Blood on the Dance Floor fan-fiction

En lille fan-fiction skrevet ud fra en drøm jeg havde for et års tid siden.
Laura er en pige omkring de 16-17 år som får muligheden for at møde sine største idoler, men der var dog en pris at betale. Laura er biseksuel og dater en pige ved navn Andy. De deler mange interesser, bland andet yndlingsbandet Blood on the Dance Floor. Da Andy bliver syg med lungekræft gør Laura hvad hun kan for at få bandet til Danmark.

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5. Away

The guys stayed for a few weeks more, but we didn’t see much of Dahvie; he was spending time with his fiancé. I went back to school and Jayy was with me as a guest. The teachers totally adored having him. He was so serious and he helped a lot of the students with their work, helping them to work instead of chat. We had a great time and I felt better though my shield sometimes cracked and I ended up crying over Andie, but that was mostly when I saw or heard something that reminded me of her. But I was very lucky that Jayy was always there to help me rebuild it. And in a way, that was bad. My heart began to pound faster when he was near. When he spoke to me I replied without thinking and always said stupid things. When he touched me, even if it wasn’t on purpose, I blushed and flinched. What was wrong with me? I couldn’t fall in love with Jayy! That was so very wrong! And he was gay for God’s sake! Andie had always been the one who loved him. Therefore I couldn’t. School was great. Though I didn’t have friends besides Jayy; the others only talked to me because of him. One day the guys performed for us in a pause. It was awesome and they had taken posters with them to give people for free. After that they stayed in the café to sign the posters. What I didn’t know was that while I was at class; Alexander went talking to them. When I came out I saw him standing over the table, then he turned his head and smiled at me. One part of me still felt butterflies in my tummy when he did that, but the other part didn’t feel anything. After school Dahvie and Jayy followed me home, they wanted to speak with my mum. What was that about? Jayy teased me all the way home and it was quit annoying when I felt the wrong things. When we got home I went to my room and began studying. I knew my assignment was due for next week, but I needed to do it now. It was part of my shield; keep thinking about everything else but… but her. Then suddenly my mum called me out. “Laura? Can we talk to you for a minute?” my mum asked and waited for me to get up. “The guys suggested that you went to live with them in America… Just for half a year. Wo… Would you like that?” she asked me, though I could tell she wanted me to say no. I just stood there and stared. Me… going to the States? It was so far away. Where should I stay and with whom? What about school? When would I be leaving? I had so many questions, but one was on the tip of my tongue; why? My mum saw my stoned expression and she came over to embrace me. “It’s just so you’ll get better. You’ve come far, but you’re not all back to normal. The guys just want you to get better, heal, I suppose. The best way for you to do that is to get away from all of this for a few months,” she said. My eyes filled with tears, for no reason at all I knew that she was right and I wanted to go, but I couldn’t help it but say: “away from you?” Then the guys sighed and went into my room. They discussed pretty loudly and I thought I heard Jayy say: “Are you sure of this Dahvie? Did you hear what she said?” and then Dahvie replied: “But did you see her expression? She looked like she really wanted this!” Then the yelling started all over again and Jayy yelled something about not hearting me any further and Dahvie yelled something about this being the best for me. My ears hurt and I began crying again. Why did they fight? This sounded really bad. I wanted it to stop. I just wanted this to stop. Gently I released my mum and ran over to my room. I smashed the door open and the guys shot their mouths and looked startled at me. “Would the two of you please shut up and stop yelling at each other?!” I screamed. Then Jayy stalked past me and out of the door. I felt clump of ice in the pitch of my stomach, almost like a big stone. My heart pounded faster and I knew what I wanted to do was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. “JAYY! Wait! Don’t leave. At least not without me! I wanna go with you – and Dahvie. To the States,” I yelled, when I ran after him. When I said the last thing I reached out and grabbed his hand. In astonishment he stopped and locked his around mine. His hand was soft and gentle. It was actually beautiful. Medium size, pretty nails – not to girly though – and soft. Perfect, like everything else about him. My cheeks flushed and my heart pounded even faster. He turned around and faced me, looking right into my eyes. He had the prettiest brown eyes I had ever seen. They were so deep and tempting. I wanted to take my hand back – fast! Or something really bad would happen. But he came closer and then he hugged me tight. “Are you sure that’s what you want? It’s so far away from here… But you’ll stay with me, I have an extra room. Dahvie and I will pay for everything; phone bills, flight tickets and food. We’ll even pay for the high school,” Jayy said. I hugged him tighter and tried to say thanks but my voice came out as a whisper; I was too happy to say it out loud. They promised to wait for summer holiday, because then we could travel together. While I was studying at school the last few weeks, the guys traveled to Sweden and Norway and performed for them. I made sure that I enjoyed every moment I had left with my family before I went to the States. A week before we had to leave, the guys came home from a really great concert in Oslo they said. Summer holiday had started and we went to Tivoli and tried all the cool things. We went to the beach (the summer was great this year) and the guys teased me by opening my bikini top when I tried to get a tan on the back. Jayy flirted a lot with other guys and he got a friend while we were there. I told myself not to be jealous, after all; he was gay. Then came the day we had to leave. My family stood in the airport and waved goodbye. My mum cried – so did I. Jayy held my hand to comfort me as we walked away. He had promised my mum that I would call her the minute we got off the plain. I had never been on a plain before. I was very nervous and I actually felt a little sick. The guys had fun and they teased me. Then they realized that I wasn’t of much fun. Jayy took my hand and told me everything would be fine. Though I kept telling myself that everything would be fine; something stopped me when I was boarding the plane. This was last chance to back off and run home. But was that what I wanted? Hadn’t I waited with excitement for this day? Suddenly Jayy’s hands were on my shoulders and he hugged them tightly. My heart started beating and I began sweating in my palms. I couldn’t figure out whether it was because of Jayy being so sweet to me today, or the nervousness of the plane. I took the last step and stood in a room looking like a lobby. Dahvie sat on a chair waving at me; pointing on the seat at the window. I felt sick, but forced myself to walk over to the seat Dahvie had pointed at. Jayy sat in the seat beside me and took my hand again. It actually began feeling like a normal thing – Like we were dating. Oh my God! I took my hand back and gave him the “I’m-fine-thanks” look. A stewardess came out and told us about the security. Then the plane moved out to the start court. I had butterflies in my tummy and went all pale again. Jayy and Dahvie were talking and I just stared out of the window while the plane moved faster and faster. It felt like being in a rollercoaster and my stomach whirled, I thought I was going to be sick. Then we were in the air. I began to feel better as the plane flew over the countries. After half an hour I was all fine and began talking with Jayy (Dahvie was a sleep already). They had installed flat screens on the back of every seat and you could choose whatever movie you’d like. I chose Moulin Rouge and Jayy watched it with me – that was one of the great things about him; he didn’t complain whenever a girl wanted to watch a girl movie. It was a very dramatic movie and in the end I began crying a little. The end reminded me so much of Andie; how Satine dies in the arms of poor Christian. Jayy patted my shoulder and began listening to music. I just stared out of the window lost in thoughts and memories. A long time passed, Jayy had fallen asleep and Dahvie and I began talking a bit. Suddenly it got dark outside and I got a bit nervous. The plane started rumbling and the captain said we might have some turbulence for a moment. Jayy tried to tell me everything was ok and I could see he was about to take my hand. As fast as possible I could I moved my hand away. I hoped it didn’t offend him, but I saw a shadow cross over his eyes, then it was gone. When the shaking of the plane was over I fell asleep.

