Stuck In Fire 2 - Justin Bieber

Justin is finally reunited with Katie.. and that's awesome. I don't know what to write, 'cause i haven't read the story o.o IT'S NOT MIIIINE. I JUST POST IT TO READ IT :P


6. 6

Chapter 6

**When we see Justin working in the stables today, I am trying to use my new horse intel to make it more believable so if something's different from day one, just live with it! LOL thanks to my horse loving friends!

Also, I know the real town of Casper is not as southern accented and little town as I'm describing, but for the purposes of this story, I've made it that way. Picture a little country town, everyone knowing each other's business all the time, southern accents. Thanks!

I promise no perfection when it comes to punctuations in our out of dialogue tags…sorry. I am very flawed, just like sweet Justin…lol.


I felt so great this morning…I didn't say anything at breakfast but I couldn't wait to tell Selena tonight. I hadn't had any nightmares last night, after being with her. I slept like a baby, utterly worn out but it was a delicious aching I rather enjoyed, especially after Selena massaged me.

At first I was tense when she suggested it. I thought it would conjure up images of HIM behind me, touching me, stroking my…

Anyway, I was so glad to be wrong for once. Selena was smart to always use her voice to let me know it was her there, she didn't say anything overly sexual…just…very soothing, like, "You're safe…" and "I've got you…relax…" and my favorite, "just close your eyes and feel how much I love you…yeeaaa…."

She touched me so gently…I almost cried. It was like that night I let myself trust her for the first time, when she took care of me after Raven had kicked my ass that weekend. How did this angel find ME and why is she bothering with my sorry ass?

God I love her. It was almost like Dr. Selena and my sexy Selena had combined into one being. It was Eden. And for a few hours, I DID feel safe…protected. I knew if anyone tried to hurt me then, my Selena would eat them for lunch!

It was the one time since Sir Kevin that I really did feel safe.

I thought back for a moment to fierce Selena and I shivered a bit. Selena is tough, and when she cares she fights like a tiger. It shows me how much she really loves me, going so berserk like that. The things she said did sting…even burn. I wanted to be mad at her, to walk out, even though I know I can never do that. I walked out on Tanya once and then that fire happened, burning my whole world down.

But I provoked Selena and I know it's my fault. I lied. I begged for Dr. Selena and then I betrayed her by hiding, like she said I would. I am such a fucking coward. When did that happen? I used to be afraid of nothing. I leapt into all kinds of sexual games and torments without blinking not so long ago…and now, I shiver all the time, at nothing.

I don't know why I do the things I do. I certainly didn't mean to hurt her anymore than I already had. I recalled the night Selena and Emmett saved me from Raven's place. She was RAW that night too. I have to stop lying and hiding like a child. Like she said, and she was right…when I stop, THEN I'll be a man.

And so I made a mental list of all the things Selena deserves. All the things Katie needs. And I decided to start today to put things right…even if I don't fully feel it in my bones. I can make myself be that man. I have to. Or I'll lose them…and they're everything.

I have to admit, it felt awesome when Selena jumped into my arms and called me Daddy. I am such a sick fuck. Who knows what would've happened if Ben wasn't staring at us?

Speaking of sick fucks, I was with Bob now, on the truck again, and I just couldn't hate him today. I brought a thermos of coffee today and shared it with him, to return the favor yesterday.

"Have some of my cow piss.", I offered him, opening it and hoping he liked the way I made it.

One thing I knew how to do was cook and make a wicked cup of coffee. Victoria had made me her slave in every sense of the word. I cooked, cleaned, Hell, I even shaved her legs and gave her fucking pedicures when she demanded it!

Bob smirked at me and thanked me, tasting it without hesitation, showing he trusted me.

"WOW!", he looked at me in surprise, "Damn, that's GOOD! What'd you do to it?"

"That's MY secret.", I grinned, "I've been trying for years to make coffee that's just like Starbuck's. Now people tell me that mine is BETTER."

Bob looked at me, furrowing his brow and asked, "What's Starbucks?"

Oh. My. God. Poor Bob. I think I would lay down and die if I'd never tasted Starbucks before.

