Stuck in fire - Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez Kapitel 17-40

En historie der blev slettet på et andet site, som min veninde og jeg følger med i. Bare ignorer den ;)


22. 38

I couldn't wait to burst through the hospital room door. I didn't want to give off an enraged aura when I first met Charlie's eye. I wanted him to hear me, calmly, and make a rational choice to let his daughter be an adult and choose her own path. I wanted her to choose me. I wanted him not to interfere. I wanted him out of the way. I also wanted him in Selena's life. I wanted things to work out, stupidly, I realized I wanted everything to fall neatly into place after Victoria's demise. I truly didn't want anymore obstacles. And I knew that wasn't reality. But I want the fairy tale. I want to slide Selena's little foot into the glass slipper and have everything around us sparkle with pixie dust. Everyone around us would smile and embrace us, wish us well, and be at our Disney wedding at the castle. God, how I want that. I always thought, watching it with Katie, that is was an easy out, a too-perfect ending that wasn't facing any of their true life problems.

But, again, I want the perfect ending. I don't want reality right now. I want Selena. And I was angry at Charlie for trying to steal that away from me. Hell, I hate fire for stealing Tanya from me. I can't even look at or light candles. Now I have a flesh and blood person to face and convince him to allow me to be happy. It would almost be, as if I were getting the chance to reason with the flames in my apartment that night. I had always hated that I had no control or chance to stop things from happening as they did that horrible night.

Now I have a chance. I would not waste it. This time.

Selena was quickly following me as my eyes took Charlie in. This is a man that saved my life. This is a man who created Selena. Not only in physical form, but mentally. Charlie had everything to do with the remarkable creature she is today. I don't want to disrespect that.

Something in me said to slow down, to cut the anger in my gaze. So I softened…a bit.

"Hello Chief Gomez.", I heard myself greet him, respectfully. I noticed there were two pillows on top of the blankets of his bed, hiding the void that would be there.

You are still Chief Gomez to me. I'm not trying to insult you, Charlie. Don't be mad.

But Charlie did look annoyed that I had entered his room. I tried to ignore that.

"Justin.", he said dryly, crossing his arms and raising his eyes to the TV, as if a commercial about Smooth Away was more important than what I'd have to say.

"Dad.", Selena was on the other side of him, on his left. She sounded mad at his rude reply.

"What?", he growled darkly, only giving Selena his eyes, not me.

"Justin wants to talk to you.", she snatched the remote and clicked the TV off, "I want you to listen."

Charlie huffed and I forgot everything I was going to say in that split second. I felt panicked all of a sudden, lost. Selena must have sensed that, always keen to emotions and pain…and always ready to put a tourniquet on my bleeding…always prepared to heal.

"So, here's what we're going to do, Dad…Justin.", she regarded both of us, "This is a family therapy session. Everyone will get a chance to talk…and everyone will listen…Dad."

This is a brilliant idea! Why didn't I think of it? But then Charlie snorted and sighed, his arms still crossed in defiance.

"He's not family, Selena.", Charlie spat out, dismissing me with four words.

But she was at my defense in two seconds.

"I love him, Dad, he IS family.", she struck back with a hint of anger but kept it in check, as Dr. Selena always does, "Now unfold your arms. It's a defense mechanism. It says no one will get inside you. I don't want to see that."

And, like a miracle happened…Charlie uncrossed his arms and let them rest at his sides.

"Justin…sit down please.", Selena took charge and I fell in love with her all over again.

I sat down in a chair close to the bed and was glad Charlie was almost at eye level with me. I'd hate to have to look up at him, in almost a kneeling level below him, and pleading with him to give us a chance.

I had thought of begging him, last night, and knew it was the wrong way to get to Charlie. He'd think it was weak. I think it's weak. But it's all I know right now. I beg if I really want something. And sometimes, if I beg really well, I get it. I never want to have to beg again. Only Selena or my daughter would ever make me beg like a dog again. And if all else failed, I probably would do it, much to Selena's disapproval.

Selena sat down as well, across from me, Charlie's good and amputated leg between us, so symbolically. It might as well have been a million miles separating us.

