Blood on the Dance Floor fan-fiction

En lille fan-fiction skrevet ud fra en drøm jeg havde for et års tid siden.
Laura er en pige omkring de 16-17 år som får muligheden for at møde sine største idoler, men der var dog en pris at betale. Laura er biseksuel og dater en pige ved navn Andy. De deler mange interesser, bland andet yndlingsbandet Blood on the Dance Floor. Da Andy bliver syg med lungekræft gør Laura hvad hun kan for at få bandet til Danmark.


7. In the darkness there is also light

“What the hell was she thinking?! Why didn’t she tell me about it?” Jayy said eyes full of tears.

“I guess school is bad? Maybe that’s the reason… Or maybe she just won’t get over Andie,” Dahvie tried to explain. “Why didn’t she tell me? I could have helped her! I wanted to help her!” Jayy said exasperated. It was quiet in the room for a while and someone was walking back and forth. I couldn’t see anything but I could hear. Then the footing stopped. “And I only went on that date to find out whether I was gay or not… Because I wanted to know if my feelings towards her were real,” Jayy mumbled. Then everything got quiet again…

My stomach rumbled and my eyes hurt as I tried to open them. Someone held my hand. The persons hand was very soft and warm. I tried to squeeze it but my hand would only move a little…

“SHE’S AWAKE! Dahvie she’s awake!” a guy screamed. Then I heard footsteps and another person stood over me. He made it easier to open my eyes and I saw just a fragment of Dahvie’s face. “Dear Lord! Thank goodness! What the hell were you thinking?” Dahvie said. I tried to smile but my lips were dry and they nearly ripped but Dahvie’s expression changed: “no! Don’t smile; you’ll only lose more blood! And it was hard enough to find to cover half of what you lost. You know you have very special blood type right?” he said and smiled. Then Jayy’s face came up to my view and his eyes looked red. He stroked my hair as he spoke: “you know how worried we’ve been? And now I have to tell your mom that I can’t take care of you. I wouldn’t blame her if she were to take you home,” he said and his eyes got sad. I shook my head; I didn’t want to go home. My mum didn’t have to know about this and if she had I should be the one to tell her. I was the one to tell the truth. “You need to let her rest Jayy, she looks tired. Shouldn’t the nurse be here by now to give her more blood?” Dahvie said and looked nervous. But just as he finished a beautiful woman came in and suddenly I felt frightened. She was going to take out the drop in my hand and put in a new one. I felt nauseated and my head spun just by the thought of it – I hate needles! “Don’t look at it sweetie, look at me,” Jayy’s soft voice said and I looked him directly in the eye as I felt the needle leaving my hand and another one prickling through my skin. Tears filled my eyes but who was I to cry? I could cut myself with a scissor but I couldn’t stand a needle; how ridiculous. I stared directly into Jayy’s eyes as my vision failed and I slid down into the familiar darkness. But I thought I saw some kind of affection in his eyes.

I woke up again and I didn’t feel the same hunger as before. The room was empty and my eyes hurt. I sat up in the bed; which was hard since my back hurt too. All this being sick and stuff just got old. Where was Jayy and Dahvie? I wanted to get out of bed and walk around but I realized that I was pretty tied up with hospital cords and was unable to walk by myself. The door opened and Jayy came in with a smile. “Hello beautiful! How are you feeling?” I smiled back and wanted to say something when Jayy’s phone rang. “Jayy speaking… Yeah… Uhm she just woke up… Yeah she looks fine…” he said with serious eyes. Immediately I knew it was my mum. I reached out a hand and smiled at him, trying to tell him to give me the cell. He said something about me wanting to talk with her. I made a sign for him to get out. Then I lifted the phone to my ear. “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! DID YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY AT ALL?! I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE LET YOU TRAVEL WITH THEM, IT WAS BOUND TO END BADLY!...” my mum kept screaming in the phone. “Mum…” was all I managed to whisper. Immediately my mum shut her mouth and I began crying as I told her everything. Even the part with Jayy. She just listened all the time as I sobbed through the story. When I was finished she told me to come back home, but I refused. I was just about to make friends and I really wanted as much time as possible with Jayy and Dahvie. Finally she agreed to let me stay but if ANYTHING was to go wrong I had to get home. I hung up and lied down and clutched the phone in my hand – it smelled like Jayy. A minute before I fell asleep I promised myself to forget all about my feelings towards him.

