Stuck in fire - Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez Kapitel 17-40

En historie der blev slettet på et andet site, som min veninde og jeg følger med i. Bare ignorer den ;)


3. 19

"What do you MEAN?", Emmett was staring at me as I tried not to look at his face, my hands laced behind my head, continuing my sit ups at a very fast pace.

"Just forget I said it, alright?", I sighed, knowing he wouldn't drop it. He stopped my sit ups by forcing his hand to my chest and he laid me down flat, my head thudding against the mat beneath it.

"Ow.", I half-frowned up at him.

"You can't love her, Justin.", Emmett reminded me of my one rule, "You can't love anyone…anyone but Victoria. I told you that on day one!"

"I didn't say I was going to marry her or anything, I just said, I love her…that's all.", I informed, "I'm not going to do anything…on Monday, I'll be kneeling in my room, waiting for Victoria, so don't worry."

"Justin, you're being so stupid…", Emmett looked worried about me, not really angry, "Do you want to be sold to Raven?"

"Shut up.", I frowned now, "And don't ever tell Selena anything about that, either. Once I leave, she won't follow me. She'll hate me, so nothing is going to happen. I'll be Victoria's obedient little machine again, just like old times."

"What do you mean, she'll hate you?", Emmett let me continue my sit ups.

"Victoria said if Selena ever came around me again that she'd ruin Selena, even hurt her. I can't let that happen. When I leave Selena's, I have to do something so horrible that she'll loathe me and never want to see me again. That way I ensure she won't come looking for me at Fire."

"Like what?", Emmett asked.

"I had one thought.", I stopped my sit ups and hated even thinking about it.


"I make a pass at Rosalie…or Alice.", I said, feeling nauseous, "I'm sure they wouldn't take me up on it, but they'll tell Selena…or maybe I can do it so Selena catches me…but I don't want to endanger her friendships…no, it would be better for her friend to turn me down, slap me or something, then Selena sees it. You will have to help me out on this one, Em."

"Fine…but use Alice, not Rosalie.", Emmett suggested.

"Selena is more jealous of Rosalie's looks, though.", I pointed out.

"It doesn't matter…if you hit on any friend of hers…or even a stranger…Selena's gonna get mad…", Emmett said.

"Yea, you're probably right.", I agreed, "Okay, Alice. Rosalie might say yes to me, too, and that wouldn't help my plan any."

"As if.", Emmett scoffed.

"Hey, Rosalie was sucking on my finger the first night I met her at Fire.", I boasted.

"Well, you dipped your frigging hand halfway into her drink!", Emmett argued.

"You like her, don't you?", I asked, seeing it in his face.

"Yea, I do.", Emmett said, "But I won't call her again. I didn't let myself get too close to her…and I'll never let myself get close enough to LOVE her…DOPE!"

"I know.", I looked at my sneaker, "If only it wasn't for all the times she wanted to talk to me…I could've made things all about sex and I would've been fine. I know I sound like a giant girl, but…she cared for me. She's quiet…and soft sounding…like a mandolin…not loud…not rough. She wasn't just using me…"

"You didn't tell her anything about…Victoria…what she is…did you?", Emmett gave me a grave stare.

"No.", I breathed, frowning, "Never. I'd never put Selena's life in danger that way."

"Good. Don't.", he said, but he didn't have to tell me that. That's one secret I would never tell anyone. I hated thinking about it myself, even in private.

"Hey, you could always tell Selena you and I are lovers.", Emmett laughed, putting an arm around my neck, trying to lean in and kiss my cheek as I struggled him away.

"UGH!", I shouted, repulsed, "Get off me, you giant homo! What the hell's with you?"

He laughed and let me go, teasing, "You're too small for me, anyway…you couldn't handle me, little girl."

"Are you trying to make me vomit?", I asked, moving myself further away from Emmett, putting some space between our asses as we went back to doing our sit ups. I had to burn off those Doritos…Victoria was going to kick my ass for that.



"Justin, session seven.", I hit my record button and looked across me at the porcelain face smiling back at me, "Hi Justin."

"Hi Dr. Selena.", he showed teeth as his smile widened, then straightened his expression a bit, ready for whatever I had planned for him this time.

"Remember the first session, Justin, that we had here?", I asked.

"Of course.", he grinned.

"You…really laid yourself across that sofa as I recall.", I reminded, seeing his eyes look at the vast, empty remainder of the couch, then back to me, "Remember that?"

"Yes.", he looked down at his knee and then sheepishly brought his eyes to mine, "I was bad. I thought…if I could distract you with my body…you'd forget the whole therapy thing. I guess I had no idea who I was dealing with at the time."