“She’s acting so strange Dahvie… She… Every time I try to take her hand or comfort her, she pulls away… She looks so miserable,” Jayy said with a little sadness in his voice. “I know… I guess it’s just hard for her to get over Andie… Jayy can I ask you a question?” Dahvie answered. Jayy nodded and Dahvie continued: “is there something about your sexuality that I don’t know?” He looked directly at Jayy who seemed to look down. He even looked a bit sad or confused. “Uhm… I really can’t tell myself… I used to be sure about me being gay… But… Ok this is weird, but I think I’m kind of in love with her?” he finally said. Dahvie nodded and patted his shoulder.

Where was this place? I trembled a bit and my breath came out like a fog. I was standing on a field, a guy with red and black hair stood a few feet away with his back to me. When he turned around and smiled at me; I recognized Jayy’s face. He came towards me and embraced me. I wanted to give in, so badly, but I knew it was wrong. I couldn’t do this to Andie. I pushed him away and he looked at me with sad eyes. What was wrong with him? What did he want? Then a light flashed and I looked towards it. Andie stood in the middle of the light smiling at me. “Do what you feel like doing sweetie, follow your heart. I will be with you at all times, be happy now”. Jayy stood looking at me with lustrous eyes and a fire burned inside of me. I couldn’t control what my body did, but I moved forward and embraced Jayy, tucking his hair in my hands pushing his head down to mine. I stood on my tip toes and…

I gasped and sat straight up in my seat. I was back on the plane and Jayy looked anxiously at me.

