The Fault in Ourselves

My alternative ending to The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.


1. My Mark

Dear Peter Van Houten,

           I'm going to die in a couple of days, the doctors are not sure which day. They're probably making bets that I'm either going to die on a Friday or Saturday. Oh wow, that's such a depressing start but right now I'm being very cynical. Augustus Water leaving this world is just heartbreaking, he was the light in this world. Everyone needed him in their life, everyone needs an Augustus Waters. I was supposed to be the first one to go, he was supposed to stay, marry a beautiful woman, have babies who will be much more pretentious than him. Wait, I don't think that's possible, no-one can be more pretentious than Augustus. He saved me, he helped me become a better human being, he helped me experience life, he supported me in this insane journey. He taught me to love and showed me that I am worthy of love. Peter Van Houten, Augustus was such a beautiful man, the adventures we took together was unbelievable, his smile would never fade and his laughter was always filled with such life and soul. His eyes, oh his eyes showed the little boy inside of him waiting to show the world Augustus Waters, the guy who feared oblivion, who wanted to leave a mark in this world. And he did, he left a mark in me, in Isaac, in everyone he has met. Even in you Peter Van Houten. That mark he has left will remain with us always and will stay in this world forever because such happiness and love deserves to stay, especially his love for life. I hate this, I wish this was all a dream, that I could wake up tomorrow and be in the arms of Gus and just kiss his forehead, then his jaw, his eyelids and if he's not talking, his mouth. I always felt at home with him and now that he's gone, I don't know where home is. It's like I'm lost, I'm no longer safe. I'll soon be home with him, I'll send him your regards. I'm smiling foolishly now, I'll soon be reunited with him and it sends such a warm feeling through my whole body, and that's how you know that you feel at home. When you feel like its just you and that one person against the whole world, where you can battle through anything life gives you. When you're comfortable, and safe and in the arms of someone who loves you, now that's what home feels like. 

The thing is, people see faults in themselves rather than others because they don't believe that they can be perfect or beautiful or just an unbelievable person and Augustus made people feel like they are important. Society teaches us in order to be perfect we must share the same norms and follow each others routine, what it doesn't teach us is that we can be whoever we want and be okay with that, because being out of this world is okay. And that's what Gus was like, he was literally out of this world. He was self-confident and positive and to be around such a positive ambiance was incredible and fascinating and for me, it took me out of the comfort zone. I was always a cynical person but ever since I met Augustus, he made me feel like such a meaningful human being, and to see such beauty in the world, and in human beings. He changed my world upside down and I can't thank him enough. 

Augustus Waters never failed to make me smile or laugh, he could never say a bad word about anyone because he was such a good person and he showed what the meaning of life really is. He really did live life like it was his last day, and he was a fighter. He will forever be mine, and I will forever be his. We are one together, and I miss him so much. I look up at the stars knowing he's on the other side and I hope he can see how they shine so bright for him. I love Augustus Waters, forever and always. He will forever live in me, in all of us, in this world. He has left his mark and now I will leave mine. 

I love him, and it's been a privilege to get my heart broken by Augustus Waters, I like my choices and I know he does too. He gave me a forever within a number of days, and I'm so grateful.

Have a good life, Peter Van Houten. 

Forever and always, Hazel Grace Lancaster

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