I chuckled at his confession, glad to hear him admit it.

"Me, either.", I admitted, adding, "I really have done you a terrible…service, Justin."

His face frowned and stared back at me, not liking my tone or my words, I couldn't be sure which.

"It is so unprofessional for me…to try to counsel you…and then…be with you…the way I have been…", I was stumbling through my point.

"Are you saying you regret sleeping with me?", he asked and I felt my whole chest get hot and tight.

"NO!", I shouted it before I knew I was doing it…and Justin's body relaxed a bit, but his face was still hard.

"No, Justin, of course not.", I assured him, "I've never been happier, EVER, than these last days with you. And I think you actually charged me too little…I should've paid more…"

I winced at what I just said but Justin laughed and crossed his arms, tilting his head to the side, watching me blush.

"I know.", he said, "But I liked you…from the first time I saw you, writing in your notebook while I was trying to get your attention in my cage. Don't think that didn't hurt my ego, you know…there I was almost naked and grinding against the bars of my cage and you didn't even glance up at me. So I had to steal that notebook and shove it down my pants to get your attention…"

I had to laugh, remembering.

"I was so scared of you…", I let out a breath, "I saw you…every move you made. You were…and ARE…the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I was pretending to write in my notebook. I was so afraid. If I looked up and you looked back at me…I don't know…I was different then. You changed me, you know."

He gave a small, tender smile and took a moment to respond.

"You've changed me, too, Selena.", he kept looking into my eyes and the look nearly burned me inside.

"I was just trying to say, earlier, that maybe if I had stayed professional, maybe I could've helped you more…done something differently…", I shrugged.

"Selena…", he leaned forward and waited until I looked into his face, "First off, I wouldn't have stayed if you refused to sleep with me. See, there's one way I've changed. Back then, I would've left if you didn't make that deal with me, to give me equal time. I wanted you and I felt I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't perform for you. I didn't want to cheat you. It's different now. You're not a job, Selena. I like talking to you as well as fucking you…sorry…making love to you. I guess my mouth hasn't changed much, but, I have loved my time with Dr. Selena."

"You are a very intelligent doctor and I really do feel like you have helped me…so much. Just because my entire life hasn't changed into some pretty little picture doesn't mean you haven't done a good job counseling me. Do you know what a gift it is for someone like me to just happen to have two weeks with not only a hot girl who's very sensual and passionate, but also one who wants to be a psychiatrist and wants to help me? I never believed in ghosts or spirits before, but I keep thinking that Anna must've set us up. I'm never this lucky on my own. It has to be some kind of divine intervention or something.", he said, looking a little embarrassed, finishing his speech.

I felt my eyes begin to turn wet and I blinked them away, making myself smile a little bit in return to his kind words.

"Thank you, Justin.", I breathed the words, not sure if I could speak that well right now without crying, "I'm still not finished, though. I actually did get somewhere today after you left."

"Really?", he looked concerned, "What happened?"

"Can't tell you yet.", I teased, "You'll see soon enough."

"Selena, you're scaring me.", he almost frowned, "What have you done?"

"Relax.", I opened my notebook, clicking my pen, "You worry too much."

He looked very nervous but I stuck to my guns. Saving him was going to be difficult enough without him fighting my methods. I hoped he wouldn't come to hate me for the drastic measures I had to take, but I wasn't changing my course now.

"So, Justin…", I asked, "What would you like to talk about today?"

"Well, there has been something on my mind…", he said, "But I don't think you'll want to talk about it."

"I'm Dr. Selena, Justin.", I said with a grin, "I will talk about anything with you."

"Alright.", he took a breath, "I've been wondering…how I'm going to feel when I have to leave here."

He was being so honest and I appreciated it…he wasn't so closed up like he used to be…but why did his eyes have to show so much? He was right to be afraid…afraid to believe I would save him. If I screwed up, and failed him…he would be devastated…and so would I. So he wasn't even letting himself hope.

"You're not leaving here, Justin.", I stated, feeling like a warden.

He scoffed and smiled and said, "Selena…we both know I have to leave here on Sunday, let's not pretend…this is therapy. I thought you wanted truth."

I threw my notebook on the table and felt angry at him now.

"You know…", I said with venom in my voice, "I think you really want to go back. I think you're scared to death I'm gonna find some way out for you."

He gave a little laugh and I got more pissed off.

"I'm scared?", he asked, almost in a mocking way.

"Yes.", I squinted my eyes, "Getting free from Victoria is easy compared to what you'd have waiting for you then. Number one – repairing the damaged relationship you have with your daughter."

His face turned to stone and his eyes blazed again, almost darkening with their sudden anger.

