Stuck In Fire 2 - Justin Bieber

Justin is finally reunited with Katie.. and that's awesome. I don't know what to write, 'cause i haven't read the story o.o IT'S NOT MIIIINE. I JUST POST IT TO READ IT :P


17. 17


When I walked into Jimmy Chan's for the second time, I was ready. Selena followed me and I opened my knapsack, placing a silver bell on the empty hostess station, along with a sign that read: Please Ring Loudly – Jimmy is Deaf – and Rude.

"Justin!", Selena hissed, "You are not putting that there!"

"I'm trying to help him, Selena.", I grinned at her and began banging my palm against the silver button that made the bell ring out, I almost think it echoed as I kept slapping it down.

I heard a big crash in the kitchen and a loud "FUCK!" come out, sounding very surprised and alarmed.

"What the FUCK ?", he shouted as his head looked out as us from the open square window that was in the kitchen.

Then he recognized us as I smiled big at him. I had really missed him a lot.

"Surprise Motherfucker!", I greeted loudly, "We're baaaaccccckkkk!"

"I really have to start seeing some other people.", Selena joked quietly behind me.

"You fuckin' asshole!", he came charging out of the kitchen as I placed my hands at my sides, not moving an inch, "You just made me drop a whole wok on the fucking floor! Two hours of my time – WASTED! All because you – you fucking weirdo – like playing with BELLS!"

"Did I scare you?", I grinned more, "I'm sorry. I thought big black guys like you weren't afraid of anything. See? Another myth proven wrong."

"That'll be the day that I'm scared of YOU, Nancy Priscilla Dewdrop!", he shot back, "It was the fucking BELL! Where the HELL did that come from?"

"It's a gift from ME.", I smiled at him, "Your only customer. I thought you could use something here since your invisible hostess doesn't seem to be able to show anyone to a table. Look, I even made you a little sign to go with it!"

"What do you WANT from me, white bread?", his eyes were gleaming with hate for me. He's so cool!

I sighed loud.

"Must we explain this every time?", I asked in frustration, "See…this is a restaurant. We…(I motioned to myself and Selena) are what's called…customers. The customers come inside….like we just did…and then they sit down and order food. You…(I motioned to him) are the person who cooks the food…and then you bring it to the table, see? We eat it…and then YOU…(I motioned to him again)…get money from us (I motioned to ourselves again)…and that's the way this whole thing works. You can thank me now…I'll wait."

He looked like he wanted to lick the meat off my bones. But I knew I was doing well so far. A week without this guy was too long. I love this place!

Some time went by and he didn't say a thing. I was kind of let down by that…

"Are you in there?", I asked, looking into his eyes, tilting my head, "I didn't confuse you, did I? Did I go too fast for you? I can explain it again, slower, if you want. If you have paper, I can even draw it for you…Jimmy."

"Mothafucka!", he shouted back at me, his jaw straining.

"Yea, that's me.", I smiled, "You remembered! I know how hard it is, keeping track of all your customers. It's nice that you kept me in your mind. I have that effect on people. Once they meet me, they just can't forget about me. Have you missed me?"

"You're here to EAT…again?", he asked, as if he didn't believe it.

"Yes, Mr. Chan.", I put my hand on his shoulder like an old friend, "That's allowed. That's what's called a REGULAR customer. That's a GOOD thing. You can smile now."

He flinched my hand off his arm and grabbed menus, whipping them from their spot in the hostess stand. Then he slapped them to my chest, sneering, "Sit down 'Cilla. And you better not be as big an ass as you were the last time."

"You say the nicest things to your regulars.", I beamed back at him, taking the menus, "It just feels like home here, doesn't it, babe?"

I had asked that of Selena and she just walked past me, muttering, "Please don't bring me into this…"

"I don't think she likes you as much as I do, Jim.", I whispered to Marcus, "You know how girls are…maybe she's intimidated by your big, brown muscles."

"SIT DOWN!", he suddenly barked into my face as I had been watching him very closely while I was just speaking to him. The volume almost shoved my head backwards.

Selena had gone to the same table we were at last time and she was already sitting there, but I wanted to screw with Marcus some more.

"No, not there, honey…", I motioned for her to come with me, "Let's find a good table this time, I don't like watching cows defecate while I'm eating. You should really put a wall over this entire section, here, Jimmy. It's gross. Maybe after a few years, with the money we pay you for our dinners, you can have that taken care of."

I found a nice corner booth and thought that would be great.

"Here we go, Marie.", I said to her, smiling, helping her into the booth like a gentleman, "This is nice…and quiet, away from the crowd."

Selena gave a little chuckle but then stopped herself as I sat down, handing her a menu.

"Aaahhh.", I breathed out in relief as we settled in…Marcus was eyeing me again, worse than last time.

"Like what you see?", I asked him, puckering my lips a bit and giving him my seductive eyes.

That really got him and he looked away from me then. I had to laugh out loud.

"Just order something so I can go spit in it and make myself feel better, okay?", he demanded, giving a little grin now.

"We just sat down, Mr. Chan.", I looked at him with bewilderment, "Why don't you do your waiter thing and get us some water and those crunchy things I'll never know the name of…you know…chop chop!"

"I'm gonna pull your lungs out of your body through your goddamn NOSE!", he threatened. Selena looked nervously at me.

"Don't be like that, Jim.", I frowned slightly at him, "Is that a way to treat your best friend and loyal customers? I don't think you meant that. You're just being lazy again. Come on, go get the stuff…let's play restaurant. You be the waiter again this time. We'll be the customers."

He growled and spun around, almost running back to the kitchen. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. I was hiding my face behind my menu when Selena scolded me.

"Are you gonna be like this to him every time we come here?", she asked.

"Of course!", I wiped my right eye, "It would suck to come in here and have him be all nice to me…and polite…UKKKK! I'd be so sad. OH!"

Then I hollered into the kitchen, my hands on the sides of my mouth, "Don't forget – just ONE ice cube IN MY WATER, JIMMY!"

"Wow.", Selena just smirked at me, looking into her menu.

