Neutral genderUnited KingdomMiembro desde 28 jul 14Edad 20Last online 3 months ago

Just gotta try my best! You don't know what tomorrow will hold, that's why you have to keep going!

Hello, all, I'm Alviss.

It would be really amazing if you could check out my stories 'Oleander' and 'The Poison Garden'.
'The Poison Garden' is a work in progress, and both may require thorough editing, but I am positively devoted to the characters, and will do everything I can to make my writing or the character development better.
And saying that, if anyone could offer any CC on either of those stories, that would be amazing, I'd be so grateful!

  • Alviss Brown

    mumbled "New Version of The Poison Garden"

    Hey, everyone!
    I'm okay!
    I was going to keep the new version of The Poison Garden that I'm writing to myself for now (I know I didn't finish the first version but something about it just didn't feel right to me), but I am not sure how I feel about it, it is largely unedited and I am hungry for feedback.
    So if anyone is up for a quick (?) read - there's not a lot of it, and it's almost all shoved together in one chunk. (It's titled 'Wormwood (The Poison Garden)')

    I welcome (crave) feedback!
    (Also, if this post comes across kind of weird - I am third year university student and I am very tired. So very tired.)

  • Alviss Brown

    mumbled "Update"

    1 Like
    Hi, everyone,
    Thanks for being patient with me. It's been five months since I've last posted, and that post was negative. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm okay, I'm still here.
    I've been thinking a lot about The Poison Garden and the characters, but until the past couple of days I've just had no motivation to write anything.
    You might be glad to know I have started doing a bit of tPG-related writing, but it isn't continuing on from the original story. Whilst I still like the original story, I've come to be a little disappointed with it.
    What I've been writing is a new version which follows Wormwood, much like Oleander and Tea followed those two titular characters, but this would be the main story of which Oleander and Tea are off-shoots.
    It's going to take a lot of thinking, and time and effort I maybe just don't have spare at the minute, but I promise that I'm not going to give up on these characters and this setting.
    And if anyone, at any point, wants to talk to me about it - that would be absolutely amazing.

    Again, thanks everyone.
    Katie Pharoah
    8 months ago
    2 Me gustan
    Take your time and get comfortable with writing again. Wishing you luck on the new project :)
    8 months ago
    1 Like
    That sounds great, I'll message you to talk about it! <3 And yeah, take your time!! :)
  • Alviss Brown

    mumbled "The Poison Garden is on hiatus until further notice."

    Sorry, guys, but I've just not been doing well mentally, and putting up a chapter every week is applying extra pressure that I just don't need.
    The Easter starts at the end of this week, though. Hopefully, I'll be back with a new chapter in a few weeks time.

    Thanks for understanding.
  • Alviss Brown

    mumbled "I'm sorry to do this again..."

    But I've had a panic attack mid-chapter, and it's completely exhausted me.
    I'm in no good state to keep writing tonight.
    I'm going to take it easy, and post the next chapter tomorrow.

    I'm really sorry I've been so bad at posting on time recently.

    Thanks for understand.
    Katie Pharoah
    1 years ago
    Take care of yourself and don't apologise, you can't force these things :)
    Alviss Brown
    1 years ago
    1 Like
    Thank you.
  • Alviss Brown

    mumbled "A New Step "

    There are a few of you that know I am a university student, and maybe a few who know that I've suffered with anxiety since year 11 (age 15/16)(that's when I was diagnosed anyway.)
    I went through college hardly being able to sit through an entire lesson without bursting into tears. My teachers tried hard to make sure I was okay and keep me on track with work, but in the end this once-all-A-grades student finished college with grades that I felt didn't truly show my ability.
    I was disappointed in myself, but didn't know where I'd gone wrong. Mentally, I was in the dirt.
    University loomed over me in perpetual terror - being who I was, struggling as I did to even last one day without bursting into tears, how was I supposed to even live independently, never mind succeed?
    And people reassured me - 'University is a different environment. You'll make friends, you'll do well, you're clever.'
    I couldn't believe them. I didn't feel clever. I didn't even feel likeable. College had taught me that any friend I had made would eventually turn against me - and so I must not be likeable, I must be annoying.
    University terrified me.
    But once I was here, once I was adjusted (and it did take a few months), I started to realise that, without knowing just how much, all those people who told me that everything would be okay were right.
    I made friends - people who love me and tell me how they can't imagine life without me. I'm still getting to grips with that, but I'm getting it slowly that maybe - just maybe - there are people out here who I could be with until I am old and grey.
    I'm doing well with my grades, too - 1st and 2:1s cover my marks, with the odd slip. I'm still adapting to the grading system, too, but I'm getting there.
    Now, halfway through my second year of uni, finally, I am starting to see this- to recognise (to be ABLE TO ADMIT TO MYSELF) that I am getting better, that things can and will get better, despite my slip ups, despite my failings, I can achieve what I want to achieve.
    Today I have taken another step - I have created a brand new society, entirely on my own initiative.
    From being someone who burst into tears when I couldn't answer a question, I am now someone who feels - and is - capable of standing at the head of a committee, directing them.
    I still have anxiety, and I have plenty of bad days, but I am now the President of a society and I've not cried once at the prospect. My heart is full with hope and excitement.
    For once, I am able to believe that I can do this.

    And for some, this may seem minor - all unis have societies, and each one has a president, hundreds and hundreds of society presidents throughout all of the UK - but for me it is the greatest step I have ever taken.
    I am making bounds towards a future that, only a year and a half ago, I never thought I would have.
    But I can see it now.
    And I can do this.

    You can do this, too.

    (Thanks for listening to me ramble on. This is important.)
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