MujerUnited StatesMiembro desde 31 jul 13Last online 2 years ago

Probably in a corner somewhere. Search a bookstore or music shop near you.

[the older, more sophisticated dramaticllama Nightshade]

  • mellowdramaticllama

    mumbled "so I did a thing"

    It's only one chapter, and I'm sending it in an application to a very important and prestigious camp in a few weeks, so any and all feedback is appreciated. Please. It'll take you literally ten minutes and mean the world to me.
    Homeshell: A Short StoryOn the road, I’d thought that when I got here, I’d be a feather on the wind of exhilarating freedom, but this apartment is nothing but an empty shell....
  • mellowdramaticllama
    Aw, that was adorable. The imagery is very detailed, which I like, especially the description of the yellow streetlight in a blue street. One repetitive thing was that breath/sighs escaped her twice, so maybe change one. One thing I think might improve it is a little more conflict, though. Like, I love it fluffy, but maybe add a little more about Oceane worrying Sara wouldn't show up, just to raise the stakes a little and to make it even more satisfying when she does show up and everything's all good and cute. I really liked it, though. Those last two sentences were amazing.
    A Star in the Ocean
    A Star in the Ocea...
    A one-shot story. Written listening to really soppy music, and an idea I've been trying to do justice for a long time - I hope you enjoy.
    May Hayashi
    2 years ago
    Thank you! Really helpful advice, I'll see what I can do :)
    1 Like
    I'm glad it helped!!
  • mellowdramaticllama

    mumbled "New short story! "

    Please read (and give me feedback, if you have the time) on this short story I wrote recently! Not to beg, but I'm begging you, thanks.

    Treelights: A short storyTwo friends help each other find direction during a game of hide-and-seek in the woods at night. A short story.
    2 years ago
    1 Like
    Love it! At the moment I have no criticisms, but I might come back later and see if I notice anything.
    Thank you so much for reading!
  • mellowdramaticllama

    mumbled "peeps in through the door"

    2 Me gustan
    Hi, guys. I'm home?

    It's been a while (I mean, since I was here I think I've not only turned 17, but also gained a hedgehog), but guess what? I come bearing writing.

    I've been writing a lot lately, because I'm applying to a prestigious writing camp this summer, and I've been feeling weird about it, and I think it's because I miss you guys.

    So here I am. I'll be putting up a short story soon. I'll mumble again when I do. Please read it and give me feedback. I need all the help I can get ;)

    It's nice to be back. For the record, I also haunt Twitter, and do lots of writing things on there, so feel free to follow.


    P.S. Still working on ZORG, too. They all say hi.
    2 years ago
    1 Like
    Welcome back! :D
    Thank you!!
    2 years ago
    1 Like
    I'm so alive, and the world won't let me forget it :)
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