"Dad, I talked to Justin last night, about what we talked about.", Selena began, setting the stage, getting it all out there in the open. She has real courage, guts. She is so my super hero. I want lessons from her.

Charlie sighed again. I felt my eyes burning when they darted to him. He turned his eyes to me, then, and they burned right back at me. This was going to be a battle. This was going to be war.

"And Justin has some things to say, obviously.", Selena continued, "I'm going to let him speak first…and then, Dad, you'll get your chance to say whatever you want to say…"

I felt my lips give her a little smile, and I hoped she noticed my silent thank you for this.

"We have to make a choice by the end of the night…about our futures.", Selena said, making me feel even more nervous, "It's right that we spend today together, deciding things together."

Charlie didn't say a word and a small silence descended upon us. Selena raised a brow to me and prompted me to begin with, "Justin?"

Alright. Here it is. My chance to argue, to fight back, to say what I feel and think and not have to suffer any punishment because of it. And, just like that, the words came back to me.

"Chief Gomez…", I looked at him and spoke directly to him, "I first want to thank you for everything. You had no reason to help me but you did. You put yourself…and your daughter into so much danger. It doesn't matter what the reason is, I am very grateful for everything you did."

I am glad I said that first. I did want him to know how thankful I was for his help and for saving not only Selena and I but also Emmett.

I got no reply yet from Charlie, not that I expected one. It's alright. I wasn't offended…yet.

"I am a father, too, Chief Gomez.", I said, cutting right into the heart of my message, "I'm not there every day with my daughter, but…I love her every day. I'm with her, in every breath I take. And I agree with you. I'm not good enough for Selena."

"Justin!", Dr. Selena suddenly sounded like a sixteen year old girl that was mad at me for saying the wrong thing. But I wasn't finished yet. I even had Charlie's attention now. He was looking at me, anyway.

"If I get to be around and some whore tried to take my daughter to the curb, let alone to a whole different state, I'd murder him first. I would erase him from the world in two seconds.", I said, without hesitation, then paused.

Charlie even grinned a little.

"But then…", I continued, "Then my daughter would hate me. Curse me. Want no part of me at all. I'd miss more time with her then, by her own choice. I'd miss not just walking her down the aisle, or putting swing sets together for her kids in the backyard, but even little things like talking together, or cooking together…just calling on the phone to say hi…writing letters to each other…and a million other things…I'd miss it all. I have missed far too much of her life already. I can't say a thing. I have to smile and even stand by, watching, while she grows up and makes her own choices. Even if those choices are wrong and will cause her pain, I can't say a damned thing. All I can do is be there when she needs me. Hold her while she cries and help her find the way. It sucks but…I know in my heart that's the right thing…the only thing a Dad can do."

"Listen, Justin, you don't understand…", Charlie tried to cut me off but I stopped him cold.

"I understand, Charlie!", I closed my eyes for a moment. I was so tired of being treated like I was stupid and just a cute face and body, nothing more.

"I understand more than you do.", I pointed out, staring daggers at him, "Have you seen your daughter on fire? Have you been helpless, standing by while you listen to her screams of TERROR and excruciating PAIN? I understand wanting to protect your little girl! Don't you dare try and tell me I don't get it. I DO! "

I paused again, calming down, my vision a little blurred with tears that threatened to leak out of my eyes, but I tried to hold them back. Selena was staring at me, her eyes strong but solemn.

Calmly, I spoke again.

"I gave my daughter up once.", I said very quietly, looking down at my hands that were clenched in fists, "I wanted to keep her innocent…I wanted her to be happy. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, Chief Gomez. It killed me. I died that day. But I did it for her…for Katie. I sold everything I was, hoping it would be enough to buy Katie her life back. And I would do it again. So if you want me to say I'm sorry, I won't. I can't."

"What you see now is all that's left of me. I know it's not a lot. I have no degrees, I have no real money…I have no super career. I know I'm a man in shreds, I know that. I didn't think I could even love another woman, after all the women I've known in the last few years. But I do. I love Selena Gomez. I'll do anything to make her happy. Even…to rebuild myself…until I believe I'm truly worthy of her, which I probably never will be. But I'm gonna try…every day. Please don't…kill us before we even have a chance to begin. Please."