"It's not damaged!", he defended.

"Justin, you call her once a day, you haven't seen her in years.", I pointed out, "Little children need your constant presence to feel close to you…you do have years of work ahead in becoming her father again if you ever put yourself back into her life. And the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be."

He looked down at his knees and didn't fight back on that point. I suddenly felt like another woman whipping him as he just sat there and took it.

"Number two would be looking for a job.", I tried to say gently but firmly, wanting to show him why he was so resisting my attempts to free him.

"And you would have to find a good job, maybe even two of them for awhile…", I said, "If you want to keep taking care of Katie and yourself without the easy income…"

I threw that in to see if he would fight back…I wanted him to. He had to start learning how to fight back…he could practice here with me.

"EASY?", his eyes looked murderously at me now and I almost trembled.

"Well, you said yourself no real job would pay you 50,000 dollars for one day of work.", I reminded.

"Yea,", he almost let out a crazed person's laugh, "And I also wouldn't have to get fucked up the ass for two hours with ten different dildos, either, I'll bet! Or have needles driven through my cock! Or let's not forget the easy fun of having a man wash your body and hose you off like a zoo animal afterwards, right before you're locked into a goddamn BOX for the night – to REST! I EARN every cent they pay me, Selena! EASY!"

"I love it when you get mad, Justin.", I smiled at his face, "Don't you see how free you feel after you let that poison out of you?"

For a minute, he just stared at me, opening his mouth a couple times, nothing coming out…finally, he let a little smile show and he muttered.

"You are so sneaky.", he shook his head, "And so good."

"You don't really think I find your life easy, I hope.", I said, wanting so badly to hold him.

"No." he grabbed his hair with his hands, hiding his face from me, "I know you just want to help me, Selena…I know."

"I want you to help yourself, Justin.", I said, "I wanted so badly this morning for you to get out your cell phone and sit down with us, helping us make our calls. But I know that's a lot to ask you…so soon."

"It's not just me, Selena.", he said, "If I run, the people I love will pay. And now you're included in that unfortunate group. I have to go back to her. She's very powerful, more than you know. She can kill us all if she wanted. I really am honored that you want to help me but…I'm trapped. I can't go anywhere. Can't we just let it be? Leave it alone."

"No.", I said without emotion, "That's not an option for me. I was born to fix things…people…problems…I'll always want to do that. And it's even more complicated now that I love you. I'm honored to be part of the unfortunate group of people you love. I just…HAVE to save you…simple as that. And I will, Justin, and I'm not afraid of her. I would gladly risk my life for you, you know that, right?"

"You are right now.", he said with a dark voice.

"My father risks his life everyday, doing what's right.", I said proudly, "I was raised to have courage, blame my dad for that."

Justin's eyes became shiny as he looked at me and said, "I wish I was something like that…that my daughter could look up to."

"You are, Justin.", I said and he cringed, looking away, not wanting to believe me.

"I don't know anyone who has endured so much pain and agony all for the sake of someone they love like you do, Justin.", I said with a hard voice, wanting him to hear me and understand his sacrifices, "You've bled for Katie…you've given your body and soul for her…you've sold your own flesh so that she could have hers again. Every day, every thing you do screams love and courage, Justin."

"You see me with these romantic glasses, Selena…", he wiped his eyes, taking a deep breath, "And I like the way you make me sound…but if Katie ever found out what I was, I think I'd kill myself."

My heart stopped.

I kept my calm and asked, "Have you had…thoughts about that a lot?"

His eyes touched mine and he told me the truth straight out.

"Yes, Selena…", he said, "I've wanted to kill myself…but I can't…not until Katie is alright again."

"Wait.", I felt my eyes widen, "You're planning on doing this….someday?"

"No.", he said but I didn't believe him, "I meant, I can't do that…Katie needs me."

Oh my God. Suicide. I'm supposed to let James know if he talks about suicide. But he just denied it, didn't he? If I don't tell James and something happens to Justin…

"Selena, honestly…", he shook his head, trying to convince me, "That was dumb of me…I didn't mean that. I don't want to kill myself. Really. But you have to admit, it is a definite way out."

"What do you see when you look into your future?", I asked, "Five years from now…or ten?"

He thought for a minute, not saying anything and I was getting so scared. He doesn't see a future for himself.

"I don't know.", he said, "It's not up to me. I don't know what next week will hold, let alone, five years from now. I expect once my looks fade and I get older, Victoria won't want me anymore. And then I'll be free. Maybe then I can move to Florida and work for Ben at his factory. And I can start trying to get to know Katie again, if she wants me to."