"Selena…", I got serious now, "Are you sure you're not mad at me?"

"I told you, Justin…", she put her menu down, "No. I understand. It must have been hard for you to run into her after all this time. I think I'd have been destroyed. I can't believe she got over it that fast."

"I don't think she's over it.", I thought aloud, "I think she was so sick of the pain that she HAD to let it go…maybe it was a relief for her. That's how I saw it. Do you think that's right? Do you think she'll be alright?"

"You're starting to sound like ME.", Selena said with a little approval in her voice, then said, "I think she'll be alright. I hope so. I don't know her as well as YOU did…"

Uh oh. That was a little zing right there.

"I heard that.", I said, looking at her sadly.


"That little bit of anger there…under the surface…'I don't know her as well as YOU DID.' That! You are mad at me."

"I'm not mad.", she argued, "It's just a little weird for me to see you hugging and kissing a perfect stranger, that's all. I'm glad Katie believed my story about her being your second cousin…I'm bad at pulling things out of thin air."


And then Marcus was coming over with a tray holding two waters and a bowl of those things.

Before he even got near us, I turned and yelled at him, "NOT NOW, JIMMY! CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE TALKING HERE? WAIT A MINUTE! YOUR TIMING SUCKS!"

And he threw the tray down to the floor, a crash of water and glass and crunchy things in a mangled pile below him. He spun around and went back to the kitchen, grumbling to himself, the words, "White trash can get his own damn water".

"Selena….", I went back to her, ignoring Jimmy's little outburst, my hand on hers, "I'm so sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry I had to see it. I never dreamed I'd run into any of my…former clients around here. But I think it happened for a reason. She was really suffering because of what I'd done to her…the only reason I'm not in a ball on the floor now is because…I really think I helped her, by telling her the truth. I thought you'd be proud of me for that. I wanted to lie to her, so badly. But I didn't. I got to apologize and hopefully…I freed her from the agony she's been feeling for the last two years. And I'm glad I opened her eyes to her mother's shit. That woman is foul. You know she offered me money to sleep with her after I was finished with Melody? UUKKK!"

"What did you say?", Selena asked me, smiling at me now.

"I told her to go fuck herself…literally.", I replied, "She wanted me to dominate her…UGGHH…(I gave a violent shiver)…I'd rather eat dog shit."

"I'm sorry Justin.", Selena said, stroking my hand now, "You were right. I'm wrong. Again. You must think you made such a mistake, thinking I was this perfect person all the time…"

"Hey…no….", I leaned in closer to her, dotting her nose with my fingertip, "You are perfect….for me. And I kinda like it when you make mistakes. It makes me feel a little bit better. No one wants to live with a saint, you know. Even when you screw up, you're adorable…and you're always MY Selena."

I kissed her and we went at that for awhile. We were almost making out there over the table…I couldn't take it anymore and felt my tongue slide into her mouth…and she whimpered, grabbing my jawbones with her little fingernails…bringing me in deeper.

I knew Marcus was standing there but I ignored him. We just kept on going…and I even moaned a little bit, because I was already tasting the most wonderful thing in the world…and finally, he cleared his throat. But I wasn't letting Selena go…and she didn't seem to hear him either.

"HEY PORNO BOY!", he finally yelled and Selena yelped, flying back into her booth corner. My lips were still in midair, puckered…and my tongue out. It was a miracle she didn't take it with her when she jerked backwards that way.

Then I slid my evil eyes towards the one who scared my baby away.

"What the FUCK do YOU WANT?", I hollered at him.

"See, this is the part of our little game where YOU (he motioned to Selena and I)…order some food so I (he motioned to himself)…can go and find a way to make it rip out your intestines when you get home tonight.", he said, fighting back now, smiling and blinking his eyes at me, "So, are we ready to order, Sir?"

"Look up timing in the dictionary when YOU get home tonight.", I jerked open my menu, "Call me if you need help looking up the big words…and yes, T is still after S when you get into it."

"Let's go, Glitter.", Marcus rushed me, "I don't have all fucking night for your dumb ass!"

"I think you do.", I shot back, "Your sign says you're open until 11pm. It's like 7pm now. So you have at least four hours to take any crap I feel like sprinkling on your very bald head!"

"Move it, Eminem!", he set his jaw, "I'm waiting."

"That's one of the job requirements when you're a WAITER, James.", I said as I perused my menu slowly, "And what happened to our water and crunchies?"

"They're over there.", he pointed out the mess on the floor a few feet away, "Enjoy."

"Huhhhh….Jimmy…Jimmy…Jimmy…", I said lowly, in disappointment, "This restaurant thing just keeps eluding you…"

Selena said, "I'll have the What's Your Beef Platter and the Broccoli in Human Waste Sauce please…and a coke…"

Marcus didn't write anything down….he just looked back at me then.

I took my sweet time again…clucking my tongue as I looked at everything on the menu…twice.

"You should really add a Motherfucker Special to this menu.", I suggested, "I would love to see what that would taste like…"

Marcus just looked up and seemed to be praying for strength, his fists almost bursting at his sides.

"The Burn your Tongue Platter I had last time didn't really burn my tongue, so…I don't want that again.", I thought out loud, very slowly…"What do you suggest, Mr. Chan?"

"That you move your ass and order before I twist your little white boy head and N'Sync hairdo right off your fucking shoulders!", he snarled.

Selena laughed at that one…and I smirked at her.

"N'Sync!", I huffed in annoyance…"Like YOU know N'Sync! You probably like those rappers like 75 CENTS or Snoopy Doggy Dog. I dig that. They're CHILLIN'!"

Selena hid her face behind her menu now, giggling.

"Damn it!", Marcus shouted at me, "You're pissing me off again Pinocchio!"

"Well, if you can name me ONE N'Sync song, I'll eat your HAIR!", I challenged…then added, "Oh, sorry, someone already beat me to it."

"75 Cents…", Selena was still laughing to herself…unable to say much at all now.

"Are you gonna order some GOD DAMN food?", he shouted.

"I will, I will…relax!", I made my voice go high pitched, sighing, "You're SO impatient!"