The sorrowed and shocked look on my face must have tickled him, because he chuckled and took a bigger gulp. I blinked and saw Emmett for a half second…and swallowed hard, looking away. For a moment, it was almost like I was sitting beside him, relaxing after a long, tough night. Emmett loved to make Starbucks runs after work and bring us all something great. I miss you, man. And you, too, Jasper. I hope you guys are alright.

I closed my eyes, opened them, and decided that Bob was my friend, too. I would work hard to let my walls down a little and try to trust him. I just hope I'm not wrong. I feel so fragile, as if – if one more hurt gets in, I'll be done for. I have to get tougher. I won't survive if I can't find some kind of armor.

Something occurred to me and I widened my eyes, thinking maybe HE would know…

"Hey, Bob?"

"Yea Masen?"

"Do you know what a Slurpee is?", I asked, setting my jaw, prepared to be disappointed if he didn't know either.


I am the hugest bitch on the planet.

I came to that conclusion as I drove to school. First I force myself on him sexually, acting just as slimy as Victoria ever did. I knew he was tired and sore…I should've let him rest, but NO, my own selfish desires came first before what he was going through. UGH!

I wouldn't have TOUCHED me if I were him and I just went off on him for being too close to his daughter. I put myself in his place and saw it from his angle. And I looked so ugly to myself from his viewpoint. But as usual, he just forgave that right away and…performed when I demanded it. Oh God! I turned him back into a toy, only now he's just MY toy! I won't even share him with his child !

Then, I totally lost my shit in the first two minutes of a session with him! I felt tears in my eyes as I heard my own voice screaming at him.

'THEN you'll be a man!'

' DO you MISS HER?'

"I can't WAIT to hear your CHRISTMAS whining!'

All my words were killing me to remember, especially now that I knew what had happened to my Justin.

He was raped. By a fucking MAN!

The enormity of those words…I can't BREATHE! He was suffering with post traumatic stress disorder and I didn't even SEE it. I called him names and screamed at him. Oh my God! I fucked up so bad! Justin…

I could see his eyes, filled with tears while I yelled at him last night…

I was crying now, full on. My vision is getting screwed up. SHIT! I almost hit that other car!

My fists were turning white against the steering wheel, I could make out their strange color. Then I could see Justin struggling, pleading…crying…helpless in leather restraints…maybe even gagged by chains or a black ball gag…his growls of fear and pain speaking for themselves…and that FUCKER put his hands on my baby!

I let a roar escape my trembling lips as I imagined him behind Justin…doing any damned thing he pleased with his body against his will…I could feel bile rising up my throat…and then this last little tidbit fell onto my brain.

He was raped because you confronted Victoria that night…and he stood by you. That was his fucking punishment. You stupid bitch. You did this to him.

I couldn't take anymore and I yanked the wheel of the car over as hard as I could. I didn't know where I was or if I was in any danger from other drivers, but before I knew it, I was face down in a bush, heaving my guts out, losing the amazing breakfast Justin had cooked for me.

UUHHH…orange juice goes down a lot better than it comes up! My throat feels like it's torn up! It serves me right.

I was sobbing and puking at the same time, but somehow I still heard a voice behind me asking, "Hey…are you okay?"


Hey I learned something new today from my new buddy Bob. Girl horses are called mares and boy horses are called geldings.

I was wondering why Bob giggled when I'd say, "I just fed Sparkle, the girl horse there."

He just said it tickled him to hear me say it, but since I came back today, he'd be nice and correct me when I got it wrong.

I also found out that I was the brunt of a big "new guy on the job" joke. Horses don't eat out of plastic bowls. You bring the feed in a bucket and then pour it into this thing called a manger, like a holder for their food, located in the side of the walls for each horse. They eat out of THAT. No wonder they were all trying to kill me yesterday! They were trying to tell the newbie that he was doing it all wrong!

When Bob filled me in, all the other guys were laughing and clapping at the look on my face. I almost got pissed off but they were smiling at me, and each of them came up and shook my hand, saying they were sorry, and nothing personal, and welcome to the family. Word must've gotten around about my hugging phobia and I was glad of that.

I thought these guys all hated me or didn't want to be my friend. But here they were, all being so nice, telling me 'good job yesterday' and 'no hard feelin's, kid…welcome.'

What a jerk I am. I almost didn't want to come back today, and it would've been for nothing…I would've thrown away my life, Selena and Katie's respect for me, and what little dignity I had…because of a little practical hazing joke. I'm such a baby.

