FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 12 Nov 13Age 17Last online 7 months ago

Hiya :) I'm currently new here and I'm really liking this site so far!
My hobbies include:
-playing my piano
-writing (of course ;))

I'm trying to improve my writing and hope that i get a lot of feedback and constructive criticism to help me out. While your here, you could check out my movella: Dark Magic. i'd love it if you read it. If you like it, feel free to become a fan.

Thanks for checking out my profile xx

  • xXBloodyRoseXx
    hi :) I'm loving this story, it's already brilliant. just a few little critiques from me.

    Firstly, whenever you wrote: Kaylee was very disappointed and angry with him. i personally think it's better to show how disappointed and angry Kaylee was with Gabe.
    i.e. Kaylee looked at her brother, her brows tilted into a scowl. She stormed out of the room, spitting out incoherent words that was directed at her brother.

    Secondly, Antrax is just so deadly there's no escape it's like a phantom. I would recommend placing a comma after the word escape.

    That's about it, either way your story is good! it just needs a little proof-reading and it'll be even more brilliant!

    The Red Balloon
    The Red Balloon
    Will two best friends be able to escape a forest? Or will the stalker clown claim them before anyone can help?
    4 years ago
    thanx for the feedback i love how u explained the gabe thing. I will read and feedback ASAP.
  • xXBloodyRoseXx
    Omg I love dragons! <3
    Wilde Fyre
    Wilde Fyre
    Legend speaks of a Maiden born from the fyre of a thousand dragons. Childe is an unloved, she has no family and noone but her friends to love her. Childe and her friends are on a quest to find the missing...
    4 years ago
    Thanks any thing I could improve on?
  • xXBloodyRoseXx


    HI i am new here and if you can, can you take a look at my newly published story? i welcome constructive criticism and reviews. i will critique other people's works who have critiqued my own. Thanks :)
    4 years ago
    I forgot to put my novella here but it's called: Dark Magic.
    Thanks again to everyone xx
  • xXBloodyRoseXx
    As i was reading this, i noticed you wrote cuz. i think you meant because. and for hunted me, i think its haunted. oh yes and when a character is talking, the speech isn't supposed to be in brackets.
    ie. "you always get it your way, Sasha! I'm sick of it! You always think about yourself and not anyone else," Britney exclaimed, exasperated.
    Selfish love
    Selfish love
    From the smile of the fall , came out ''melany'' . With her unhiden beauty and her spectacular intelligence she became an unsolved math problem for mostly all of the boys . From the frame of the dreams...
    love laugh live
    4 years ago
    okay . thank you !
Loading ...