I looked over everything again and said, "Okay….first, I'll have a cherry coke. That's for sure. And can I have plenty of ice in that, too?"

"Cocksucking-motherfucking-asshole licking-blew his father and swallowed it—and loved it—son of a bitch!", Marcus sneered to himself as I tried to choose a meal.

"Was that Chinese?", I smiled at him, "Did you just bless us and wish us well in the future? That was so beautiful sounding, wasn't it, babe?"

"Very.", she grinned, not making eye contact with Marcus.

"What's this – the Overpriced Happy Family Platter?", I asked, "What's that?"

With a sigh, Marcus replied with no hesitation at all.

"Scallops, crabmeat, and psychotropic mushrooms sautéed with fresh white boy thumbs and served in a Sealy posturepedic mattress.", he stated.

"Oooh, yummy.", I smiled, "I'll have that. I can take some home to my daughter. She loves Chinese food."

"You have a daughter.", he glared at me, "How the hell did that happen?"

"Well…", I folded my hands, "I don't know if you're ready to hear about this, but….when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

"Fuck YOU!", he shot back, cutting me off, "Like YOU could tell ME about fucking! The only thing you know that I don't is how it feels from the BACK!"

I wish he would stop with those jokes…but he didn't know. It's not his fault. I still love him. But I had to change the subject fast.

Selena looked at me sadly, as if about to tear Marcus' head off, but I winked at her.

"Hey, Jim.", I asked, smiling, "When you had hair, was it an afro? Or was it like…corn rolls…like Stevie Wonder's? Or maybe dreadlocks?"

"I'm getting your shit.", he grabbed a towel off his shoulder and swung it in the air as he turned to get back to the kitchen, "God knows I don't want you in here a second longer than you HAVE to be, you fucking WEIRDO!"

"Wow.", I laughed when he was gone, "This is even more fun than last time."

"Are you okay?", she asked, touching my hand, "That was really mean, what he said…"

"It's all in fun.", I shrugged, "He doesn't mean anything by it. He doesn't know."

"I love you.", she smiled at me, "Did I tell you that in the last five minutes?"

"You tell me every second, baby.", I kissed her hand on mine, laying my cheek down on her knuckles, "And I love hearing it."

She stroked my hair as I closed my eyes and rested for a minute. Today had been a long, rough one…and I was glad that we'd be seeing Dr. F soon. Locked in the trunk of the car, was my notebook full of Sir Kevin stories. I had completed it, the whole thing, as fucked up a book as was ever created. But it was done. And I felt great about that. I was finished and would never have to think of it again. Peter would read it, probably after I left his office tonight, and it wouldn't have to be discussed again. I could move on and never be in that dungeon with him again. I was ecstatic…and exhausted at the same time.

I loved the way she was caressing me…so soft…so quietly…I drifted off slowly…not wanting to ever leave this spot…the oriental music played so lightly and gently in the background…it almost made me see the bonsai trees in the mist…water…a small paper house in the distant hills.

"Oh, fuck, is he dead?", Marcus' voice cut in as I saw his face in the middle of my oriental fantasy, "Tell me I got my Christmas wish early and he fucking croaked right on my table!"

I opened my eyes and squinted, hearing Selena say, "Sorry, Jimmy, he's alive."

I looked at Marcus, still trying to focus when she added, "At least until he eats the food."

I smiled at Selena, saying, "That was a good one…thanks babe."

"I'm here all week.", she joked and I smiled up at Marcus. He wasn't laughing. He was holding a tray full of food.

"You interrupted my dream, CHAN!", I scowled at him.

"Sorry, I hate when people wake me up right when Mel Gibson's dick is about to insert into MY ASS too.", he shot back.

"You have that one, too?", I asked, letting him toss the plates down in front of me, "Wow! We are like…brothers."

"Shut the fuck up, and get out of the way so I can put the fucking food down, willya, PRISS?", he asked grumpily, passing everything out.

"My Mom used to say the same thing to me when she served me dinner.", I said with a sugary sweet tone, smiling at him again, "Can I call you Momma?"

Selena liked that one and giggled again, almost snorting out her soda.

"Can I call you assface?"

"You always do.", I replied, "Oh, and my wife needs a fork. She doesn't like your chopsticks. They're so…thin and skinny…she prefers long and thick…like her man, you know…"

"In your fucking dreams.", Marcus sneered, "No one gets a fork here. This is a Chinese restaurant, asshole. Live with it."

"I thought you'd say that.", I went into my knapsack and took out a big handful of silverware, putting it in the middle of the table, "Here you go, sweetie."

"Thanks Eduardo.", she commented, taking her fork and knife, even a spoon.

"I think I'll use a knife and fork, too.", I took them and held them in my hands, "You never know where those chopsticks have been."

"Give me those!", he got so mad he tried to grab my utensils out of my hands!

But I was quicker and I kept moving my hands out of the way so he couldn't grab them…I almost thought he was considering crawling into the booth and sitting on me to try and get them…but he restrained himself.

"FUCK!", he finally gave up, unable to steal my silverware, "FINE! KEEP IT! Every time you eat Chinese food with a fork and knife is another year in HELL, white boy! Don't forget that when you're frying!"

"I've done Hell.", I took a bite of my food while I spoke, "They asked me to leave, it didn't scare me that much."

"Eat….try not to choke on anything…and then get the fuck out!", he thumbed behind him towards the door, "And this time, stay out! I don't want this place to become some kind of FAG white boy hangout!"

"That's all this town has!", I said as he was about to walk away, "I never see no brothers around. This must be like an alien planet for you, living here. You're the only one of your kind. You're like…Superman…only you're black and bald…and you can't fly…and don't have any super powers…I guess you're not really like Superman at all, now that I think of it…"

"Like I said…don't choke.", he glared back at me, "Cause if I hear it, I'll just be in the kitchen, dancing a little happy dance! You can give yourself the fuckin' Heimlich!"

"There's another procedure you can perform on yourself, Jimmy!", I shouted after him, "But I'm sure you know all about that, every night back there!"

"Alright, alright.", Selena eased me back down to a sitting position, "Just relax and eat your food….we both have an appointment tonight."