And Sharon gave me the last hug, saying, "My pretty one came BACK! I'm SO glad, Anthony!"

"Me too, Ma'am." I said softly, smiling down at her.

Is it wrong that I was happy she called me pretty? The other guys surely wouldn't like to be called that. I have to grow more stubble. I have to make myself look like a cowboy.

Victoria has really fucked me up. She made me feel my only worth was my pretty face and body…and now that was still with me.

"Sharon!", she corrected, "We're all family here now. No Ma'am crap!"

"Okay.", I felt myself blush a little, "Thanks."

Bob also informed me that thanks to me he won one hundred dollars. Each guy bet ten bucks that I wouldn't come back today, and Bob was the only one to bet that I WOULD. I was touched that Bob had bet on me, and now I was even more determined to do well here.

Even the horses saw all this and seemed to go a little easier on me today. Not all of them. Some were still psychotic but when I opened their stalls and carried buckets instead of bowls, they seemed to know I had been educated a bit and let me get by.

Although, Psycho still pissed on me when I opened his door. It's nice to know some things don't ever change.

"Good morning Psycho.", I said in a flat voice, going past him and dumping his feed into his trough, "I missed you, too."

Maybe I can find some rubber pants.

And I backed out, keeping my eyes on him just like yesterday.

I wonder if I'd get in trouble for putting something into his food that would put him to sleep for a few days.

I noticed a little today that most of the mares…the female horses…(see how knowledgeable I'm getting?) seemed to like me. Now that the bowls were gone, they were giving me a very nice, quiet look when I entered their little pen.

Either that, or they liked my Psycho piss cologne.

I was thinking about it last night, and I decided to try and use my experience to help me out a little here. When you think about it, these horses are not worse than the hordes of hungry women I'd glide through to serve drinks, and to serve myself to them if they wanted me. I had learned to be graceful under pressure there…how was here any different? Except that these horses were a better class than what I used to serve.

If I could make those dregs love me in New York, I could win these creatures over. I remembered all Emmett's lessons back when I was a new dancer. It was weird but most of them could work HERE for me too. My every move today I made into a sort of dance, like when I served drinks at Fire. No one else watching me could see I was really "dancing" but it was all inside me. And I did start to feel as if it were easier, I didn't feel like I was stumbling through it all, like yesterday.

As the day went on, I found myself talking to them. I warmed up to the mares first, like I said. Naturally.

"Hey Dazzle!", I smiled my best, most charming smile at a pretty white mare first, and said, "You look so pretty today! You hungry, girl? Yeaaa…good girl!"

I also discovered that they liked it when I ran my fingers through their hair, so I did that too. I recalled an older woman once stroked my hair when I was in the vampire cage…and how much I loved it. She was gentle…so I was gentle now, too. And they were responding.

I heard a couple snickers in the distance but I didn't care. All I knew is I wasn't getting bitten or kicked…at the moment anyway.

"Got something new for YOU today, Hot Gossip!", I heard myself saying to another mare a few minutes later, seeing she was getting new food this morning, "You're gonna LOVE this…awww….so sweet…eat it up, baby."

Before I left her, I even dared to whisper in her soft ear, "Hey, do you know where I can find a Slurpee machine?" Maybe she'd heard something, her NAME is hot gossip! But she didn't tell me anything. Damn!

I think the horses liked it when I spoke to them. Maybe the other guys didn't do it. I didn't hear anyone else conversing with the animals. If nothing else, it kept me cool and calm when entering the stalls. And maybe they responded to that. Bob said they smell fear and that might have made them skittish around me yesterday.

I didn't feel afraid of them today. Maybe I remembered that there are scarier things out there to fear. And the full night of sex and sleep didn't hurt me either, I'm sure.

I even tipped my hat to a horse named Selena Donna! She liked that. I could tell by the way she flipped her hair up at me and gave me a cute little girly giggle…horse style.

"Can't resist the Selenas.", I said to her, "They're my favorite!"

I figured if I won the women over, the guys would follow later. I could dream, couldn't I? Great, my big dream is a day without being pissed on.

After lunch, Bob had the radio on in the stable to hear the news. I listened as I worked, wondering if I'd hear anything about Victoria or James or any of my mess back home. But I'm glad I didn't.