Florida…thank you. Now I know where to look to find Ben. Factory…that might be a good clue also. Justin didn't even notice that he just told me things that before he had hidden from me.

"Why does Victoria own you?", I asked, "I mean, does she own anyone else at the club…or otherwise?"

"No, just me.", he said.

"Why you?", I asked and he looked up at me, "I mean, I know you're amazing, and if I could own you, I'd draw up the papers right now…but…why does she want full possession of you? Did she ever say?"

"She told me in the beginning I was special.", he shrugged, "She says that all the time…but she doesn't say why I'm so damn special."

"There must be something about you…", I stood and paced, talking to myself, "A reason she wants you so much…it can't just be your looks…"

"Hey, is that a personal parade – or can anyone march in it?", he teased, smirking at me.

"Your father is a doctor, is that right?", I asked him, if I remembered correctly.

His face went blank again, a glint of anger in his eyes.

"My father is a prick.", he corrected, "But yes, Dr. Prick."

"What about your mother?", I asked, stopping my pacing.

"She's Mrs. Prick.", he said then sighed, "She's just a doctor's wife, she has no big career or anything."

"There's more to this than meets the eye.", I said to Justin and he looked confused, "I think there's some big, secret reason she has to own YOU…above all others…"

"She says she loves me…once in awhile…", Justin shared, almost ashamedly, "On my birthday and at Christmastime…"

"Do you believe her?", I asked, without judging. Maybe he loves her, in some way…no, he said he hated her the other day. I felt relieved and horrible at the same time.

"Not always.", he looked down at his hands, "But once in awhile…she says it real nice…and I almost do…"

I didn't say anything, wondering how it must feel for him, living in a world where Victoria is the only one who shows you any love…no wonder he's thought about killing himself.

After a long pause, I decided enough therapy for today. I will do a long session tomorrow.

"Where would you like to go on our date, Justin?", I asked, smiling and slowly coming over to him on the sofa.

I straddled his hips with my legs and sat on his lap, taking his face into my hands, placing a small kiss on those full, glorious lips.

He smiled, relieved my hard questions and observations were over for now and he curled his arms around me, holding me closer, planting a warm kiss on my throat.

"I told you…it's your choice tonight…anywhere you want to go.", he tickled my neck as he spoke, his hot breath playing against my skin.

"I don't know…", I smiled, "Everywhere we go, we seem to end up making love there…I'm afraid to pick a place…I'm even afraid to take you food shopping with me now…"

"Are you complaining again?", he moved to the other side of my neck, just making small, little touches with his mouth that melted me instantly. I was such putty in his hands always.

I giggled, saying, "No, I know there's no complaint department. There's lots of wonderful departments…but no complaint department."

He hugged me and rubbed up and down my back as he kissed my lips again, briefly but longer than the tiny kisses he scattered across my neck a second ago.

"Did you like me being in control last night?", he whispered near my left ear, kissing it and taking my earlobe into his teeth.

"God, yes…", I whispered back, closing my eyes, "You gave me 24 hours of constant pleasure…and it nearly killed me."

We both laughed and his eyes twinkled as he looked up at my face, his perfect teeth nearly shined and my heart skipped a beat or two.

"I love you, Selena.", he said, his right hand cupping my cheek, "No matter what happens, I will always love you."

"I'll always love you, too, Justin.", I said without missing a beat, meaning every word.

"Tonight, I'm not a toy.", he said with a very serious voice, his eyes piercing into mine, "I'm a man escorting you out for a date. Justin Bieber. And if I'm a good date, and you invite me up, I want to make love to you like a real man.

No games or ropes or eggs…just me…and you…is that alright?"

"You've never been a toy to me, Justin Bieber.", I responded, stroking his hair and face, treating him as the treasure he is, "And every time we make love, I'm making love to a real man. But, yes, if you're a good date…I may invite you up."

He smiled at me and the whole world ceased existing.

"On our first date?", he asked, slightly shocked.

I laughed, "If I want you, I don't care if it's the first date or the 101st. I'm a sexual creature now, not a quivering mouse. I've been taught by the master, Justin Bieber."

"Congratulations.", he said, "You are now a graduate of the Justin Bieber Institute for the Future Bad Girls of America."

Letting out a huge laugh, I agreed, "Yes, I'm very bad…but you'd better be good. That's the only way into my bed tonight."

"I will be good, then, or I'll be sleeping on the steps tonight.", he chuckled.

"Do you even know how to be good?", I joked.

"Perhaps, when I must.", he answered, "So now all you have to do is tell me where you'd like to go."

I didn't really want to go anywhere fancy where I'd have to get all dressed up, and I knew he only had casual clothes with him here, so I decided something cliché and easy.

