My Brother is in a Band {BTOB}

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  • Publiceret: 5 aug. 2014
  • Opdateret: 28 jun. 2016
  • Status: Igang
Jung Heejin is a girl born into a rich family. But she isn’t really needed because of her older brother who has to take over their parents’ company. Heejin has always acted like the perfect daughter and never rebelled against her parents. Unlike her twin brother Ilhoon. Ilhoon has never fit into the rich lifestyle and at the age of 17 he ran away from home. When he then appears again two years later it turns out he has started a band. Ilhoon asks for Heejin’s help because he and the band are in trouble. Heejin who has never done anything her parents wouldn’t like, decides to help her brother and his band. But she never expected to be drawn into their world and actually feel at home. And she definitely never dreamt of falling in love with a guy who plays in a band. Especially not her brother’s band.

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13. Lend me your wings

 

 

I stop the car in front of the apartment complex where Minhyuk’s apartment is. We haven’t spoken a single word since we left the café. Minhyuk gets out of the car and I hesitate. If I follow him inside we have to talk about what happened, and since Minhyuk’s still angry he might say things he doesn’t mean. I’m afraid that if we talk now, we could break up.

I hear a knocking on the side window and then the door opens. I look at Minhyuk with scared eyes. His face is expressionless and impossible to read.

“We need to talk,” he says and I feel my stomach tighten. I turn off the engine and get out of the car. I follow Minhyuk to his apartment and I feel very awkward and uncomfortable standing in his living room. The place where I’ve felt very much at home for the past two weeks, now feels almost dangerous. I turn around to face Minhyuk and he’s obviously tense.

“There’s something I need to ask you and I know it’s childish,” he says and takes a deep breath, “but who do you care about the most, me or Ilhoon?”

“My brother,” I say and Minhyuk frowns. “You didn’t even hesitate for a split second,” he says and sounds disappointed and a little hurt. “That’s because I know it for sure. There’s no one in this world that I love more than Ilhoon,” I say and Minhyuk turns away from me. “You say it so easily. Do you even love me at all?” he asks. “Of course I do. And I want to be with you.”

“If you want to be with me then why can’t you tell Ilhoon about us? We always have to be secretive and careful around him because he can’t know. I feel like I’m doing something wrong when I’m obviously not.”

“I already told you why my brother can’t know,” I say and Minhyuk’s silent for a few seconds. “Tell me again,” he demands and I sigh. “You know that Ilhoon doesn’t like the idea of one of his band members dating me. If we told him he would most likely oppose of our relationship,” I say and Minhyuk scoffs. “So what? He’s your brother, not your parent. He doesn’t have the right to decide who you date.”

“You don’t know my relationship with my brother. He’s my everything and I’ll do whatever it takes to make him happy. So if he finds out about us and asks me to break up with you, I’ll do it.”

Minhyuk turns his head and looks at me with wide eyes. “You’ll break up with me just because he tells you to?” he asks and I nod. “I owe my brother everything. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him and I feel like I’ll never be able to repay him. But in any way I can, I’ll dedicate myself to him. His happiness is my happiness and if he doesn’t want me to be with you then I’ll do whatever he asks me to do.”

Minhyuk runs a hand through his hair while taking a deep breath. “You can’t be serious,” he says in a subdued voice. “It’s the truth,” I say and even though I know my words hurt Minhyuk, I can’t lie to him. I won’t lie to him. I want to be with him, I really do, but if Ilhoon tells me to break up with him I will. Because I always listen to my brother. Always.

“Have you ever thought about the fact that you probably love your brother twice as much as he loves you? Because if Ilhoon really loves you as much as you love him, then where was he the past two years? He didn’t even contact you. You obviously love him more than he loves you.”

“That’s okay,” I say and smile slightly, “I love him enough for the both of us.”

Minhyuk closes his eyes and starts massaging his temples. “Get out,” he whispers and my smile immediately disappears. “You want me to leave?” I ask and he nods, “should I come back later?”

“Don’t you get it?” he asks and opens his eyes to look at me, “it’s over. I don’t want you to come back. I can’t even stand the sight of your face right now. So can’t you just get lost before I do something I’ll seriously regret.”

My eyes start to fill with tears and I run out of the apartment before they start falling. I run all the way down to my car and get in. I hide my face in my hands while the tears are falling. I feared this would happen. That if we talked things through it would ruin everything. The truth is that I know I shouldn’t cherish and love my brother like I do. I know it’s wrong and unhealthy. But I really feel like I owe him everything and that I have to be grateful for the rest of my life. But I wonder if that’s how things should be. I know I shouldn’t be so affected by my brother’s needs and wishes. But in the past I never questioned this obsession with Ilhoon’s happiness. He has always been my everything. But thinking about Minhyuk and how important he has become, I think it’s time to let my brother go. To start living for myself too and not just for him. To start living the way I want to. Starting with loving and being with who I want to.