I was sweating but it wasn't as bad as yesterday. Cotton is better than flannel in September here, lesson one learned.

"Masen, I'll be back in awhile.", Bob called to me, "Sharon wants me."

The other guys were out, riding some of the horses, rehearsing them for the show on Saturday. I peeked out there, seeing them running and leaping over piles of stacked up hay. That looks fun. Those horses move FAST! And I LOVED speed!

Maybe someday I'd get to do that and some other slob would be in here, shoveling horse poo.

I gave a nod to Bob and kept working, scraping the dirt out of Yoyo's hoof. Yoyo was a boy, but he was young. So I guess that makes him a colt? I'd have to ask Bob later.

I liked Yoyo, he was a sweetheart. Besides being so cute, he was also the exact color of my Selena's hair. He kept nuzzling his face into me while I tried to groom him. It actually tickled a little and I heard myself laughing a couple times.

"Are you cuddling or are you trying to taste me like your father did?", I asked with a chuckle. Apollo was Yoyo's Dad. Oh wait ! Apollo was a stallion, Bob said. He could make babies. Geldings were boys but they couldn't make babies. Hey, I'm learning!

I became aware that I was being watched like a hawk by his mother, a giant black horse named Big Momma. She was waiting for me to take one little misstep with her baby. She would be sure to leap over her stall door and murder me before I could open my mouth to scream.

"Yoyo…behave…", I smiled a little less, trying to get serious now, "Your mother's watching…you're making me look bad. Stop tickling the human."

As I washed him, I asked, "Hey, now that we're such good friends…maybe you can pass word around to all the other horses that I'm not such a dork. Tell 'em I have access to apples…and carrots."

I didn't even realize it happened but music started playing on the radio and as I brushed Yoyo in nice wide circular strokes, my body was dancing! When I did notice myself moving, I laughed to myself and Yoyo stared at me, as if to ask, 'What are you DOING there?"

"Sorry, boy.", I said to him with a smile, "You can take the dancer out of the sewer but-never mind…you won't know that expression."

"GOOD song!", I commented as the next song began. I flashed back for a second. I had danced to this song many times at the club. And my body was moving against my will, as if it was still programmed to perform. But this was not a bad thing. This was nice. I was dancing and it was actually…fun again for me. I found myself liking it…no, loving it. This is weird. I haven't danced for so long…I thought if I ever had to again, I would vomit. But it wasn't like that right now.

But then, when I was dancing onstage at the club, I wasn't within reach of the women. Sure, there were the catcalls but…it was the one time they couldn't get me. They just had to watch…and wait.

(I suck at describing dance moves, just picture like John Travolta from Stayin Alive, at the beginning…or the end. Look it up, it's HOT! This song is Let's Get Lost from Eclipse soundtrack, listen to it while you read this, it's a HOT song too !)

"Touch me I'm cold…", I sang along with the girl's sensual soft voice, "Unable to control…"

The music was hot and relaxing to me…and I was alone…I felt myself smiling as I showed Yoyo some moves.

I wasn't doing my more graphic and obscene dance steps, I did the ones that actually looked like real dancing…I couldn't help that every move I had possessed a certain sensuality to it. It was all I knew.

Yoyo watched as I took a step or two back, not wanting to spook him as I just enjoyed the moment and gave my neck a slow roll, closing my eyes and moving my hand through my hair, moving it down my chest, leaving out the crotch grab I used to do. I bucked my hips a little, my legs dancing and rocking the rest of my body left and right.

I got a little whinny of approval from Yoyo, he seemed to be envious of my mad dancing skills, wishing he could copy me.

I placed my black hat on his head and laughed, running a hand through my damp hair.

"You liking that, Yoyo?", I smiled, doing a spin and putting my arms up a bit, right near my face, my foot striking a single stomp on the cement beneath it.

I laughed and sang along to the words (something I was never allowed to do at the club).

"Touch me, I'm golden…", I sang, "As wild as the wind blows…"

I was so hot so I said to hell with it and yanked off my t shirt. No one would see.

I rolled it up playfully and tied it around my eyes as I kept dancing. I heard another horse laughing at me, that is exactly the sound it was, I'm sure of it.