"How about…dinner and a movie?", I suggested.

"Too easy.", he said.

"Is that a new nickname for me?", I laughed as he gave a gasp, muttering how terrible a comment that was for me to make of myself.



A knock tapped on my door and I smiled, fastening my earring and checking myself in the mirror. Not too bad. I was wearing makeup and my nice diamond earrings Charlie bought me for Christmas last year. I went with a nice skirt and a short sleeved sweater, one inch heels. Pretty but not overly sexy. This was a first date, after all.

I went to the door and smiled at what I saw there. A very handsome gentleman stood there in a gray cable knit sweater and black slacks, dress shoes and a single red rose in his hand, adorned with a little spray of baby's breath.

"Hi, I'm Justin Bieber.", he smiled, dazzling the shit out of me, "I hope you're Selena Gomez."

I smiled like a goofball and for reasons I didn't know, I almost felt my legs give out. I would expect it if I just met Justin, but I hadn't. I hade made love to him in so many different ways…why now did it feel like we were total strangers…in a very romantic, exciting way?

"I am.", I felt my cheeks get hot, "Would you like to come in for a sec?"

"Sure, thanks.", he waited for me to step back and open the door further. He entered, keeping his eyes on me and handing me the rose, "This is for you."

"It's beautiful.", I took it with a timid hand and brought it to my nose, smelling it with a grin.

He smiled at me and said, "It is now."

Oh my God. Would it be bad of me to tackle him to the floor now?

"Nice place.", he commented, looking around, hands behind his back.

"Thanks.", I blushed again, "I'm not all that great on decorating, but…it's not a bad place."

"I like your stools.", he gave a little smirk, and I almost smirked back at him.

"So do I…lately.", I gave a little nervous laugh, getting a vase out of the cabinet, turning the kitchen faucet and putting some water into it.

He looked at me, as if asking what I meant and I just said, "Private joke."

His lips did that little pout again, I think he was trying not to laugh.

"So, what movie are we seeing?", I asked out of curiosity, going to the sofa to get my purse.

"The Philadelphia Story.", he replied and I felt my mouth fall open a bit.

"What's wrong?", he asked.

"Nothing.", I smiled, "I just expected something like…I don't know, a new movie…guys usually love explosions and action and cars…"

He smiled more and said, "Not me. I love black and white films. Pure, simple…honest…without the sleaze of today's movies. Do you prefer something newer?"

"Oh, no.", I quickly denied, "I totally agree with you. I love old movies. And I love Jimmy Stewart."

"Me too.", he grinned, "Most people just know him from It's a Wonderful Life, but that's not even his best work."

"I know!", I agreed and thought how strange I've been with Justin all this time and never knew this stuff about him. A dark part of me almost scoffed and said he was playing another role for me…but I dismissed that idea and really believed him.

"I love Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, too.", I said, "But I haven't seen that since I was a teenager."

"Well, perhaps if we have a second date, we could see that next.", he charmed the panties off me.

"I would love that.", I smiled, shivering a little.

He didn't say anything, but we shared a silent look between us, both wishing this is how we'd really met…and that we were these carefree characters we were playing, with no worries and no obstacles in our way.

"Shall we go, then, Selena?", he said at last, "If it's alright, I thought we'd walk. The movie theatre is just a few blocks away and it's beautiful out."

"I love walking.", I agreed, letting him open the door for me as we left my place.

"Be careful on these stairs.", I said as I began to descend them, "There are sometimes shady characters lurking around here, waiting to jump on unsuspecting women after they get their mail."

He almost laughed but then said, "Don't worry, Selena. I'll protect you."

"Thanks.", I held the door for him and we were outside in the nice, cool evening breeze, on the strangely quiet sidewalk, walking side by side.

I love how the air felt moving my hair back away from my shoulders as I stole a glance at my blind date, loving the way he looked…and smelled…and talked.

"So, you go to NYC, huh?", he asked about my college.

"Yea.", I admitted, "I love it there. I'm majoring in Psychiatry."

"I went there, too.", he said, "Before I went to medical school."

I almost didn't know what to say…I knew this part was fiction but I didn't want to ruin it for either of us.

"That's part of the reason I agreed to a blind date.", he said next, walking at a nice slow, even pace, as if not rushing to get there too soon, "I'm stuck in the ER all the time, I never get a chance to meet women unless they're bleeding and screaming."

I gave a little laugh and said, "No, please, no bleeding, no screaming…I'm very squeamish. I'd hate to pass out and miss the movie."

"Selena, you won't miss a thing.", he said, giving me a smile…and I wondered what he meant by that. Before I could analyze it, he laughed and added, "I meant that as a compliment."