“Did… What happened?” he said but corrected himself. I sweated all over, knowing what the dream would end like if I hadn’t woken up. I cleared my eyes and looked at him. He looked quit impatient. “Uhm… I had a…” I stopped, I couldn’t really say it was a bad dream, “a weird dream,” I finished. He sat back in the seat and maybe it was just my imagination, but I thought I heard him sigh. Suddenly a honnysmooth voice spoke out through the speaker: “hello everyone, I hope you all had a nice flight. We will be landing in a few minutes”. I rolled up the curtain of the window and bright sunlight came through. I saw the country and the Statue of Liberty. It was beautiful. When we began to land my ears started to hurt. Like something pressed it in to my scull. The pain went up to my temples and down to my jaw. It hurt so bad that I began crying. Jayy tried to guide me through actions I could do to stop it but it wouldn’t. When we landed Jayy and Dahvie had to half carry me out the plane because the pain wouldn’t stop. A very nice stewardess gave me a pill that would reduce the pain. After half an hour it got better, but it didn’t stop completely. We went outside and the guys got a cab.

Jayy’s apartment was really cool. It was like a designer’s apartment with cool furniture. In one of the kitchen walls a hole was cut out into Jayy’s bedroom (instead of a boring wall with a door) – you could say it was a double room. In Jayy’s bedroom there was a big yellow double bed. The walls were dark red all over the apartment. On the refrigerator he had lots of pictures of events and concerts. You had to go through his bedroom to get to the hall with the bathroom; beside that door was another door. The bathroom was pretty big and he even had a bath tub, great! Finally we came to my room. It had a nice fitting size and the walls were the same red as the rest of the apartment. There was a nice pink double bed in the middle, a desk with a laptop on it in the corner, a dresser and a big fancy mirror. I opened my mouth but only weird noises came out. Dahvie laughed. I thanked the guys a million times and then I closed the door and called my mum. It was the middle of the night in Denmark, but she picked up anyway. She was glad that I was safe and sound. After I hung up I began to unpack my stuff. Suddenly somebody knocked on the door. I must have fallen asleep. I sat up and cleared my eyes. “Come in,” I said. Jayy came in with a smile. “You wanna eat at home or out?” he asked. I thought that over for a minute. Wouldn’t it be more exciting to eat out and see a bit of New York? Apparently I made a funny expression as I thought because Jayy started chuckling. “Okay, let’s eat out!” I said firmly. He chose a nice restaurant, not too formal and not too sticky. Jayy ordered a salmon salad and I ordered mushroom ravioli. The food was delicious. We didn’t talk much during dinner; we only talked about random stuff like the food and the weather. I was really nervous; this was the first time I was alone with Jayy, eating out. “You seem quiet today?” Jayy stated. What a great time to talk; when I had just put a mushroom in my mouth. I chewed slowly before answering; I had to think of a good lie, I couldn’t tell him that he was making me nervous. Meantime he just looked at me with those big pretty, cute brown eyes. I cleared my throat before talking: “It’s just that… It feels kinda weird being here, you know? Without my mum and a completely unknown country,” I said, smiling shyly; trying to make it more real. He chuckled a bit and began eating again. Then he looked up and began laughing. I looked questionable at him and then he raised a hand over the table, he stopped a few inches from my head. Was he waiting for a reaction? I just stared at his hand motionless. My heart pounded faster, louder and harder. I knew he could hear it beat. I wanted to back out but something stopped me. I began to sweat and my cheeks got hot. He touched my nose and then he grinned at me. I smiled shyly. Why did he touch my nose? He pulled his arm back and said: “you had some sauce on your nose”. I swallowed and tried to cool down. When we walked home I wanted to take a shower. Jayy gave me a crystal blue towel and I went out. The water running down my naked skin seemed to wash away the evenings embarrassment and I began denying my feelings again. I couldn’t be in love with him. He just acted like he did because he was gay, he didn’t feel anything else than friendship towards me. I looked at myself in the mirror; seeing a pretty girl with big blue eyes matching the towel and wet long black and pink curled hair. As I went out the door I forgot to keep a hand on the towel and I lost it. There I stood with an embarrassed expression looking down on my naked body and feeling Jayy’s stare. I looked up and saw directly into a pair of brown eyes. But they seemed to have a different shimmer than usual. He bent down and pulled the towel up and covered my naked skin.  For a moment we just stared into each other’s eyes. I could feel the heat from his body. Then Dahvie’s head showed behind the wall in Jayy’s bedroom and, shocked as I was, I ripped the towel from Jayy’s hands, wrapped it around myself and ran into my room. Like a machine I pulled on my favorite night gown and began drying and straightening my hair. I logged on my Facebook and told I was fine. Then I took out a book and began reading. Suddenly Jayy came in without knocking and I didn’t have time to hide. He just stared at my pink and black nightgown. Then he smiled and the shimmer was back in his eyes. A sparkle began inside me and I wanted have him but I fought it. “That sure is tight, you sure you can sleep in that, honny?” he teased. I stuck out my tongue at him and we both laughed. Then he came over, which I really didn’t want him to, and sat down beside me. He hugged me and whispered something about me being happy here and stuff like that, but I didn’t hear all of it; I was too busy controlling myself. Then he said goodnight and went out.

