Going back

A time-traveler goes back in time for the sole purpose of finding a soloution to a very personal problem.


3. Make that call

''Good morning, Riley Time therapy where all your past dreams come true, Joanna speaking'' said the alarmingly cheery voice on the end of the call. ''Yea, hello luv, my name's Michael and I just heard your advert on the radio. Can I just ask what it is you do there and how you guys can help me with my problem?''  The voice seemed even more exitcited. Even more faux-friendly. ''Well what we do here Michael, is offer you the chance to get away from life's woes by taking you back to when things seemed, shall we say, simpler.'' came the scripted reply. Even though I had given her my name, it still didn't give her a right to use it as if herself and I were bossum buddies.. Whatever happened to being called sir. ''Take me back? How can you take me back?'' I laughed. '' It's not like you have a Time machine there do ya, unless of course they've invented one by now and it slipped me by'' I joked. ''Well no of course not, not like in the movies. What we offer here at the Riley Time Therapy Center is a highly succesful form of mental therapy. Along with your package, you will also recieve.....'' Do me a favour and cut to the chase luv'' I interupted, '' I'm calling you from a phone box that stinks of piss and my money's running out. Are you basically selling me another version of hypno-therapy mind regression Derren Brown bullshit''? Undettered by my blatant rudensss, she continued to explain. ''No Michael. It is similiar to mind regression but a lot more advanced. Our highly sought after patented technology involves something we like to call Time-Mind Regression, perhaps you have heard of our research?''. No, I thought. '' What the fuck is that!?''  ''It basiclly means, using our latest pods, we can take you back to any point in time in your life, anytime you choose as long as it's in your life time'' replied the operator. ''I thought you said it wasn't a time machine for goodnesss sake, make up your mind will ya!'' I said angrily as I put the last 20 pence in to the phone box. ''Get to the point woman!''. ''There really is no need to talk like that sir. What I was trying to say is that it differs from a time machine in the sense that your physical body dosen't actually go back in time, your mind does''. Strange how she calls me sir when she's getting wound up I thought. Perhaps I should just be rude more often with people. That way of being seems to demand a strange sense of respect. How many times do you see the real arseholes at work get away with murder and then prance around as though they were untouchable. Strange indeed. ''What exactly do you mean when you say mind?''

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