unchanged curtains still hung, bringing back the memories I blocked years ago. Closed window panels, huh, still closed....

Eleven years, eleven years of my fucking life I spent within these walls and what did I get... pain, deception... abandonment... and then some more pain. Leaving the footprints on dusty ground, I moved to open those windows. No way I'm gonna let it block anymore rays, but suddenly came to a halt. Not even one hand away was that door... still standing, dark as ever. For a second, the thought of entering the prohibited rushed bloods in my vein, but then... I couldn't dare. Pushing myself back, I turned around and with one long stride, I was far away from the clutches of the past.

The place I once called home. Why was I here, in this town of busy people... I don't know, I just knew I needed to be here. Something inside said it's time... and I listened. Inhaling the New York chillness, I put my head on the window pane and my mind sped up.

What is this, this feeling that has forced me to come to a place I once promised to never even smell again. I didn't want to come here, but then where else would have I gone. If the darkness started from here, here is where I'll find the light...

For the very first time in my life, I was feeling guilty; I figured that shit a while ago but that was not it. Why would I be this restless just coz I'm feeling fucking guilty... or maybe this is it, maybe I AM restless coz I'm feeling guilty. But whatever the crap it is, it's eating me from inside. If I would have been anything like other boys, I would have forgotten everything, rather enjoyed what happened and moved on with my life. But me being ME, I just had to justify each of my moves.

But not every time we get that justification.

Steps taken in the flow of these damned emotions, sometimes lead you to places where every finger is raised towards you. I shouldn't have done it, what was I thinking... oh wait, not 'I' did it. I stopped, I DID stop...

But that bitch just doesn't listen to me.

How the hell'd we wind up like this? Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed And try an' turn the tables?

My phone blared but I didn't pay a heed. It must be my Dad shouting...

Someday, somehow Gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow Gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when?

It kept ringing and irritating me. Bringing it out of my pocket, I flipped it open. I was about to cut the line when saw the caller Id and the moment paused..

Well I'd hoped that since we're here anyway We could end up saying Things we've always needed to say So we could end up stringing..

Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Let's rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong Just as long as you know that someday I will..

"And why are YOU calling.." My tired voiced echoed in the empty house. The ringing stopped after a while and I placed the cell next to me. She didn't want to see my face, so probably she wouldn't even want to hear my voice... right? Of course right!!

How the hell'd we wind up like this? Why weren't we able, To see the signs that we missed.. And try an' turn the tables?....

It again started buzzing and my fist clenched, "Stop it!!" I shouted, and just wished she would listen somehow and stop, coz this was difficult. And suddenly it DID stop.

For a moment I watched the phone, surprised and right then it buzzed, again. Huffing angrily, I stared at the name appearing on the screen. The question mark slowly started fading and everything felt like quietening...

Giving up, I picked up the phone but couldn't bring myself to speak.

"Hello.... Hello, are you there," All the possibilities that it might be Sam broke... so it really was her highness.

"If you are there, answer me," She seemed almost worried, and I couldn't help but scoff, "Please.... Troy." Troy.. I breathed heavily, why can't I just win for once...

"I know you are there you idiot, talk to me," And here goes her ego.

"Why?!!" Clenching my teeth, I tried my best not to shout at her, "Why should I... and why the hell have you even called?" But failed I guess, coz for a moment.. she went quiet.

Did I scared her... awesome!!

Before I could say anything else, much to my surprise she disconnected the call, "What the...!!" I threw my cell in frustration and got off the shelf. I really need to figure some things out...

Nil's POV

Last night is gone and here comes the new day...

Sliding down the rail, I was thinking of what to give Rachel on her coming birthday when bumped into Sam, who... was putting the milk in the bowl that I didn't see, and thanks to me, it spilt all over him. As expected from the donkey, he started jumping up and down and I couldn't control my giggles. Giving me a hard glare, he pushed me aside and went upstairs to change. Today was the day Sam was going to join the school again.. and I was happy, but weird thing was Rachel seemed happier. I already have got four calls from her since morning. What is going on between them?!

Actually none of my business, but as he is my bro and she is my best friend, I just... HAVE to. Much, god has burned me with this so many responsibilities.

Anyway, hmm... o_o will have to keep an eye on them. After changing into a green shirt and black blazer, he came back down and we started our breakfast. For some reason even the boring cereal felt delicious to me that day. What's going on, am I going to die?! Nah, not before making some more boy's life hell... I smiled proudly and went back to eating.

Chatting about some here and there things, I many times tried to come to 'THE' topic of the day but every time he proficiently ignored.

"Not for long bro... not for long," I thought and grabbed my backpack, "Oh, by the way, I called him yesterday and..."

"Called who?!"


"Him who?!"

"Troy... Jesus, you are losing your brain again, Sam." I bleated, getting up, "Oh wait, you never had one, hehe," and ran out of the door. I've done it far enough times in past few weeks; let HIM lock the whole house this time. Believe me it takes a hell lotta time...

Setting the bag on my shoulder, I started walking towards the bus stop when suddenly a yellow car came rushing and stopped right beside me. A bit taken aback, I turned around to find Rachel smiling the broadest of it all, "Surprise, surprise... surprise!!"