I paused, thinking maybe I would end my speech here. Then Selena looked at me. I looked back at her, my eyes secretly adoring her.

"That took a lot of courage, Justin.", Selena said in her professional doctor voice.

"Dad?", she began to give Charlie his chance to speak and he was about to open his mouth.

But I cut in again.

"My parents once forbid me to marry Tanya.", I dared to look at Charlie's face as he stared back at me, "They told me if I stayed with her, I'd lose them, I'd lose their money, my college courses, everything. I hated them for that. Not that I loved them very much before. But I chose love. I walked away from them and even though it was very painful for me and might have changed my relationship with her, I made the right choice. Don't make Selena choose, Chief Gomez, please. It will hurt her. Either way. And you'll never be the same man to her again. She looks on you as a hero. Don't throw that away."

I stopped and let a breath out, adding, "That's all I wanted to say."

Selena took another breath and smiled at me with approval. I felt much better now. The only thing that worried me was that it was Charlie's turn to speak his mind.

"Okay.", Selena said after another pause, "Dad…why don't you tell us what you're thinking?"

Selena sounded afraid, deep down, of what he'd say next. So was I. I knew his reasons would be good and hard to dispute. All I have on my side is love. He has logic, sense, and reality behind him, ready to cut my throat.

"Fine.", Charlie began, his voice low and unmoved.

I am dead.

But just as Charlie was about to start ripping me apart, the door burst open and two officers with guns on their hips strode in. A man, in his thirties, with short brown hair slicked back wearing a modest suit, and a woman in her twenties with short cropped reddish blonde hair and fair skin.

They showed their badges and looked grim.

"Federal marshals – Conner and Meyer.", the man announced themselves, "Sorry to intrude, here, but we're out of time."

Out of time?

Selena stood up, looking worried as they stood beside Charlie's bed, next to me.

The woman looked down at me and put a hand on my shoulder. I felt sick inside suddenly, imagining the worst. Katie!

My eyes widened in realization and I jerked my head up at them.

"My daughter!", was all I could shout out.

"She's okay, she's okay.", the woman marshal assured me and my guts unclenched.

"But something's happened.", the male marshal but in, "Ben Cheney, your daughter's guardian…his car blew up last night. This is the car they left behind when we took them to the safe house. No one was hurt but…well, I don't have to paint you a picture, do I?"

I felt myself jumping up and moving before my brain was even aware of it all.

"We have a place set up for you to join them..", the woman marshal was telling me, "But we need to go now."

"Alright, I'm coming.", I said, ready to go with them right now. I didn't even really need to go back to Selena's to get anything. Everything that was important to me was on me right now in the backpack I was carrying. We can go right to the airport and be on our way to Katie. I could see her in hours.

"Justin?", Selena's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I froze, turning and looking.

Selena was standing next to Charlie's bed, and he was holding her hand. They were both looking at me, both their faces painted with dread.

"Selena…", I choked.

The male marshal looked at his partner and they waited by the door.

"I hate to get in the way of…this…", the male marshal said, breaking the silence that had risen up between us, "But we have to go. It's yes or no."

"Selena, I have to go.", I informed, "If I don't, I'll never see my daughter again."

I looked at the marshals and raised a brow. "Right?", I asked them, making sure.

"They signed up for witness protection this morning.", the woman gave a serious nod.

I turned to Selena and she had tears in her eyes.

"Please, Selena.", I took a step forward, Charlie's bed between us.

Then I looked at Charlie and so did she.

"Chief Gomez…", I breathed, "Please come with us. Please don't do this to us. If you want me to beg, I'll beg. I'll do anything you want. But please don't take Selena away from me."

"My God.", Charlie grumbled, embarrassed by my plea.

"Dad!", Selena frowned at him.

"Sorry.", he said quietly, looking down at the pillows hiding his amputated leg, "I'm not going."

I let out a frustrated breath and looked away, then my eyes came back to Selena.

"I can't ask you to come with me and leave your father, Selena.", I said and every single word cut into my heart as I uttered it.

"Wait.", Selena let a tear fall and she grabbed my good arm, yanking me over into the corner of the room, near the window, leaving Charlie and the marshals there alone.