I noticed he walked beside me, but didn't get too close, he never touched me, as if this was a real first date and we had never met before. It was nice…I was enjoying myself, much to my surprise.

Once in the little sleepy movie theatre, Justin made me laugh by getting us all the junk food he could buy us. Popcorn with lots of real butter, sodas the size of beer pitchers, and lots of candy filled our arms as we went to the only theatre in the place and looked for a good seat. It wasn't very hard. There was only two other people in the movie, in separate seats.

"Hmmm…", Justin stood there, conflicted, not moving.

"What?", I grinned at him.

"Well, this is a very important moment, Selena.", he informed, "And it may decide our whole future together…if we have one."

"What are you talking about?", I giggled.

"Where you prefer to sit.", he said, as if it should've been obvious, "If you sit in the middle, it means you play it safe and go along with the status quo, willing to be one of the sheep. If you sit in the front…well…that's just…wrong. That's for old ladies who can't see and retarded children."

"Oh, but the back is the cool place to sit, right?", I asked, wise to his motives, "Or is it for those who want people to think they're cool and have insecurity issues?"

"No.", he quickly snapped back as I laughed.

"If you sit in the back, then it means you love to relax and enjoy standing back and watching classic movie moments unfurl on their own without crowding them.", he said.

I just shot him a look and he smiled.

"And, also, it's a great place to make out.", he chuckled.

"Well, then my choice is clear.", I walked to the last row and walked into it, sitting in the middle of the row. He was behind me, smiling, without saying anything else, setting our sodas in their holders in the arm of our seats.

"Good choice, Selena.", he whispered as the lights went down.

The movie was beyond wonderful. The dialogue was beautifully old fashioned and every word was almost like poetry to me.

Gentleman Justin never tried to make a pass or hold my hand, even as we watched the story unfold.

The love scene between James Stewart and Katherine Hepburn came and I just melted as he said to her, "There's a magnificence in you, Tracy. A magnificence that comes out of your eyes…and your voice, and the way you stand there, and the way you walk…you're lit from within, Tracy. You've got fires banked down in you…hearth fires and holocausts!"

I looked at Justin and knew exactly what those words meant…Justin is like that for me. And when I looked at him…he was looking at me, too. But I didn't take my eyes away from him…I held his gaze as the actors kept talking to each other. His hand found mine on the arm of my chair and he laid his upon it, gently curling around it…and I started to feel hot and a little sweaty suddenly. This is magic!

"I don't seem…too made of bronze?", Tracy asks. This was something her asshole father called her, a tough woman back then scared men and he said she wasn't real, she was made of bronze, because she was smart and strong. I could relate to that. A lot of boys saw me as a bookworm, not a girl to date. But Justin was different. He seemed to SEE me…

"No, you're flesh and blood…" he says to her, "That's the blank, unholy surprise of it. You're the golden girl, Tracy…full of life and warmth and delight."

Justin's face was moving so slowly I didn't even know he was moving until he was almost nose to nose with me…

"What goes on, you've got tears in your eyes?", James Stewart asks Tracy.

And I felt tears in my eyes. And a half second later, I felt the most innocent, intense kiss I had ever known.

I lost track of the actors on the screen for awhile but our kiss deepened. I felt no tongue, though, this was a gentleman's first kiss…and I loved it. I felt like I was in an old movie now.

On screen, the lovers were kissing, too, and just as we finished our kiss, I heard Katherine Hepburn breathe, "Golly…Golly Moses…"

Justin and I both laughed, still looking at each other. We didn't say anything to each other, but he held my hand all through the rest of the movie…and it was the most incredible feeling. It was nothing…but everything.

Jimmy Stewart then asks Tracy if this could be love and she says, no, it can't be.

And he asks her, "Would it be inconvenient?"

"Terribly!", she answers, then later, she says, "We're out of our minds!"

I smiled a little, understanding this too. It's amazing how you can relate to a movie made so long ago, today in 2009. But I got the message. Love isn't always convenient, fitting perfectly into your schedule. I found myself saying a little prayer…even if Justin would find it a waste of time…there has to be someone somewhere who can hear me…and understand…and show me the way. Please.

The movie ended and Justin hadn't tried doing anything sexual to me in the lonely, dark theatre. I almost wondered if he would try something. This was a perfect setting for some semi-public scene…but he remained my considerate date…and I had to admit, it was nice.

As we left the theatre, Justin was still holding my hand, saying, "They don't make movies like that anymore. Hell, they don't have actors like that anymore."