But I had all their attention, I'm sure of that too.

Strange, with it on, I was more aware of my surroundings than ever. I felt safe this way and felt my body completely relax and let go, letting it do what it wanted. I was dancing….and I felt so free.

And I saw Selena…when I sang the words, "If just for tonight, darling….let's get lost."

I glided in a circle and felt a stable's metal bars behind me. I grabbed them, as if my hands were trapped there, and threw my head from side to side, my hips rolling up and down, my legs splayed out wide apart….I arched my back up and let out a breath, letting go of so much tension…then I held on with my one hand, the other one scratching its nails across my pecks, my teeth clamped tight, sneering, slightly in pain.

When the man's voice began to sing in the next verse, I yanked the shirt off my eyes and made two slashes in the air with it, as if it were a whip, the music seeming to make just those sounds.

And for once, I didn't see Victoria…didn't even think of her. I was just having fun, as if Emmett, Jazz and I were fooling around, coming up with our dance routines. It felt almost natural.

"Let me come closer," I sang with the man's voice, "I'm not your shadow…"

I'm NOT a fucking shadow anymore…I'll never let myself be that again. Enjoy your fucking death, Victoria. I'm alive…and I'm enjoying it. I'm still here, bitch!

You didn't break THIS toy.

I'm in the warm sun, dancing…living. It was like…being on the moon.

My legs easily did a full split, right down to the cement floor, and my head rested on my knee, then I pretended to pull my own hair from the back, and rose myself up, getting back on my feet as if I had really yanked my body up somehow. That move took me years to master…a trick of Emmett's that I swiped.

I spread my arms out like wings, then held them out as if I were being stretched against my will and threw my head left and right, rolling my neck. I leapt and spun in midair, landing perfectly, smiling at Yoyo as I sang "If just for tonight, my darling…let's get lost…"

Laughing, I stroked the sides of Yoyo's face, even placing a little kiss on his nose as the song came to an end.

All the horses seemed to applaud with their collective knickers and whinnies….and I took a little bow before them.

"Thank you, thank you…I'm self taught.", I joked, "And don't try that at home, I'm a professional."

It's so weird. I have incredible, deep lows…times when I loathe myself and the pain feels as if it will destroy me…and then…suddenly…I shoot upwards, like a bullet…flying…laughing…almost HIGH. I tried to remember a time when I was right in between and I couldn't. I know that's not good.

I wiped the perspiration from my neck with my shirt and I heard clapping behind me…from above.

That was enough to make me spin around towards it as if I wore wheels! My mouth gaped open as I set my eyes on Sharon, Bob, and another woman. My whole body tensed and I fumbled to get my shirt back on FAST!

There were stairs up above…metal ones that led down to the back of the stable. They had been standing up there on that platform, watching me !

Bob shook his head and gave a little laugh of nervousness, it seemed like.

"He's from New York.", I heard Bob explain, still looking at me with affection.

I opened my mouth three times to explain…but no sounds came out except hollow air.

They were coming down stairs to get closer to me. I just managed to get the goddamn shirt on as they reached the spot I was frozen in.

"God, that was utterly BEAUTIFUL!", the woman with Sharon smiled at me. She was younger, in her twenties, with long blonde hair that flowed far past her shoulders. Blue eyes, nice figure…she wore tight blue jeans and a white lacey blouse…most men would find her very attractive. But I didn't. And for just one reason.

She was looking at me like I was a piece of meat. I knew that look well. I couldn't breathe. Just when I was feeling good and at peace, ice cold water was thrown on me…and I was terrified. They saw ! They know what I am! And that's why this woman looks as if she's going to pounce on me any minute now!

"Wasn't it though?", Sharon's look upon me was different…she smiled at me but it wasn't a lust filled stare like this other girl.

"If only I were 100 years younger…", Sharon grinned at me, her eyes twinkling, "You'd be MINE!"

She touched both sides of my face as if I were a ten year old boy, and I made myself smile at her, as weak as I'm sure it was.

Did they see my scars?

"I'm sorry, Sharon…", I began, my voice still not working all the way, "I—the radio was on and…I didn't know if—"

"God, he's CUTE!", the other woman looked at Sharon and commented like I was deaf or something, "And shy, too….adorable!"