I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath. Then I leave the car and go back to Minhyuk’s apartment. When I’m standing outside the door I hear loud noises from in there. I step inside and see that the living room is a mess. The TV is lying on the floor and is obviously broken, the couch is flipped over and the lamp, which used to stand in the corner, is now on the floor in the other end of the room, completely smashed. What happened? I hear more noises from Minhyuk’s bedroom and I walk over to the door. I look inside and see that Minhyuk’s in the middle of tearing everything apart in here too. He has already thrown the pillows all over the room and removed the sheets. The sheets also look like they have been torn apart. The lamp on the bedside table is broken and on the floor. And Minhyuk’s now in the middle of ripping the shelves out of the closet so his clothes are all over the place. I feel intimidated because of this fury I see in Minhyuk for the second time today. But I’m not scared of him. The only feeling I have, is this urge to protect him and assure him that everything’s okay. That he doesn’t have to feel like this again.

Minhyuk stops and pants heavily because of damage he has made. I walk over and stand in front of him. He gazes at me and his eyes examine my face as if he’s looking for something. He looks exhausted and his eyes are tormented. I put my arms around him and pull him close.

“It’s okay, Minhyuk,” I whisper and gently pats his back with one hand. He relaxes in my arms and sighs heavily. Then he leans against me and rests his head on my shoulder. I keep holding him and assuring him that it’s okay. After a while Minhyuk finally talks.

“Why did you come back? I said it was over between us,” he whispers and I stop patting his back. “I couldn’t leave you. Not like this,” I answer and Minhyuk lifts his head from my shoulder, “I love you. I really do and I want to be with you. I realized that my attachment to my brother isn’t healthy. Of course I should love him but I think I’m loving him the wrong way.”

I let go of Minhyuk and take a step back. “I want to break this unhealthy attachment to Ilhoon and start loving him like a normal sister should. But I can’t do it alone,” I say and look hesitantly at Minhyuk, “I want to be free to make decisions for myself. I want to think about my own happiness and not just my brother’s.”

Minhyuk looks at me for a long while before he asks: “Are you asking for my help?”

I reach out my hand and place it on his cheek. “Yes. I’m asking you to lend me your wings and help me fly free.”

A wide smile spreads across Minhyuk’s face. He removes my hand from his cheek and laces his fingers with mine.

“Don’t worry. I’ll teach you how to fly.”

I return his smile and give his hand a gentle squeeze. Then Minhyuk leans closer and kisses me. I return the kiss, still with a smile on my face.

“I love you,” Minhyuk whispers against my lips. Then he puts his arms around me and pulls me close. The kiss gets deeper and Minhyuk’s breathing gets heavier. I stiffen when I feel his hand making its way under my shirt. I break the kiss and pull away.

“Did I go too far?” he asks out of breath. I shake my head and try to collect my thoughts. The kiss, his touch and his warmth all made my body and my mind go crazy. And to be honest I didn’t pull away because I didn’t like. Actually I want him too. But this isn’t the right place or the right time.

“If we sleep together now it’ll feel like make up sex. And I don’t want to lose my virginity like that,” I say and Minhyuk stares at me. “You’re still a virgin?” he asks and I roll my eyes. “Yes I’m a 20-year old virgin. Don’t judge me!” I say and Minhyuk laughs. Then he grabs me, lifts me from the ground and spins me around.

“Stop! Put me down!” I exclaim and Minhyuk puts me down. “Do you like it that much?” I ask and feel a little dizzy after the spinning. “Of course I do! It means that I’m gonna be your first and that’s something special. I like the thought that I’ll be able to do something with you that you haven’t tried with anyone before,” he says and smiles widely. “But you have done it before,” I say and his smile stiffens a little, “it’s okay, I don’t mind. And I guess it’s for the better because then at least one of us knows what they’re doing.”

He laughs again and then cups my face. “God you’re gorgeous,” he says and gives me a light kiss. I smile and I fear that my heart can’t contain all the love that I feel for this boy. I’m really happy that I decided to come back here instead of just driving back to the café. Had I just left, our relationship would have been beyond repair. But now our love gets another chance.

“Just to make sure, we’re together again right?” I ask and Minhyuk chuckles. “I’m not sure we ever broke up,” Minhyuk says and looks apologetic, “I didn’t mean what I said. I was just angry and hurt. I never wanted you to leave me.”

“Then it’s a good thing that I love you enough to come back,” I say and he nods. Then he kisses me again and this time he doesn’t try anything. I know that I some day in a near future will sleep with him. Even though it’s not today, I want to give this guy my everything. Because he deserves nothing less.

Minhyuk found new sheets for his bed that he put on. He also picked up the pillows and put them back in their rightful place. So right now we’re lying entwined on his bed facing each other. Minhyuk fell asleep a few minutes ago and I don’t want to disturb him. He looks so peaceful and relaxed in his sleep. I gaze at his face while listening to his slow and steady breathing. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at his face. It has soft and slightly feminine features. It’s the exact opposite of Ilhoon’s face which has rough and sharp features. And even though I think Ilhoon’s very good looking, he still can’t compete with Minhyuk. I wouldn’t be surprised if Minhyuk’s wings turned out to be real and he’s an angel. No human can be this beautiful. While looking at this angel-like boy in front of me I can’t help but feel proud to call him mine. And I hope I’ll always be able to call him mine.

 

 

 

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