Before she even started to speak, I crushed my lips to hers and cupped her face into my hands, afraid this may be my last chance to kiss her sweet, wet lips.

"Justin…", she cried, her voice trembling as she threw herself into my arms.

I held her close and tight, kissing the top of her head with small, gentle pecks.

"Selena…", I said with a small voice, "I understand. He's your father. Just like I know you understand I need to be with my daughter. I won't make you choose. I don't want you hating me for this."

"Justin, I love you.", she clung to my shirt, a whimper coming out of her throat, "I can't let you go."

"I love you, too, Selena.", I heard my voice crack, realizing if I did leave, I would never be able to see her or even call her again. This witness protection thing is for life. But then I pictured Ben's car exploding, with all of them inside. If they had taken Ben's car instead of Angela's a couple days ago…they'd all be dead now.

"I'll always love you.", I added, meaning every word of it, ignoring my shaking hands.

She sobbed out loud and I glanced back at Charlie. He was avoiding looking at us, flicking on the TV overhead.

In that moment, I hated him. He didn't even care that his daughter was crying and in pain.

I broke from Selena and went after Charlie, snatching the remote from his hand.

"Yea, that's right, watch TV, CHARLIE!", I shouted right into his face, "What's the score of the game? Our lives are fucking destroyed and you turn on the TV? I wonder if there's a show called Tearing your Daughter's Heart Out!"

Selena came up behind me and was tugging on my sore arm a little but I didn't care. I had lost all control.

"You know, Charlie, I'm sorry you lost your leg, but I'm more sorry that you lost your heart – a long time ago.", I was livid, "There's no prosthetic for that! I hope you have no trouble sleeping at night for the rest of your life, knowing your daughter gave up her own happiness to push you around in your wheelchair for the rest of yours!"

"Justin, enough!", Selena pulled me away from him and I threw the remote at him as she got me over near the door, the marshals right beside us.

"I'm sorry but we need to go.", the woman said to both of us, then looked at Selena, asking, "Are you coming?"

I didn't need to hear her answer. I just took her into my arms again and kissed her, filled with passion and fire, my anger still fueling the flames.

She kissed me back but then sobbed again, breaking the kiss. I placed three little kisses to her mouth after that, wanting every second I could get with her.

"Oh God, Justin…", she wept, grabbing her hair. She looked up at me with glistening eyes and took a breath.

She brought both hands to my hair, touching it, stroking it, memorizing its every unruly lock. Then she moved her fingers down to my forehead, over my closed eyes, down the slope of my nose, down my cheekbones, her thumbs gliding over my bottom lip, then playing at the little dent in my chin.

She looked into my eyes as I stared back, my nose resting and nuzzling hers. I tried to think of something to say, in hopes of easing this pain. I knew immediately nothing could.

"This doesn't change anything, Selena Gomez.", I whispered, "I love you. I'll always love you. And I'll always belong to you. Always."

"I'll always belong to you, Justin.", she cried, placing two kisses on my neck, "I love you so much."

"Justin?", the male marshal called as I turned my head to him.

"We have to go.", he looked at his watch, then looked down, adding, "Sorry."

"I have to go." I said blankly, feeling so empty inside now.

"Promise me you'll stay in therapy.", she clung onto me, tears all over her little face.

I smiled and moved my thumbs under her eyes, moving the wet, salty tears aside.

"I promise.", I said, honestly, "Dr. Selena."

"I prefer Notebook Girl.", she tried to smile back up at me.

"Yes, my notebook girl.", I grinned…and felt tears come to my eyes.

I had to go fast or I'd never go. I hated it but I had to get out of here.

"You saved me, Selena.", I choked out the words, "You reached me."

"I told you I could.", she looked up at me, proudly.

I felt tears about to fall out of my eyes and I lifted her face to mine, one last kiss. I took my time, hoping it was as sweet and precious and everlasting to her as it was to me.

My heart was shattered when I ended the kiss at last.

"Goodbye Selena.", I whispered, yanking myself out of her arms and turning, taking a couple steps until I was outside the hospital door, the marshals right beside me.

And before I knew it, we were leaving her behind. We were on the way to the exit of the hospital…on the way out of her life forever.

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