"I know.", I agreed, "Although I do love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies…"

"Yea, they do have something when they're together, don't they?", he grinned at me, "I wonder if they've ever been together…in private."

I just laughed a little at that and gave his hand a little squeeze, hoping he read that message as 'I love this date and you are doing so well, Justin'.

"Where are we going now?", I asked after a little pause between us.

"There's a great little place a few blocks down that I thought you'd like.", he informed, giving a nod forwards, "It's Italian. Do you like Italian?"

"Are you kidding?", I asked, "It's my favorite. I live for a good marinara sauce and mozzerella cheese."

"Oh, the sauce here is to die for.", he smiled more, showing those gleaming white teeth.

We talked about our favorite parts of the movie on the way to the restaurant and when we got there, Justin asked for a nice, quiet table, slipping the hostess a folded up bill.

He touched the small of my back as we were taken to a little round table in a dimly lit corner. He pushed my chair in for me and then he sat across from me, opening his menu.

"I'm not going to be one of those guys who tells his date what she should order.", he said right out, "I think that is an insult. You have a mind and you can choose for yourself. I like a woman who can think for herself."

I smiled at him and thought that comment just earned him about 1,000 points.

"Well, thank you, Justin.", I replied, looking over my menu, "I've always hated it when men order my food for me. It makes me feel like I'm five years old."

He grinned and gave a single nod of his head.

When the waitress came over, Justin ordered himself a good ordinary spaghetti and meatballs with "lots of sauce" and garlic bread for both of us, and a coke.

I liked that he wasn't trying to impress me by ordering some fancy meal or an expensive wine.

I ordered the same thing as he did, really wanting that for myself before he ordered, and then I silently scolded myself for not being the "woman who could choose and think for herself." He just smiled at me as the waitress left and looked around him.

"Do you like it here, Selena?", he asked, a true gentleman.

"Yes, very much.", I answered, sipping my water, "It's very cozy and I feel comfortable here. Some restaurants make me nervous."

"I got the feeling you didn't like to be wined and dined.", he observed.

"Justin?", I looked up into his eyes, "Can I just…say one thing…for a second?"

He looked a little confused but said, "Sure.", anyway.

"I didn't really help you much, earlier, when you asked me how you were going to handle it when you had to leave.", I broke character because it had been bothering me all night. He asked me for guidance and I didn't give any. I just stomped my foot and said he wasn't leaving…when I didn't really know that for sure.

"Selena…", he looked a little scared.

"The truth is…", I took a breath, "I don't know what to say to that. I don't know how to tell you to get through it because…I don't know myself how I'm going to be able to go on without you. I don't want to think about it. But as your Dr., I would have to say something like, 'Nothing is forever. You must move on and take it one day at a time. Accept that it is over. Be glad for the time we had.' Bullshit. The truth is, there's no answer. It's going to hurt for both of us…like Hell. But we have to live through it…somehow. Justin, if you were serious about that killing yourself stuff you said, then I need to take you somewhere now."

He swallowed and his eyes turned serious.

"I don't want to kill myself, Selena.", he whispered between us, "Please forget that. It was a long time ago. I got over that. I don't need to go anywhere. I am where I need to be."

The waitress came over with the food and Justin went back into date mode.

"Wow, this looks sooo good.", he said as our plates were put down on the table, along with our cokes.

I just watched him as he winked at me and began twirling his spaghetti into his spoon with his fork.

"Thank you, Selena.", he said, simply, in response to what I had said a moment ago, and I felt the real emotion in his voice when he'd said it. His eyes burned into mine and I saw that he appreciated my answer to his question and I hoped he saw that my last words were an attempt to help him, not jail him in some mental institution.

"You're welcome, Justin.", I gave a little smile and began to cut up my spaghetti, giggling as Justin scolded me for doing so.

The rest of our dinner was fun and wonderful. I really felt like I just met Justin tonight but I was already falling for him. He let me talk about my classes and friends. He didn't make up any medical school stories or friends, though, and I was glad. That would've made me sad, hearing him weave tales of things that never were…but could've been.

He would've been a great doctor.

I started talking about my father, deciding to stop telling college stories. They might make him a little sad, since he couldn't finish college. Then, ten minutes into my Charlie stories, I thought maybe father stories would make him feel just as empty as the school stories.

But Justin always looked interested as I spoke, and he laughed and smiled in all the right places.

Before I knew it, we were stuffed and Justin was paying the check, along with a nice tip for the waitress. I was glad we had a nice walk ahead of us because I felt like a bloated whale as Justin pulled out my chair for me.

"That was so good.", Justin walked beside me again, this time a little closer than earlier. He didn't try to hold my hand again and I wondered if I did something wrong.