I felt like a cute sweater she was looking at off the rack.

Bob cut in and saved me.

"Er, Anthony, this is Jenna, Sharon's daughter.", Bob introduced, "Jenna, this is Anthony Masen, he started yesterday."

I put my hand out and she gave me her very manicured hand, the glossy pink nails catching my attention for a second.

I nearly kissed her hand, as I used to be required to do when meeting a lady friend of Victoria's. I shook it gently instead, not bothering to wipe off my hand first. Maybe that will turn her off. But it didn't seem to.

"Hello.", I said, still very tense, "It's nice to meet you, Jenna."

"The pleasure is ALL mine.", she said in return, and I felt my face get warmer.

"Now THAT'S what should be in our show!", Jenna motioned to me, where I'd been dancing, "Sexy, dancing cowboys! I'm so tired of watching horses do the same tricks over and over again!"

"Oh, you don't mean that.", Sharon teased her daughter, "You've just been alone too long."

I felt so cheap now when moments ago, I was having such a nice time. I thought all the horrid women were back in New York.

"And you're making the boy nervous…", Sharon told her, noticing my unease, "Stop acting like a bitch in heat!"

Jenna laughed, not taking that comment badly.

Bob was scratching his head and said, to me, "Jenna is one of the best riders in Casper County. She's the star of the rodeo."

Jenna looked at Bob as if he were a dog that did his trick as trained.

"Oh?", I asked, not sounding very impressed.

I have to be careful. I don't want to piss off Sharon here.

We all stood there in silence for a moment….then I looked at Bob helplessly.

"Well, Ant has a lot of work to do.", Bob said as I nodded, giving him a small, but very grateful smile.

"Yea, Yoyo is waiting for me…", I began to turn back to my little buddy, who was watching with keen interest.

I gave him a double take, taking my hat off his head…plunking it onto mine, hoping no one saw that. How did he keep it on his head like that?

"Maybe YOU can teach Anthony to ride!", Sharon said it as if it just occurred to her suddenly. Maybe it did. I don't think Sharon meant anything wrong by suggesting it. But I didn't like the sound of this.

She smiled at me, looking me up and down and asked, "New to equestrian activities, are you, Anthony?"

I frowned, confused, trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about.

"I don't know what that means.", I said honestly, feeling stupid, which is just what she wanted. I've played these little games before.

Bob muttered, "That's horseback riding."

"Oh!", I felt hot again, "Uh, no. I don't know how to ride horses."

"Mmmm, a virgin.", Jenna said low under her breath to almost herself but I heard it, "This just gets better and better."

I wish I could say I was gay. That usually shut women like her up. Once Emmett even came over and verified my story by putting his arm around me and kissing my cheek! I think he even rubbed his nose into my neck! At the time I was repulsed…but now it was a fond recollection.

But I can't do that here. I'll never have a male friend in this town, and after the Sir Kevin thing, I didn't want to go there.

"I'm teaching the kid to ride!", Bob saved me again and I took a breath, my eyes going back and forth between them. I feel like a doll the two of them are fighting over.

"You have a family.", Jenna reminded, "I'm sure they want you home for dinner at night. I, on the other hand, have lots of spare time."

Then she smiled at me like I was three years old and asked, with all the sugary sweetness in the world, "You'd like me to teach you, wouldn't you, Anthony?"

She is SO not talking about horseback riding lessons. I began to itch. Funny, she thought there was something SHE could teach ME. HA! That is for to LAUGH!

I looked at Sharon and hesitated.

She shrugged and grinned. "It's up to you, Anthony.", she said, "Whatever you want."

Bob looked down and kicked something softly, probably thinking I'd choose Jenna instead of him. Don't worry, Bob. I've got your back. That's another thing I learned with Emmett and Jasper. Never turn on your friends.

"No offense, Jenna," I smiled with a pleasant voice, "But Bob has been a great teacher for me so far and I'd like to stick with him. If…that's alright."

I looked at Bob and he grinned.

"Fine with me, kid.", he said, looking happy about my decision.

Jenna sighed and looked at her mother. I expected trouble but she gave none.

"Whatever.", she tried to cover her disappointment, a weak smile on her lips as she turned and began to walk away, but her eyes stayed on me, and she added softly, "But I'll be keeping an eye on YOU, little Anthony. See ya."