When I woke up I was in Jayy’s bed. I sniffed in the lovely smell of him and flinched as something touched my cheek. It was a soft stroke. A humming began near my ear and I felt a hot body in front of me. “Why would you do something like that? Why would you ever consider hurting yourself? I tried to reach you but you hid from everything. How can I help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?” he asked with his funny voice, though he didn’t ask anyone in particular. My heart began beating though I told myself not to care. I had promised myself to get over him. I began moving and opened my eyes. I stared directly into a pair of brown beautiful eyes. They smiled at me though I could see a question marked behind the happiness. “Uh she’s awake. How are you feeling?” he said. I shrugged and wondered how I got home. I guess that didn’t matter much. “You wanna know what happened?” I asked. He nodded. It felt like we were a couple when we were this close to each other and I was lying telling him – almost every reason – why I began cutting. He listened closely and as soon as I was done he embraced me and held me close for a long moment. My heart began pounding hard and I was afraid he would hear. I fought as hard as possible to stop my heart and close my feelings but they wouldn’t. Tears began streaming down my cheeks. I sobbed while Jayy kept holding me tight. “Everything’s gonna be alright sweetie! Listen: tonight we are going to have a great dinner. I’ll take you to my parents and my mom will cook a delicious meal. And tomorrow I’ll talk with your principal and I’ll talk with your class. And if that doesn’t help I’m gonna find you a new school,” he said firmly like he thought I would be arguing. I smiled and asked him to release me because I wanted to take a shower. I washed everything out and went out to get dressed. I chose a black Monroe styled dress with red hearts. I matched it with latex red heals and a red lipstick. When I came out Jayy was standing in a pair of black skinny fit jeans and a green studded belt. He stood bare-chested and was trying to choose a shirt. He had a tattoo on the top of his chest saying live. Suddenly I realized I was going to faint if I didn’t start breathing soon. I swallowed and cleared my throat. “Oh you’re ready, that’s more than I can say… WOW! Oh dear Lord you look B-E-A-utiful!”Jayy said with a stunned expression when he saw me. I smiled and picked a black “Iggy Boo” t-shirt for him to wear.

“You seem to like these shirts?” he asked me with a funny expression. I nodded. I totally loved their “Iggy Boo” and “Icky Boo ” shirts. It was a lovely evening. Jayy’s parents were great and you could tell that they adored their son. His mom was really cool; she was a piercer and told me that I would look great with snakebite and I really wanted it but something stopped me. Jayy’s dad was also bisexual and a stylist (you could totally tell who Jayy got his fashion sense from). He was really funny and charming – just like his son. It was quite a long time ago since I had this much fun. When I went to bed that night I felt hope and some part of me felt that happiness wasn’t far away.

Jayy came into my room and touched my cheek. I didn’t open my eyes; I just welcomed him into my bed. He touched me gently and kissed me softly. But then he stopped and clutched me close to him and whispered in my ear that he loved me. I replied that I loved him too and then he kissed me…

My alarm rang and I threw my arm across the bed to shut it when someone yelled: “OUCH!”

I sat straight up and saw that Jayy was lying right next to me looking quite tired. I apologized and we got up and went for school. I got pretty nervous when we reached school but nobody noticed me; everyone stared at Jayy. Some really hot girls came over and tried to flirt but without luck. He went directly for the principal’s office and began discussing. For a long time I just sat in the waiting room while Jayy explained what I had told him yesterday. Then someone sat down beside me. “Hey Laura, why haven’t you been at school? The club got pretty angry at you. By the way, I haven’t really told you my name yet… I’m Christopher,” the red-haired boy said. “Oh uhm… I have been on the hospital… and uhm… thanks for letting me know,” I said and smiled shyly. He just nodded and left. I figured I had to tell the whole class what I had been through. Then Jayy came out with a victorious smile and told me to get in. The principal asked me who had been harassing me and told me they would be expelled. He didn’t tolerate racism at his school and this had to be stopped. I smiled and told him who it had been. Now was the time for me to tell my class everything. Jayy and the principal followed me to class. When we got in I told my story. I showed them the bondage the hospital had given me to prevent anything like that happening again. Some in the class began laughing when I was done but then the principal came forth and asked a few students to follow him to his office. Then the room got quiet. Jayy stayed with me the whole day. “You coming to the club today Laura?” Chris (that’s what I decided to call him) asked. I nodded and Jayy looked curiously at me. Wait and see I thought. When I got to the club the guys were looking pretty gloomy at me. Leila raised and came towards me with eyes that seemed like they could kill. “And where EXACTLY have you been?” she said with a poisonous voice and continued: “in this club we take it seriously! We are trying to reach sectionals but we can’t practice with one missing link!” Jayy got all red in the face and was about to explode when Chris went in front of us and explained my situation. Leila just snorted but she stopped yelling. We took turns to sing a song we liked and when it was my turn I picked a song I had had in my head for weeks. Again I sang without music but that was because this song was originally a poem we had learned about in English class back in Denmark. The poem goes like this:

I'm forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air, they fly so high, nearly reach the sky, then like my dreams they fade and die. Fortune's always hiding, I've looked everywhere, I'm forever blowing bubbles, Pretty bubbles in the air.

I'm dreaming dreams, I'm scheming schemes, I'm building castles high. They're born anew; their days are few, just like a sweet butterfly. And as the daylight is dawning, they come again in the morning!

I'm forever blowing bubbles, Pretty bubbles in the air, they fly so high, nearly reach the sky, then like my dreams they fade and die. Fortune's always hiding, I've looked everywhere, I'm forever blowing bubbles, Pretty bubbles in the air.

When shadows creep, when I'm asleep, to lands of hope I stray! Then at daybreak, when I awake, my bluebird flutters away. Happiness, you seem so near me, Happiness, come forth and cheer me!

I'm forever blowing bubbles, Pretty bubbles in the air, they fly so high, nearly reach the sky, then like my dreams they fade and die. Fortune's always hiding, I've looked everywhere, I'm forever blowing bubbles, Pretty bubbles in the air.

When I was done everybody just stared at me and then one of the girls got to her feed and began applause. “Where did you hear that song? It describes how I feel sometimes! It’s awesome,” she said. She was actually kind of nice; a small, medium sized brunette with one blonde highlight in her bang. I told her about the poem when Jayy came over. Suddenly she froze and then she turned around to face him. “Excuse me but are you Laura’s boyfriend? If not would you mind dating me?” she said and chuckled nervously. He smiled at her and told her that he was taken. Her eyes went down but then she looked up and smiled. I could totally get friends with her! Then the guys wanted the hot Jayy Von Monroe to sing but he refused to do it without me; I would be standup for Dahvie. We sang What Dreams Are Made Of and the guys loved it.

After that we invited the cute girl to come with us home – or I did. Her name was Tracy and she was extremely fun. We decided on the way home to give her hair a new color. I decided a pink color for her and she chose yellow and purple highlights. This was going to be awesome. When we got home and began coloring her hair Jayy watched us and corrected us all the time. You could tell that Tracy adored Jayy and he seemed a bit too pleased with her company to my liking. We had too much fun. She cracked me up all the time and she was just as weird as me. We went out eating and I could tell that Dahvie loved her too. We spent many days together that week and sometimes Chris was with us. A few weeks went and I felt better and better. Finally I could get rid for the ugly bandage and I only had small scars on the arm. Tracy went with me to the guys’ concerts and everything was peace and happiness – though my feelings for Jayy stayed the same even though I tried to forget about them. We always had these incidents that made my heart race like when I once – accidently – went out to the toilet when Jayy was showering, or the nights he sleep-walked into my room and began kissing me. Then there were the dreams. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t forget about him. It had almost been three months since I had left Denmark and I missed my family from time to time but I called my mum and wrote with her over Facebook which made it bearable. My friendship with Tracy and Chris got better and better. No one dared harassing me anymore since Alex and Brooke got expelled. Then one day Jayy had a date which was pretty annoying but this time I didn’t try to kill myself. But the thought made me remember Andie. She stopped visiting me in my dreams and now that I didn’t cut I didn’t see her illusion. That night I decided I would spend alone. I had made a nice little shrine in my room for her and I made a little prayer. After that I watched some Animé on Jayy’s flat screen while I ate chocolate ice cream. It got pretty late and I nearly fell asleep when I suddenly felt a lust for a bath. I putted my favorite lavender soap in the tub and began filling it with water as I putted candle lights on the edges and all around the bathroom to make it cozy. Then I went in and relaxed. I sang a little to myself but then I just began thinking. I let myself think about Andie and for the first time I smiled as I memorized all the things we had done together. It made me feel a lot better – now I could stop grieving over her and get a life again. I could think about her with joy instead of regretting telling her that I would marry her. After half an hour in the bath the clock was around 1 o’clock in the night. I got up and emptied the tub. I wrapped a towel around me and went out the door to get some clothes…