We were walking hand in hand. She smiled at me and I gave her hand a little squeeze. We ran on a road near my place. It was her birthday. She wore the pink earmuffs I had given her along with the blue Blood on the Dance Floor tee. Her eyes always got brighter - the pink shimmer got stronger - when it snowed, which it did that day. I had always been jealous at her because of those eyes. She stopped and then she kissed me. When she released me I saw Jayy behind her. She let go of my hand and nodded towards Jayy, telling me to go. I did as she told me, but I turned around and saw her waving at me with a happy smile. Then it was like she fated and got more and more invisible and I began crying. Jayy patted my shoulder and I turned around to face him. I should never have done that. He grabbed my neck and pulled me closer. A part of me wanted to fight back and get away. The other part wanted him closer, wanted him to touch me. My heart beat was so loud that I knew he would hear it. He smiled his heartbreaking smile and our faces got closer. I could feel his breath. Our lips were inches from each other. I wanted to fight back and I wanted to give in…

I gasped and sat straight up in my bed. I was sweaty all over and my hair stuck to my neck. My lips burned and my throat was dry. I touched my lips as though we really had kissed each other, but when my nails touched my lower lip I felt pain and my finger got wet. I looked down and realized that my lips were so dry that my nails had ripped a hole in my lip. Quickly but as quiet as possible; I went out to the bathroom and took some paper to clean up the blood. My throat began hurting and I had to get some water. Call me prissy, but I can’t drink of a toilet sink. As quietly as possible I walked out of the bathroom and into Jayy’s bedroom. There I saw the cutest sight ever. He was lying half under the duvet and with the other leg over it. He had a pillow under one arm and open mouth. His hair was a mess, but that just made it cuter. I froze as he turned over and hugged the duvet instead. He closed his mouth and pouted his lips instead. SO CUTE! I couldn’t help it; I began chuckling under my breath. He wrinkled his nose and snored quietly. My eyes went down to he’s chest and his biceps. Was I drooling?! Oh my God, I was drooling! I dried my mouth with a hand and swallowed. Pain shot through my throat and I remembered why I was out here. I tiptoed into the kitchen and found a glass. The sink was quite noisy. I drank it all in one big swallow. Then someone hugged me from behind. I was about to scream when I realized it was Jayy (I could smell it). He began kissing my neck and I shivered. I felt hot all over and it burned where he had kissed me. I wanted to give in but I still felt a warning. This was wrong. But a fire was lit inside me and I couldn’t help myself. Then something strange happened. I turned around to face him when he moaned: “Garrett”.

I froze instantly. GARRETT?! The fire of lust suddenly turned into a fire of anger. I slapped him right in the face and ran, behind me I heard him fall but I didn’t care. I slammed the door to my room and jumped down on the bed and buried my face into a pillow while I cried. Outside I heard Jayy: “WHAT THE…?!” Then I heard footsteps and the bathroom door closed. After a few minutes he knocked on my door. “STAY AWAY!” I yelled; I really didn’t feel like seeing him. He opened the door screamed: “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” “Who are you to yell that?!” I spat right back. I heard him sigh. “What the hell happened? Why did you slap me and why was I in the kitchen?” he finally said, calmer than before. “You were there! You know what happened! Pervert!” I spat out as I sat up. Then he went completely motionless. Ok, the last word was a little harsh and I really had no Idea where it came from. “Did I hurt you in any way?” he said as he moved closer. He didn’t know? He seriously didn’t know what happened. Had he been asleep? I looked up at him. Then I saw his face. It already began swelling. He had a red mark from the corner of his eye and down his cheeks. I opened my mouth and closed it again. He came closer but I flinched. He stopped and sighed. “I… You… I went out to the kitchen to get some water and you came out and… You kissed me,” I said. I didn’t have to tell him the exact truth to why I had slapped him, did I? Then he stared at me and everything he said was: “oh”. He backed out the door and shut it behind him.

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