"I think I'm winning tonight.", I said to Selena as I ate and eyed the kitchen from here, "What do you think?"

"We're eating here.", Selena said, "We're all losers."

"Oh, wait.", I went into my bag, remembering my props. I took out a DO NOT DISTURB sign and a roll of tape, and began sticking the string to the sign on the table.

"You are losing your mind, white boy.", Selena smiled, taking a bite of her broccoli.

"He loves this.", I assured her.

Later, as we enjoyed our food, I asked Selena, "Are you nervous? About your appointment? I know I was the first time."

"Not much…maybe a little…", she said as she chewed, "I really like the doctor, so I think I'll be alright."

"He is very cool.", I told her again, "He even moved our appointment to the patio because I was a little nervous in his office. And he does the tape recorder thing, too…just like my favorite Dr. Selena."

"Oh man, you do the tape recorder with him?", she asked, teasing, "I'm hurt…deep down, I'm hurt…you cheated on me!"

"I'm sorry, Selena…", I joked right back, eating as I talked, "But I can't help it…Peter's tape recorder is flashier than yours…I was reduced!"

She giggled and tried to hit me with her napkin while I laughed and ate a little drumstick from my huge family platter. Damn, it was so good. This guy can COOK! I guess it's the one good thing he CAN do…besides bust balls, that is.

"Ugh…that's it!", she replied with no emotion, "It's over. I can't compete with Peter and his fancy equipment!"

"Hey, don't say that, Selena.", I teased back, "There's no reason we all can't session together all in one room. We're all adults. It'll be a threesome!"

"Oooh, kinky!", she laughed, "I'm in!"

"I love it when you laugh, Selena.", I smiled at her, my eyes adoring her little face, "That's why I think I do such goofy things lately. I just want to keep you smiling and laughing…just like this, always. I know life with me hasn't been all fun and games. I'm sorry. I'm working on it."

"Only you could make me laugh with all that's going on around us all the time.", she said, taking a sip of her straw, "You're my funny little boy…that I wuv sooo much…"

"Thanks, Mommy.", I smiled back at her, "I wuv u toooo."

"Eat your vegetables.", she snapped back, like a real mom.

"But I DONNNNTTT WANNNAAAA!", I whined like a brat, "I HATE 'EM! And Jimmy Chan is UGLY! He scares me!"

"Eat those all, Mister, or you'll be sorry!", she pointed her fork to my veggies.

I pouted and stuck my bottom lip out, giving her the eyes.

"Oh God, stop that.", Selena looked away, covering her eyes, "You know I can't take THAT face!"

I kept doing it for a minute just to tease her but then I saw she had juicy brown sauce on her fingertips. I gently took her hand and brought it to my lips…gently sucking on each fingertip…my tongue slipping out to taste also…

"Oh my dear Lord.", Selena whispered…watching me taste her as I closed my eyes.

"Mmmm….", I stared back at her with lust in my eyes, "You are SO delicious…"

Her eyes melted and she scooted closer to me little by little as I kept licking the sauce off of her. Before I knew it, she was practically in my lap.

"My baby girl…", I purred thickly in my throat as I smeared some of the sauce onto her lower neck area…"Awww…you got sauce on your neck…I'll get it."

She squealed out, giggling as I dived in there to lick it off. I even think she's putting up a little fight, too, clawing at my shirt and hair as I lapped up the sweet juice.

"Don't fight with me, Selena…", I demanded, taking a firm bite where the sauce was, "You can't win against a vampire."

She screamed out a little, laughing and then breathing heavier as I sucked her skin….her resistance waned slowly…and then she was just putty in my hands…I pulled her shirt down a little more and saw cleavage, my other hand dipping in the sauce so I could rub some of it down there…

"Don't mess up my shirt, we have somewhere to go soon!", she tried to argue.

"I'll mess up your shirt…", I took the little jar of sauce and acted like I'd pour it into her blouse…and she giggled and screeched, trying to grab my wrist.

"No, Justin, NO!", she couldn't stop laughing, "Justin, BEHAVE! We're in a friggin' restaurant!"

"I don't care.", I dripped some of it into her breasts as she squealed out for a second, "I'll molest you anywhere I want to, is that clear, young lady?"

"Yes, yes!", she finally gave in, "It's CLEAR!"

"Good.", I put the sauce down and dove my face into those nice round breast tops…tasting that great sauce…hearing her laugh…it was the best part of my whole week!

"Get out of there, Mister!", she panted and giggled, "He's gonna come BACK!"

"So?", I asked, licking her, "What the fuck do I care about HIM? He's just jealous that you're all MINE!"

I dove in again, trying to undo that god damned bra of hers that I forbid her to wear…and I heard Jimmy over there clearing his throat, waiting for us to stop. But I didn't want to. For once, me and my baby were having fun…and I didn't want anything ruining it.

"No, Justin, NO!", she struggled, laughing, "Don't undo it! We're in PUBLIC!"

"I don't care….what did I say about bras?", I asked her, nose to nose with her, "What did I say?"

"HEY!", Marcus shouted, "In about two seconds, I'm throwing ice water on you two!"

"Stop!", Selena shoved me off, hearing that he was there now, "STOP…go over there…let GO!"

I released the bra and let it snap against her skin as she yelped, adjusting herself as I reluctantly slid away from her, eyeing Marcus.

"What the fuck is your problem, Hand Job?", Marcus frowned at me, "I keep telling you this is a fucking restaurant, you eat the food, not the girl! If you're horny, take her out to your little car and make it rock back and forth. Not that you two could really DO anything in that little ass car!"

"Didn't you see my sign?", I asked, hoping he did.

"Oh, yea, your sign…", Marcus smiled down at it, then yanked it off the table, tore it up into little pieces and sprinkled them over my head. I sat there, staring him down….and then he took the string with the tape on it and stuck it on my forehead, the string hung down my nose.

"There's your sign, Sir.", he grinned, his hands behind his back now, "Anything else?"