"Yea, you were right.", I smiled, "That sauce was the best."

"Definitely.", he agreed.

Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said, breaking character after we ordered our food. No. I meant that and it was important. It had to be said. I shouldn't have talked about school so much…shit!

"I haven't had so much fun on a date before.", he said, in a less playful mood now.

I was surprised and when I looked at him he was smiling at me, the wind ruffling his hair a bit, making it look messier…and sexier than before.

"Me either.", I admitted, "The last date I was on, I nearly choked to death on my soda."

Justin looked ahead of us and flashed that smile again, lightly chuckling to himself.

I noticed, though, that the closer we got to my place, the more nervous and tense Justin appeared.

"Are you alright?", I asked.

"Yea…", his eyes darted to mine, then he looked at his shoes, and glumly added, "Yea."

I decided to have some guts and clear the air a little.

"I always get so nervous at the end of a first date.", I confessed, "I'm always scared, wondering about the kiss at the doorway. Will it happen, will it not…if it does happen, will it be great…or not so great?"

Justin gave me a little grin now, not saying anything.

"I find it's better to just not stress over it…", I went on, "And just let happen…whatever will happen."

"That's easy for you to say, you're the girl.", he pointed out.

"Woman.", I corrected, "And that's kind of a sexist remark, don't you think?"

"No, I'm not trying to be sexist.", he smiled more, "I'm just saying…the woman gets to stand there and wait…the man is the one who has to make the first move."

"Well, then, I'm now changing the rules.", I informed, "You are not allowed to kiss me goodnight. I will be in charge of that."

"I'm not allowed?", he laughed.

"No.", I answered, grinning.

"Hmmm…", he smirked, "I don't know if I like it, being ordered around this way. In the ER, I usually give out all the orders."

"You'll live.", I smiled, liking the way gentleman Justin doesn't like being ordered around. That says a lot. I'd have to analyze that more later on.

He seemed to relax a little and then I wondered what the hell I had done. I'm no great kisser, I don't have all these romantic moves…what the hell am I going do once we get to my door? Oh, God! I'm going to make a huge fool of myself.

We finally got to my door and he walked me up the stairs to my apartment door, not saying anything until we stood there, looking at each other timidly.

"I want to thank you for such a great time, Justin Bieber.", I said, meaning that.

"It was all my pleasure, Selena Gomez.", he smiled back.

"I hope…", I said, "we can go out again sometime."

"I would love that.", he smiled and it did things to my intestines.

"Me too.", I said, not making any moves yet to kiss him. This is so strange. I feel like I can't do it. Like it's too soon. That's nuts.

"Well…", he hesitated, looking down the stairs, "I'd better go."

"Goodnight.", I heard myself say and inside my head was screaming, 'WHAT?'

He looked a little confused and then said, "Goodnight, Selena."

Slowly, he began to walk away a couple steps and I felt sick. He thinks I didn't like this date…that I don't like the gentleman he was tonight. NO! I had to stop him now! I summoned courageous, sexy Selena, making myself become that little flirt Justin was when I first met him.

"Hey!", I shouted and he froze, turning to me without walking back yet.

"Where do you think YOU'RE going?", I demanded.

"I…", he began, "You said…"

"Get your ass back here.", I made myself say, "I'm not finished with you yet."

He looked puzzled but he came back without a word.

Without another word, I grabbed him by the sweater, slammed his back into the door and pulled the sweater to me, bending him so I could kiss those spectacular lips of his.

I heard him making a couple of little sounds…surprised little moans as I opened my lips and fully inhaled his kiss, making it stronger.

He tasted like garlic and the best Italian sauce I had ever had…I devoured his taste.

I broke the kiss and heard his heavy breathing hovering over me as his eyes stared down into my soul.

Handing him my apartment key, I tried to give him a sexy smile and said, "Would you like to come inside, Justin Bieber?"

He took the key from me and looked down at it…he really did look nervous, as if he'd never done this before. Then I remembered…he hasn't made love without games or toys or orders for so long…this is kind of new for him. Maybe he's afraid he'll disappoint me or something.

"Selena…", he breathed, looking at me with these sad eyes, "What if you…don't like me…this way?"

I knew it. He's so silly.

"Justin…", I kissed him softly now, "I want the real you now. And I will love it…almost as much as I love you. Don't be afraid. Trust me."

"I do.", he whispered, kissing me again, touching my face. He turned and slid the key into the lock, opening the door as I hugged his back, laying my face on the toned muscle beneath the fluffy sweater.

He took my hand and led me into the dark apartment, kissing me again as he slammed the door closed, locking it, sealing us in together.

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