Sharon looked a little embarrassed, and said, "She lost her boyfriend awhile ago. She's harmless. She just gets a little…aggressive sometimes. Sorry."

I nodded and tried to look unaffected as Sharon walked off, no doubt on her way to bawl out her daughter for acting so forward.

Bob was giggling a little and I frowned at him.

"What?", I asked.

"You okay?", he asked me first.

I shrugged, acting cool. "Yea.", I said quickly, "Why?"

"Jenna's a nice girl, really.", Bob watched her small figure as it kept getting further and further away, "She's not usually so…uukkk…"

(I swear I wrote that line BEFORE I heard Rob's commentary on Eclipse…lol)

I tried not to laugh at Bob's face when he'd said that.

"She's just lonely…", he informed, "And in this town, a single woman has to be strong. She's worked her butt off to become something here. She's had it tough. Men treat her real bad most of the time. Or they're too chicken to approach her at all, thinking they don't have a shot cause she's kinda a celebrity in this town."

"Hmm..", I watched her like Bob was doing. Maybe I'd judged her too fast. Maybe she was like me…damaged. Hiding behind a mask too. Just because she made me uncomfortable didn't make her EVIL, I guess. I'd have to learn to stop comparing all women to Victoria.

"Well, get back to it, Ant.", Bob changed the subject, to my great relief, "Yoyo ain't gonna groom himself."

"Uh, Bob?" I asked, and he stopped and turned a bit towards me.

"You…", I began…then winced, looking around me…"You….saw…me dancing?"

I motioned around me, where I'd been making a damn fool of myself and he turned more towards me, crossing his arms.

"Oh, is that what that was? Yea?", he shrugged.

He had to have seen my whip marks…he had to have seen that it was not a normal kind of dance I'd been doing…would he tell people? Would he act all weird around me now?

"And…", I waited, adding…"You have nothing to…say? Or ask?"

I waited for him to judge me, to ask all kinds of things I didn't want to answer.

"It was a little weird, but I prefer line dancing myself.", he looked confused…or was he just pretending to be dumb about this.

"But—", I was about to elaborate but Bob cut me off.

"Ant!", he smirked, "It's none of my business. I'm still your friend, if that's what you're asking . All I care about is that you do your job…and do it well. So move your ass, boy."

I almost hugged the man. Even though he still insists on calling me Ant.

"Okay.", I felt a huge weight rise off my shoulders, "Thanks Bob."

"Alright.", he gave a nod and walked to the other side of the stalls, opening one and taking out a white horse with brown spots.


"I'm so embarrassed.", I admitted, sitting there in my new counselor's office; a mug of coffee in my trembling hands, "I cannot BELIEVE I did that."

I was looking at Josh, the counselor I'd met yesterday who informed me how things would be with my classes. At the time I'd been so angry and frustrated…I didn't notice how handsome he was.

(This guy is based on Josh Holloway, Sawyer from Lost…mmmm, although Justin is STILL my favorite, don't get jealous, Bieber! )

He was older than me, maybe in his mid thirties. His hair was golden blonde, parted down the middle, and fell in nice waves around his shoulders. A hint of a line was near the corner of each of his baby blue colored eyes, but it didn't show age, only experience. He had a little stubble on his face and it suited him. To complete things, his white t shirt clung to his every curve, now that he had taken off his brown leather bomber jacket and tossed it across the back of his chair.

And did I mention his voice? Wow! It was a southern accent but it wasn't off putting…it was sultry…a bad cowboy…that's the only way I can describe it.

What am I doing? I have the love of my life and here I am, mentally taking inventory of my guidance counselor. I am not well.

"Don't worry about it, darlin'.", his eyes seemed to twinkle as he talked and smiled at me, he took a swig of his own coffee cup, "Everything around here is too green, if you ask me. It needed a bit of color."

I twisted my lips up and shook my head, trying not to laugh. But when he did, I couldn't hold it in either.

This guy was a very laid back, relaxed type. I found myself very comfortable around him.

I searched for something else to say, something to get us off the topic of my hurling in the opening terraces of the school. I just knew the poor bastard that was cleaning it up now was cursing me out somewhere. Maybe he'd slash my tires or something. I couldn't blame him.