"Yes.", I held up my glass of soda, "What the fuck is THIS? You filled the glass so full of ice cubes, there's no room for any cherry coke IN THERE! I can't even get a straw in here!"

"You said plenty of ice.", he informed, "Careful what you wish for…"

"I wish for less ice and more soda, JEEVES!", I nicknamed at the last second, slamming my glass down.

"Well, you can wish in one hand…and shit in the other…and see which hand gets filled first.", Marcus replied, "But I think I can help you out a little…"

I thought he'd pick the ice cubes out like before but he didn't. This time, he tossed the glass at ME and the ice flew into my lap! Where was the ice when I needed it backstage at the play earlier?

"That should cool you off, Casanova!", Marcus commented as I growled and half stood, brushing the ice cubes off my pants.

"Ohhh, if I had my water pistol…", I shot back, "You'd be SO dead right now!"

"Alright, alright, children!", Selena eased me back into my seat, "This is getting a little out of hand now…let's stop…"

"Bring it ON, CLAY!", Marcus shouted back at me.

A little while later, I looked down at my white t shirt filled with cherry coke. It was still sticking to me! I'm glad I had Selena's soda to throw back at Jimmy when he poured that pitcher of it on me.

"Are you still pouting?", Selena asked, "Stop. You both got each other. He's wet and sticky too! And now I have to explain why you're all messed up when we get to Peter's office. You should talk about your need to taunt this guy every weekend, that might be something for both of you to take a look at."

"I didn't have enough soda.", I grumped out loud, "He had a lot more. I lost that round! And I was doing so well until then…"

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't get a gallon of coke when I ordered.", she apologized…but I think she's being sarcastic.

"Now I don't have a drink, either.", Selena complained, "And he won't give us another one."

I rolled my eyes and pretended not to hear that.

"Your hair looks drier.", she offered…but I just shot her a little glare.

"You're not making me feel better, Selena.", I informed, taking a swig of my glass of ice, getting a little trickle of ice water out of it. Somehow, though, I'm still thirsty.

"I wonder if Dr. F. will have another Slurpee there for me tonight.", I pondered aloud, looking towards the kitchen, just waiting for him to make another move.

"Ugh!", Selena sighed, "He was so cool to give you one last week, and you're going to expect it every time now? He's a doctor, Justin, not a 7-11."

"I know.", I said, trying to think of a great revenge for Marcus' pouring a pitcher of soda over my head. Maybe I can tie him to one of those cows outside. Nah, that would be cruel. For the cows. Hey, I know! I can set him up with Jenna! Oooooh…nice!

Several times I thought to bring up the Jenna situation, as I was calling it now. But I didn't want to put any more shit on Selena. With the marshals, the trial, the request to be tied up…Melody…Katie…I knew if I laid one more thing onto her shoulders, she would snap. I had to start trying to take worries OFF her mind, not the other way around. Besides, it's not like I'm attracted to Jenna. She's just an annoyance, nothing more. I can handle it myself. Maybe I will tell Bob about it. I don't want to be a whiner, though. And I don't want to fuck up my job.

I hate to think it, but things were sure easier when I was just a slut chained up and gagged. My only worry was how long can I fuck and how hard do they want it. Real life is much harder. But I know it's worth it. I have Katie. I have Selena.

We were waiting for our desert and unfortunate cookies. I knew Marcus would have something even more brilliant written in those. Damn.

He was coming over now, bringing chocolate ice cream with hot fudge on it. Right away, I noticed something was wrong.

"Hey Jimmy!", I complained, "How come she has sprinkles and I don't?"

"Cause I like her.", he answered back, letting my bowl hit the table hard in front of me, "You I hate."

"You don't mean that.", I smiled up at him, "I know you love me. I've seen the way you look at me from that kitchen window. Don't deny it."

"Just stop bitching about your damn sprinkles and eat it, then get the fuck out!", he huffed, walking away, swinging his arms like a big hostile gorilla.

But I still love him. Even if he hates me for the moment.

"I'm gonna make that guy love me.", I informed Selena, taking my spoon and stealing some of her sprinkles, "Just watch."

"HEY!", she squealed, trying to stop me from robbing her bowl, "Those are mine!"

"You won't share with me?", I asked her with my mouth open.

"Fine.", she scooped some out of her bowl and flung them into mine.

"Women…you're so selfish…", I teased, and she shot me a very dirty look.

"I'm kidding!", I put my hands up, smiling at her, "See? I'm smiling."

"Yea…", she grumbled, eating her ice cream, muttering, "Sprinkle thief…"

"So…can I ask you a couple things?", Selena asked, her eyes down in her bowl.

"Sure, ask me anything.", I shrugged, having nothing to hide.

"That girl…Melody..", she began carefully, "She really loved you. I saw that in her eyes. The two of you…must have had a lot of time together."

She wanted to know more about our story. I knew she was hurt, deep down. But she covered it well.

"We were together for about a month.", I said, swallowing the cool cream, licking my lips, "Her mother wanted me to pretend to be a soldier, I guess so I'd have an excuse to leave suddenly. You should've seen me in that outfit, the camouflage…the boots…the sunglasses…"

"Okay, I got the picture of the outfit.", she smirked, taking a bite of her ice cream.

She waited a moment and then asked, softly, "It sounds like you two had a very intense love story…did you love her? It's alright, you can say it. It was before me."

I swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I liked her.", I replied honestly, "She was a very nice girl, pretty, and smart. She was good to me, affectionate, a real sweetheart to everyone she knew. She knew music…we had that in common in the beginning.

She's a great singer. I can't believe I almost forgot her voice. We had a lot of fun…everything around me said I should have fallen in love with her. But I just didn't. I was so afraid that I was becoming something hard and unfeeling, like a rock…a machine, Emmett once called me.

I was becoming a robot, playing whatever part they told me to. No regret, no remorse…no thought to what her life would be when I left. I was horrible to do that to her. I really hurt her, after she gave her heart to me…gave everything to me.