In front of me were to half naked guys. I just stared at them; chocked. They looked just as petrified as I felt. Then I realized it was Jayy and… Oh my God! He was together with GARRET ECSTACY?! The former lead singer in Blood on the Dance Floor. I was so chocked that I didn’t pay attention to my naked body (I had lost the grip on the towel and it fell down). Garret’s eyes went over my body and back up. Then he grinned at me and got off Jayy who looked tomato red in the head. I felt that I looked the same. “E… Excuse… M… Me…” I staggered but I didn’t move. I was completely frozen. Garret began taking his clothes back on. He said something to Jayy and left the apartment with a smile. What a weird evening. Jayy swallowed and got to his feet. He came towards me and I wanted to move; I knew that shimmer in his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he whispered in my ear. A shiver crept down my spine and I staggered back to the wall, but flinched as I touched it. He came closer and touched my shoulder. “You know that you’re really beautiful right? I can’t control myself anymore; I’ve wanted you for so long but you seemed disgusted by me, just say if you want me to stop,” he kept whispering. I swallowed and shook my head. The wall was so cold that I started shivering. He began kissing my neck and I could feel my body yearning for him but something inside me screamed for help. “I… I thought you were… Gay?... What happened?” I tried to say. He mumbled something into my skin and bend down to kiss my breasts when something just popped right out of me: “I can’t!” He stopped and looked me right into the eyes. You could see he was hurt and I hurried to explain. “I’m sorry… It’s just…I’m… I don’t want to disappoint you…” – though one part of it was that I didn’t want to hurt myself. He looked curiously at me and answered: “why would you disappoint me?” I swallowed once again and tried to calm myself. This was about the most embarrassing thing I had ever said to a boy: “I’m a virgin…” This seemed to startle him. He moved a bit back and automatically my hand grabbed his wrist. I didn’t want to hurt him. “I don’t want to hurt you… Do you want me Laura?” he asked me directly. I nodded. I knew I would regret this tomorrow but I had to let my feelings flow when he asked it of me. How could I say no when he said he wanted me? “I promise I’ll be gentle,” he said and smiled. Then he began kissing my neck again and he touched my breasts gently. I moaned and began touching his chest. Then he pushed me towards the bed and began taking off his jeans. I swallowed and the usual fire was lit inside me as I admired his naked body. Soon he was inside me. It hurt at first – a lot. But he pounded in and out a few times more and the pain stopped. I felt exceptionally good. It was like being on ecstasy and then I felt something coming. It was a weird feeling, not in a bad way though. And I moaned higher. Soon Jayy joined me and then he just lied on top of me and embraced me. When he got up to clean himself I realized something horrible: he hadn’t been using a condom. I staggered to my feet and wanted to go get dressed when he caught my hand and pulled me down on the bed. “Sleep with me tonight,” he said smiling. I just nodded and lied down in one side of the bed. He turned around towards me and held an arm around me. Then we were spooning .