But it turns out Josh spoke first.

"I'm sorry again…", he said, his face straightening a bit, "About yesterday. About the way things turned out with your classes. I nearly got fired yesterday for screaming at the monkeys in charge. It's not fair. You should pick up where you left off."

I felt myself shrug, as if it was no big deal, when actually it was a very big one.

"It's okay.", I took a little sip of the coffee, tasting that it was way too strong for me, "I see their point. It's just…a lot of hard work went into those years. And I feel like that's all just been erased. But it won't stop me from getting what I want. I know people who've had to start all over again…and experienced worse unfairness than me. So how can I complain?"

I saw Justin's smile in my mind instantly and I felt a warm glow spread out all over the inside of my body. I miss him so much and I just got here.

Josh studied me for a minute but it didn't make me feel funny, as I usually felt under a man's stare. Not that it happened to me that often before Justin.

What Josh knew about my situation was nothing. All he knew was that I'd had to change my name, I'd moved here from New York, and my classes couldn't be transferred.

"Go ahead.", he raised a brow, his lips in a devilish little smile, "I won't tell anyone."

I gave a little chuckle at that and drank my coffee, ignoring the taste. Was I really hiding behind this cup?

"It's good for the soul to be a little selfish sometimes.", he said with a deep voice, his eyes holding mine as if they were willing me to take his advice, "Being in our field, we're so busy helping and thinking of our patients, that we can forget ourselves. Not good. You can't save anyone if you're drowning, too."

"True.", I put my cup down at last and took a deep breath, thinking of Justin. Josh was right. I was drowning in the water beside Justin…and I had unintentionally yanked him underneath it, clawing and hurting him to ease my own grief and terror. I started to think of ways I could avoid doing that in the future.

"You know, Marie…", he leaned forward a bit, his eye contact never breaking, "I know you asked me for some names, doctors. I am also a psychiatrist."

I began to make sounds, trying to find a way to politely decline his services when he spoke again.

"I know you can't actually be a patient of mine.", he said right away, sensing my dilemma, "Conflict of interest and all. I understand that. But I am your counselor. If you ever want to talk…about anything…you just have to knock."

I doubted I would be able to tell this man all about my problems, about Justin and his past…it wasn't safe. We were told not to tell anyone anything. I'm glad the marshals were coming tonight. I could ask about this.

So all I said was, "Thank you Mr. Holland."

"Josh.", He corrected me, and there was that naughty little smirk. I had to admit, while I'd never do anything about it…it was nice to look at. I bet he had lots of girlfriends. He looked like he'd be a lot of fun…as a friend. Rosalie would stalk him for weeks if she were here.

"Josh.", I smiled, feeling like a sixteen year old girl. Oh JEEZ, MARIE, get a grip! He's a teacher and your counselor! Remember James?

He was looking down at his desk now, writing something in a little scribble.

Tearing a slip of paper from a pad, he held it up between his first two fingers.

"Take a mental health day.", he ordered, "On ME."

"Oh, no I'm fine…", I began, standing up, taking this as my cue to leave and get to class.

"Now don't argue with me, Miss Brown.", he teased, his eyes stern but amused, "Go home, relax, and take care of YOU today. Doctor's orders."

I wanted to tell him he could call me Marie…as much as I hated that name. But I didn't want him to get too close to me so soon. I had to keep people at a distance. Is this what Justin's life was like before me? Was I catching his habit of not trusting anyone?

He still held up the slip and I knew I couldn't win this argument. A day to myself did sound nice. Maybe Ben and Angela went out today. Maybe I could just drive around town and explore. I couldn't help but feel guilty having a day off on my second day of school while Justin was killing himself working in the stables. Maybe I can call and check out some of those counselors.

I took the slip of paper and that pleased him. He looked up at me, that grin still in place.

"Thanks.", I felt myself blush and I wanted to die right there of humiliation.

"No problem.", he said, watching me as he leaned back in his leather chair.

"Bye.", I said, trying to make a smooth exit. But of course, I nearly slammed myself in the face with the door.

I rushed out, hearing his low chuckle in the air as he watched me leave.

Vær en del af Movellas nuFind ud a, hvad det er alle snakker om. Tilmeld dig nu og del din kreativitet og det, du brænder for
Loading ...