She waited for me, after I had to go off to my fake war, while I was really dancing naked in that club. She wrote to me, she even thought I had died…but she still waited. It's times like this that make me hate myself…this is where my self loathing comes from that you don't like so much. I wish I could just take it off, like a coat…but I can't. I may be the victim in some things, but in others, I am the villain. I did that to Melody…for money. Fucking money. I can never say I'm sorry enough.

But, no, I didn't love her…not like the way I love you. I loved her like a friend, I guess. I did miss her for a few days after I went back home. But I went on to another client, another game…I made my mind erase things after they were over. I wouldn't have survived it if I didn't. I didn't let myself get attached. It was a rule of mine."

"But why did you let yourself get attached to me, then?", she asked, her eyes full of understanding and patience, "What made it different with me?"

"I don't know.", I thought about it, "I just knew when I touched you that you were rare…like what I told Katie…about people who come and go…and then forever people…you just felt like forever to me. You still do. You always will. I don't know why God decided to melt my heart just when you came along, but I'm glad he did. I would've never wanted to hurt you like I did those other girls."

"Were you planning on that?", she asked me, not taking her eyes off mine.

"In the beginning…", I looked down, feeling such shame, "Yes. I planned on leaving after the two weeks like a complete asshole, saying, thanks, it was fun…but it's over now. I wanted you to stay away from Fire and me and Victoria forever afterwards. Victoria threatened to hurt you if she caught me with you again after the job was done. She even said that I would no longer be working with young, pretty girls anymore. It was going to be older women from now on. I was fine with that. I didn't want anymore innocent girls to cry over me ever again."

She didn't say anything…and I couldn't even look at her.

"Told you I had an ugly side.", I looked down at my melting ice cream, "There are still a lot of things…I can't talk about…that you don't know. I want to tell you…but…I just can't…not yet."

"We all have an ugly side.", she slid over and sat beside me in the booth, holding my hand, "You should hear some of the thoughts I've had about Sir Kevin and Victoria lately. It's very ugly, let me tell you."

"Selena…", I looked at her now, "Our love story is REAL. I was acting at first…but I hope you know that I am not pretending to love YOU. I do. And it's the best…and most terrifying time of my life. But it's no act. I am completely in love with you."

She kissed me and held me close, whispering, "I know."

She kissed me a second time and smiled at me, then went to finish her ice cream.

"Hey.", I nudged her.


"Don't you want to say something?"

"Like what?"

"Like…you love me too.", I reminded her.

"Nope.", she said, "I changed my mind. You stole more than half my sprinkles. That I can't forgive."

She smirked at me and we started laughing like idiots.

"I'll steal something from you…gimme that bra!", I growled, pouncing on her and putting my claw down her blouse.

"NO!", she squealed out again, giggling and struggling with me again.

"I'll bite it off, I don't need my HANDS!", I laughed, plunging my face back into her shirt as she screamed out, squirming underneath me. I got hard right then.

"Justin, Justin STOP!", she laughed and yelled at the same time, "You're biting my BOOB!"

I was hysterical just hearing her say it that way…and I could hardly keep attacking her.

Then, suddenly, a whoosh of ice cold fucking water poured down on us…and went right into Selena's blouse.

She screamed a shrill cry and I turned my head to see my new best friend, Marcus, standing there, an empty pitcher in his hand, and a huge smile on his face while we dripped, soaked through.

"I DID warn you.", Marcus turned and walked away from us…laughing loudly to himself. His laugh was deep and purely wicked…and kinda like Eddie Murphy's laugh.

"He's a dead man!", I bolted up but Selena grabbed my arm as hard as she could.

"Justin, no!", she begged, "NO! His right arm is bigger than you! Please don't!"

"Size doesn't matter.", I growled, trying to get up again, "I know how to fight dirty, street fighting! He won't even FEEL it when he goes down!"

"Justin, no!", she grabbed my cold, wet shirt, "We have to keep a low profile. If we get arrested, the marshals will kill us! We're supposed to be blending in…being nice, quiet country folk."

"Cowboys beat up assholes all the time!", I argued, still looking at the kitchen, wanting his ass, "I'll be blending in!"

I don't know how but before I knew it, we were standing at Dr. Facinelli's door, soaking wet and Selena was nicely asking for a couple of towels.

Of course, Dr. Facinelli was wearing his hat. This one was a gray castle with flames and a green dragon rising up out of it, looking like it was about to blow fire at US. I had to admit, that's another cool one.

"Yea, sure, come on in.", Peter looked at us quizzically, keeping his hat on as he walked down another hallway, "Is it raining out?"

"No.", I said in frustration, "We got water thrown on us by Jimmy Chan! Wait til I go back there…I'm gonna be so ready for him next time…"

"Next time?", Selena asked loudly, "No, sorry, there's not gonna be a NEXT TIME! I refuse to wear a raincoat while we're eating Chinese food in there next week. That's how I feel!"

Peter looked at us like we were nuts. And he's a psychologist!

"We have to go back there, Selena.", I said as Peter handed me a large black towel, then a white one to Selena, "It's still a great place…and I still love Marcus. He's amazing! I'm just mad that he won this time! And he refused to give us our unfortunate cookies too! That stung."

Peter listened to us and he looked confused.

"Doctor," Selena dried her hair with her towel, "The first thing I'd talk about with him tonight is his obsession with this Jimmy Chan guy…it's really starting to concern me."

"His name isn't Jimmy Chan.", I corrected her, "It's Marcus Evans. He's my new friend."

"He is NOT your FRIEND!", Selena shouted, "He threw soda on you…and poured ice water on US! He's a psycho who runs a Chinese restaurant and I'm thinking of calling the cops to see if there's any missing people in this town! I'll bet every person who ever wandered in there is still in his kitchen, in JARS! We could be next!"

"Oh, now you're just being silly.", I wiped my face with my towel, but it didn't get rid of the stickiness there.

Once we finally got Selena calmed down and settled back into Peter's living room, he asked me if I'd like to try talking in his office this time.

"Yes, okay.", I agreed, since he'd been so great to me last time. I carried my knapsack with me, the notebook inside it. It almost felt like it weighed a thousand pounds as we walked there, when Peter turned on the light inside…it was still that soft, comforting light. I was glad. I hate white light. Soft, dark rooms had been my world before. I still was stunned by the light of the sunshine everyday…it was magical to me.