I woke up with a weird feeling – I was fresh?! My pillow was quite hot… and moving up and down? My cheek felt sticky and my mouth dry. Oh my God; I had been drooling! How embarrassing. I sat up in the bed; panicked. What was I supposed to do? Then I looked at his face. Aw, so calm and peaceful. I remembered the first time I had seen this. I wanted to kiss his lips so badly. Then I remembered that he hadn’t kissed me the day before – not once. I went to the bathroom and took some paper to get rid of the drool on Jayy’s chest. I whipped the drool off and stared at him for a moment. He was beautiful. He had a perfect chest; you could just see his muscles and his biceps were a nice size. I couldn’t help myself; I had to touch him. Slowly my hand touched his chest. I made funny circles with my fingers and he seemed to shiver. My hand moved up to his head and slowly I touched his lips with my thumb. They parted and I felt his hot breath on my finger. I was about to move away when his lips moved. “Don’t. You got soft hands,” he said and smiled. I told him to lie on his chest and he rolled sleepy around. I made weird lines on his back and again he shivered. He got goose bumps, but he sighed with pleasure. For a long moment we sat like this (he lied down of course) but after 20 minutes my arm started to hurt. I stopped, but it seemed like Jayy had fallen asleep. For a few weeks it went like that; Jayy and I had some hot sessions and it seemed to make me stronger. He was the God of sex. He always found new ways to please me and he knew exactly what I wanted. Sometimes I was unsure of whether I pleased him or not. Then Tracy always told me that he wouldn’t have sex with me if I didn’t. She was a little jealous though, but actually once we had this party just the four of us – Dahvie, Jayy, Tracy and I and well… We got a bit drunk because Dahvie’s fiancé had dumped him and he needed to be cheered up. This is what happened: Dahvie seemed pretty sad though he had been drinking more than necessary. We heard loud music and suddenly Tracy came up with this crazy idea that we stripped for these guys to the song Sexting which was her favorite song. I was – of course – drunk enough to compete. Suddenly the guys were lying in Jayy’s bed staring at Tracy and me stripping down all our clothes. This seemed to help Dahvie’s mood in a naughty way. Both of the guys couldn’t control themselves and it ended up in me and Jayy having hot sex right next to Dahvie and Tracy doing the same. Man what a… Special night… Anyway it was the day of my period (it used to come the exact same day every month) but nothing happened. At night I got a little scared; why wouldn’t it come? At night I woke up and there was still no sign of my period. I went out to get some water when I realized Jayy was still up. He had lit candles and was drawing something. I came towards him and stood behind him and cuddled his neck. He shivered and rose to his feet faster than I could blink. He looked nervously at me and he seemed to sweat a bit. He grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall. Did he want sex? If so; this was not his typical way of telling me. I smiled at him and began touching his jeans around the waist – letting him now that I was ready for anything. “I need to try something…” he whispered and closed his eyes. He swallowed and suddenly he moved closer to me; hugged me tightly as his face came closer to mine. Was he… Was he about to do what I thought he was? I could feel his breath on my lips and the heat from it on the rest of my face. I stood stiff not daring to do any movement. My heart beaded faster and faster – soon it would make a hole in my chest. Then I felt his warm, soft lips on mine. It felt like my lips were burning. But I was filled with joy. It was like a rush of drugs were over me and I wanted him deeper and closer. Our kiss lasted too shortly for my liking but suddenly he released me and gasped. “Wow… Better than in my dreams,” he whispered between the gasps. I chuckled of happiness; he had been dreaming of kissing me. He looked curiously at me but I just walked towards him and stood on my tiptoes to… Kiss his lower lip. Bummer. I fell down to my heels and he laughed softly. “What have you done to me little emo kid,” he said and chuckled. Then he lifted me 5 inches over the ground and kissed me deeply. Then he lifted me to the bed and lied down on top of me. For a long time (that seemed like second to me) he just kissed me. Then he stripped down to his boxers and lied down beside me; hugging me and cuddling me. He kissed my back and my shoulders, then my cheeks and my face. Then we both fell asleep. A few weeks passed and Jayy and I began dating for real. He told me that after meeting me he had realized he wasn’t gay – only part gay. My life was filled with joy and happiness and Tracy had actually begun dating Dahvie. We used to spend time together just the four of us. Then one morning I felt really sick and had to puke. I didn’t tell Jayy about it – my period had also been missing for two months. One day after having sex suddenly said: “your breasts seem bigger than usual…” I swallowed and nodded. Tracy advised me to take a pregnancy test – she had also noticed me peeing a lot. One day we went shopping – or that was what we told the boys. Actually we went to buy a pregnancy test. I was nervous as hell and wanted to puke as I peed on the little stick. I swallowed and went – shaking all over – out to Tracy. I asked her to look on it for me and she went all white in the face. I knew what that meant. Slowly I began crying and she tried to comfort me. I called my mum and asked her to transfer some money for me because I had to see a doctor. Unfortunately it was too late to remove the child. I acted weird after that and Jayy noticed. He tried to get me to talk but how could I tell the person I loved that he was going to be a father – that the fun was over now. My mum asked me to come home earlier than planned so that we could handle this together but I couldn’t leave Jayy. But the day of my leave was getting closer and closer. I made sure I had fun with Jayy while being there though I still couldn’t tell him that I was pregnant – with twins. I was 17 and already pregnant. I cried a lot when Jayy couldn’t see.

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