"And here comes the SUNSHINE." I blurted watching that whole... small shiny thing, "But why yellow, yellow... dirty fellow." "Oh shut up and get in already." She shouted, revving up the engine and I mocked, "Okayyyyyy, let's get in."

"Hey..." I spoke up as soon as she started driving, "Since you name whatever you own, even your socks which is funny..." I was about to laugh when she turned to look at me, "or maybe not, I have a great name for... this car, wanna know?!"

"Actually... I'll pass."

"No, no, no. I can't let it go waste, it's a gem."

"No Nil, you always say I shouldn't name everything... so this time, maybe I will listen to you." "Okay, start paying attention to what I say from the next time... not now." I said rubbing my cold hands. "Now this should be named... sunny, what's say?!" I was hoping she'll start screaming cause I was truly making fun of her brand new, advance birthday gift but surprisingly, she didn't say anything.

"So... howz it?!" "Actually..." Looking at me she said, "Not bad Nil... Fine, I'll call it sunny."

"What..." My eyes widened, "NO!! I was just kidding, you can't name this car Rachel. I swear to God I'll jump out if you even name this car." "I'm not gonna name this car, you will, actually you already have... remember, sunny." She blinked her eyes at me, "And go ahead, be my guest." Already irritated, I pushed her a little, "Whatever... and no thanks, am not in the mood right now!!"

"Uh-huh... that I am seeing." She said with a hint of playfulness on her face. "What do you mean?!" "I mean what I mean." Her lips stretched and left me shouting, "WHAT?!" "That," She pointed towards my face and I hesitantly started brushing here and there, "Something on my face?!" When she grabbed my fingers and put it on both the corners of my lips, "That..."

Realizing what she referring to, it even grew bigger, "Shut up... and why, I can't even smile now?!"

"No, of course you can but it's just that it was gone for the past few weeks, what suddenly happened now?!" She said and started giggling. Ignoring her idiocy, I turned the radio on.

"Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel This luv is difficult, but it's real Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess It's a love story baby just say yes-"

"Aww.... Perfect." Her eyes twinkled and made me frown, "You should have said what a crap!!" I retorted and changed the station.

"Your so supersonic Wanna feel your powers Stun me with your lasers Your kiss is cosmic Every move is magic,"

"Wha?!-" Listening to the word kiss suddenly made me go nervous and quickly I changed the station. I wanted to get away from all of it but something just kept reminding me..

"Time slows down whenever you're around But can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed me Fell in love when I saw you standing there-"

"Something is wrong with this freaking taylor girl," I slapped the radio hard. "No, something is wrong with you," Sarah, who was quietly watching till now said irritated, "These are nice songs, you are just overreacting,"

"They don't know how long it takes Waiting for a love like this Every time we say goodbye I wish we had one more kiss I'll wait for you I promise you, I will,"

"Jesus," I peeved, and was about to finally turn it off when she shouted, "If you turn THIS off, I swear to God I'll kill you."

"Ohhkay mother... relax." I took my hand back, "Unbelievable," and leaned back in my seat, listening to the soothing melody of the song. Wind blew against my hair as the car gained momentum and I just started to enjoy the ride when suddenly it came to halt. Looking at Rachel with question, I noticed her motioning behind me. A sigh came out as I found that we were already in front of our school building. After parking the car, as soon as we came out someone jumped on us from behind.

"Aaao..." Rachel screamed and I flung my bag on Sam when saw him grinning behind us. In response, he messed up my hair and I was about to hit him back when suddenly he started grinning, "Uh-huh... yellow, yellow... dirty fellow." He commented seeing the new car and Rachel shot a glare at him, and then at me, "You two... you are... uh, forget it!"

"Now what have I done," I whined pushing him away, "He's the one who's making fun of you."

"Yeah, yeah." She huffed, "And by the way Sam, I LOVE yellow AND... it's Pontiac Solstice okay, so pay due respect." She said in full attitude when "a.k.a... Sunny," come out of my mouth and both of us burst into laughter. "Seriously?!" He asked between his laughter and I couldn't help but nod.

"Hah, yeah, and do you know who suggested that name, your stupid sister... ugh." Watching us laughing, she got furious. Stomping her feet, she turned to go away but I quickly grabbed her shoulders, "Calm down, we are just kidding."

"Yeah but I am not. Seriously, whom did you steal it from?!" He butted in, "A kid... coz to tell you the truth, it looks like a freaking toy," and that sent Rachel directly to the red zone. He was watching her amused as she turned red but I knew she was going to lose it any minute so interrupted, "Enough Sam, it's not that bad. Now let's go." I said pulling her and we started walking towards the stairs, "Who does he think he is... Brad Pitt?!"

"No, my brother. Now calm down," I said tying my hair. "He was just kidding, and oh I totally forgot to ask," I turned to face her, "When is our..." and found her staring towards the playground, "What happened now.." I followed her gaze to see what she was looking at and what came in my view suddenly sucked the smile away from my face. My heart felt like sinking, it was like I even forgot to breathe.

Troy... He was back!!

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