And, I smiled when I saw the single slurpee sitting there by the sofa…waiting for me.

"Again?", I asked, grinning like a moron.

"If two dollar slurpees set your mind at ease before we begin, it's an investment well made, I'd say.", Peter smiled, taking his hat off and setting it on a hook in the wall, "Drink…take your shoes off…relax…"

And so I did. Dr. F. was easy to hang out with and I found myself telling him the story of Jimmy Chan's and Marcus…and how we got wet. He laughed and listened…I felt like I was talking to Emmett for a minute, except the doctor didn't make any disgusting remarks about Selena's wet t-shirt. God, I miss Emmett.

"Interesting.", he looked to the right for a second while I drank my Slurpee, "Public displays of affection…that doesn't bother you?"

"No.", I grinned, "I like it. It's exciting for me. And I wouldn't call Jimmy Chan's place public. We're the only two people who're ever in there! It's a ghost town in that place!"

"Hmm.", he said, thinking to himself. I didn't ask him what he was thinking. I was afraid to know.

Soon after that, we began our session. I was sitting in the wooden chair across his desk and he was sitting there, his hands folded. And right away I felt like a kid in the principal's office.

I didn't want the couch, though. I didn't like the idea of laying down next to Peter yet. Or any guy for that matter.

"What's wrong?", Peter asked, just like last time.

"It's this desk.", I waved a hand at it, "It's so…in between us…and I feel like a kid when I used to get summoned to the dean's office, which was a lot."

"Come on.", Peter stood up and slapped his chair, offering it to me, "You sit here…I'll sit in your chair. How's that?"

I am such a pain in the ass. This guy is so patient.

"I'm sorry, Doc.", I stood slowly, "I don't mean to be such an ass pain."

"Ugh, you're not.", he waved a hand at me, "It's good for a doctor to sit in his patient's place sometimes. This way my head doesn't get too big."

"Right.", I grinned, going towards his chair, "You'd have to buy new hats."

"Exactly!", he pointed at me and I laughed, liking this guy more and more. I wonder if he could be my friend…is that allowed?

I sat down in the doctor's big chair and looked around…

"So this is how it feels to be a doctor, huh?", I asked, biting my bottom lip, letting myself spin once in the chair.

Peter laughed and answered, "Not as glamorous as it looks, is it?"

"It's pretty cool.", I assured him, looking around his desk, "You have a bitching desk…"

"Bitching…", he chuckled, his hands behind his head, "I haven't heard that one since the eighties."

"I like to keep the classics alive.", I put my towel in my lap, noticing a picture to my right.

"Wow…what a beautiful girl.", I looked at it and a supermodel with blonde hair was looking back at me. It was just a shot of her eyes and face…she was smiling a little…and what love in her eyes…her hair looked so soft, blowing over her right eye a bit.

"Who is that?", I asked, still looking.

Peter stood up quickly and grabbed it off the desk, putting it face down on a shelf to his right hand side.

"My wife.", he said, his eyes not looking at mine, "Sorry. I don't want it distracting you during our session."

"It won't.", I smiled, "She's gorgeous. See, it IS cool being a great doctor! You have HER."

"Yea.", Peter sat down and started to speak but I cut him off.

"Where is she?", I asked, "I've never seen her around HERE. Does she work at night or something?"

"Something like that…", he said, "She's out of town for awhile. Her work takes her all around."

"What does she do?"

"Anthony…this is your session, not mine.", he said and that surprised me. His voice wasn't rude but…it was tight. I never heard him like that before.

"Alright, Doc, Jeez!", I put my hands up, "I'm not looking for a date, I'm just nervous, trying to make a little conversation."

"I know, I'm sorry Anthony.", Peter's voice was back to its nice, friendly tone again, just like that. I was relieved. I didn't really blame him. I'm the same way when it comes to my Selena.

"No problem.", I shrugged, smiling back at him.

"So…let's begin, shall we?", he asked.


"How did it go…with your homework?", Peter asked.

Oh yea. My homework.

"It was hard.", I admitted, "Damn hard, actually. I almost wasn't going to do it. But then Selena pulled away from me and it scared the fuck out of me. I started writing that night you assigned it. I finished it."

"Good.", Peter looked really proud of me as he said that, "Do you have it with you?"

"Yea.", I took it out of my bag and handed it to him, not even looking at the notebook. It was almost like an ugly reminder to me now, just the sight of this blue fucking book made me break out in a sweat, "Here. Enjoy. I'm just so glad it's over."

"Over?", Peter asked me and I looked at him as he just stared back at me and the book I was still holding out to him.

"Yea.", I furrowed my brow, "I did the assignment. I wrote it all down. I'm done."

"Anthony…", Peter paused and looked at me with concerned eyes, "I'm sorry that you thought that…but it's not over. We're just beginning. It's good that you wrote all those painful memories down…it's a great achievement and I'm very proud of you. But that's just step one."

I was still sitting there, holding the damned notebook in my hand, my arm reached out to him….when he said, "Now I want you to open that notebook…and read it to me."

And in that moment, I felt like he stuck a knife into my chest. I felt my hand shivering, and the book with it…and a huge lump formed in my throat…and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Out loud?" I heard myself yell in disbelief.

"Anthony…", the Doc said to me in his very calm voice, "Don't panic. You can do this. We'll take it a little bit at a time."

"No!", I shook my head as tears sprung to my eyes, "I can't, I can't! I cannot read this out loud. No fucking way!"

And in a split second, I was on my feet and enraged.

"Do you know how long I spent writing that fucking thing?", I shouted at Peter, throwing the notebook to the floor at his feet, "How many times I threw up while I was writing it? I had to stick my face in the pillow so my nine year old daughter wouldn't hear me crying from the next room! I didn't skip a god damned SECOND of that fucked up day and now you just tell me to READ it OUT LOUD, like it's some fucking essay I wrote about TREES or something! Fuck you! YOU read it out loud!"

I bolted to the door to get out but Peter jumped up to stop me. All I knew was a man's hands were holding my arm and I spun around, hurling him off, bellowing, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

And when the smoke cleared, Peter was on the floor, on his back, looking up at me with sadness all over his face. But he didn't look afraid of me. Or angry.

"I'm sorry Anthony, don't go!", Peter held a hand up, hoping that would slow me down from running, "I know this is a hard thing I'm asking of you. I know that. I understand what you're feeling….but—"

"You don't understand how I feel!", I yelled back at him, "Have you ever been chained up like a fucking animal and raped for twelve hours by a strange man? Have you ever screamed and not have anyone give a fuck? Have you ever cried out and had someone duct tape your mouth shut so you wouldn't ruin their hard on? You don't know SHIT about how I feel!"

I stood over Peter, waiting for him to say something…anything. But he just waited…and looked at me like he knew how much I had suffered…and that he was hurt by it too. How does he do that?

"I know.", he finally said, "I haven't been there where you were. I don't claim to know what those things feel like. I can't begin to imagine. But Anthony, I do know about pain. And loss. I have screamed out and had no one hear. I've seen some things in my time. I didn't get it all from books, believe me. Please stay. Let's talk about it some more. You don't have to read it yet. But, Anthony…you do have to read it sometime. Have you ever been scared of a horror movie?"


"Have you ever been scared of a horror movie?" he repeated, still sitting on the floor.

"Yea.", I frowned, confused, "Psycho. Joseph had it on one night and I got up and went into his room. It was right at the shower scene part…I nearly had a heart attack. I didn't shower until I was fourteen."

"How old were you? When you first saw Psycho?"

"Four.", I guessed.

"Are you afraid of it now?"

"No.", I replied, "Joseph loves that movie. When I got older, we'd watch it every Halloween together. It was funny then. I knew it wasn't real."

"You watched it over and over…", Peter stated, "And the more you watched it, the less frightening it became. Right?"

"Yea.", I said, "So what?"

Peter picked up the notebook and handed it to me.

"This is your new horror movie, Anthony.", he informed, "The thing that haunts your nightmares…even when you're awake. You will read this, and read it again…and again…and again…and one day…believe it or not…you won't have any trouble reading it at all. It won't totally erase the pain of those memories…or make them any less real…but, Anthony…it will get easier. And then there's the stuck points to explore."

"Stuck points?"

"Yes.", Peter started to rise and I gave him my hand to help him stand, "The stuck points…are places you are going to stop reading…and hurt…and want to give up. When that happens, we will talk about it and find out why they are your stuck points. We will get to the bottom of every feeling…every fear…we'll take a good deep look at them…and then kill them all…one by one. It will take time. And some of the pain will never go away. It's part of you now, like it or not. But eventually, it will heal…not completely, of course…but…it will be something you can live with…think about from time to time…learn from it…maybe even someday…talk about with others who are new to their own horror movie, like you are now. This pain, this experience in this book, can kill you…or it can make you stronger. It's up to you. I see you are a fighter. That's why I chose this treatment for you. I know you can do it."

He was still holding the book and I looked at it…and then him.

"Why did you have me write all this down?", I asked quietly, ashamed of how I'd pushed him to the floor, "If you wanted me to talk about it, you could've just asked me."

"Writing is better.", Peter said, "People give more detail when they write, instead of talk. And if you read the same words, over and over again…it will become easier and easier…in time. And someday, before you know it, I'll be asking you to write about it all again…only this time, I'll bet the words will be different. There will be no self blame, no guilt…I'll bet there will be a stronger voice speaking on that day…and it won't be a story about a victim named Anthony. It'll be a story about a sick bastard whose destiny is to burn in Hell for all eternity. And the end will be about how he didn't break you…and how you survived."

"Man.", I finally said after he finished, "You sure are a great talker, Doc. I'll give you that."

"I don't have to be a great talker, Anthony.", Peter said, "I'm telling you the truth. The words aren't mine…I'm just sharing them with you. And maybe someday, you'll share them with someone else too."

"Give me that fucking book.", I said, taking it out of his hand and sitting back in his chair while he took the one across from me and the desk.

I looked at the cover and took a very deep breath, my fingers almost afraid to touch it, like it would burn if I did.

"I don't know how much of this I can really read.", I warned him, "But I'll try it…okay?"

"That's all I ask, Anthony.", Peter said, and folded his hands, putting his head against his fingers, closing his eyes like he was preparing to listen.

"You may begin whenever you are ready.", he said, not rushing me.

He waited while I took a few breaths…remembering in my head what the first few pages held in them…seeing the images in my mind…fuck, I even almost SMELLED Sir Kevin and the leather he'd worn that day. But Peter kept waiting, frozen in his pose, letting me decide when I would read.

I finally closed my own eyes and opened the book…the first page waiting there for me like a cobra wearing a big smile.

I cleared my throat and blinked my eyes….I cannot believe I'm actually going to do this.

And I began to read:

"I was kneeling in the dungeon, nude, waiting for my mistress. I was waiting to be punished, so I was in that position, perfectly displayed as she liked me to be. My arms folded tight behind my back, knees together, head down, eyes closed. I made my body and posture just right, not wanting to displease her even further. I could smell the familiar scent of leather and cedar wood…that musky smell of an old basement…I could feel the rough, gritty cement floor under my knees…it used to hurt me but now I was used to that tingle of pain. I waited for her…knowing she'd make me wait a little while…wanting my mind to wander, to fear and imagine what punishment she'd bring this time.

Instead, though, I kept thinking of Selena…of her smile…her laugh…the way she wept when I left her that morning…she loves me. I still couldn't believe it."

I looked at Peter and he was listening, his eyes still peacefully closed…and a little smile came to his lips. I felt okay…so I went on.

"Even if we don't get to be together…these last two weeks were enough to keep me smiling for the rest of my life. I'd always have them to look back on…no matter what else I had to go through from here. She made me a man…with her I was REAL, flesh and blood…not a shadow.

Whatever the punishment is, it was worth it, I told myself, smiling a little.

And then I heard HER high heels clicking down the hallway…coming for me."

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