FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 21 Apr 13Last online 3 weeks ago

I live in London, UK.
Going to university to study Computer Science.
I write YA Fantasy.
My favourite authors include, but are not limited to:

Melissa Marr (Wicked Lovely series)
Julie Kagawa (The Iron Fey series & Blood of Eden series)
Rick Riordan (PJ & Heroes of Olympus series)
Suzanne Collins (Hunger Games Triology)
Allen Zadoff (Boy Nobody)

  • W Mufunde

    mumbled "Hello! My progress"

    4 months agoReply
    It's been a long time since I've been on this site wow. To those few fans who've read my works you should be happy to know I'm at 100k of my novel so far! Wish me luck.
  • W Mufunde

    mumbled "I've returned"

    1 years agoReply
    Hello everyone!

    I'm not really sure I'm speaking to at the moment. I've been absent from this site for years working on my manuscripts. I'm 70,000 words into my 5th draft of Weaving Moonlight. I don't yet have my ending plotted out, but it's come to the point where I think it's worth publishing what I do have so far.

    Ordinarily I post as I write, but that always gets me into hot water. I end up writing myself into circles with no possible ending in sight. I don't think this time will be like the others. I now how four captivating characters I think you will all enjoy and I've even decided to age up my characters. I'm not 14 anymore. I'm an adult with adult problems, so I wanted my characters to reflect that. But don't worry my story is what some might call 'New Adult'. Some scenes in my new novel will have explicit sex, but I've decided to skip those chapters when I come to publish it since they are not central to the plot.

    I do hope you enjoy my novel when I get around to posting within the next week.

  • W Mufunde
    3 years agoReply
    Heya. I don't remember getting a CC review on my novel. You were offering to give CC about a month ago on the Forums. If you're not up for it anymore then I understand. Just reminding you if you have time, thanks.
    My story was:
    Project GalateaCenturies ago, the faery courts engineered 12 weapons with the aid of their pixie cousins. These weapons would help them survive the modern age of man...
    W Mufunde
    3 years ago
    Fair enough. GCSEs, or A-levels? I'm doing some exams for my 1st year at uni. Only 5 exams though, unlike my little sister doing her GCSEs. She has 22 exams because they've changed the way they do her papers. It's either changed from modular to linear or the other way around. Don't really know.
    Anyway, GOOD LUCK!
    Emma SG
    3 years ago
    12 exams here at VIA. Gotta hate Danish Colleges. They suckkkkkk.
    W Mufunde
    3 years ago
    Danish? I'm British. What subjects do you do? I do Computer Science.
  • W Mufunde
    3 years agoReply
    I'm a little confused. You describe the storm like it's sentient, which doesn't make sense. 'The storm did not hesitate'. Well of course not. It isn't alive. Whilst I'm sure you meant this as a metaphor, it sounds awkward. You mentioned that the Fates are somehow not affected by the storm, which was sent by the gods. But surely it still affects the mortals at the temple? You didn't describe the storm except at the very beginning. That makes it feel very disjointed.
    Also, are you telling me that this girl was the product of three women? Granted that the Fates are more than just women, but still. Also, why are they leaving her? Maybe you can't tell us for whatever reason, but beside the storm, which the Fates don't really seem to care about anyway, I can't really feel any sense of danger that would give them reason to leave her.
    The Anemone
    The Anemone
    3
    654
    4
    Maya is what others consider as an ugly girl. In truth, the only thing that made them say that is the birthmark across the left part of her face. Then, three boys walk into her life. The more she...
  • W Mufunde
    3 years agoReply
    1 Like
    Just read Chapter 1. You have some grammar and punctutation problems to fix. My main problem however is the story telling itself. So far there is nothing really gripping about it, and that is a problem. The first paragraph with your character getting ready was boring. In a novel where action is not the main priority, it is important that something about the characters that is of interest.
    So give your character some more attitude. How does she feel about being shoved in a boarding school? Why doesn't she say anything to her mum? Come to think of it, what does the school even LOOK like?
    You can't wait until the 3rd or 4th chapter to make things interesting. You need to grip me from the word go.
    Untold Secrets
    Untold Secrets
    4
    396
    10
    Tasha Harnett grew up in a poor family that didn't have enough money to let her do anything extracurricular as a kid. She felt neglected and bored all the time and became a rebellious teen that doesn't...
    Am Southern
    3 years ago
    Might I ask what you think I should add to grab your attention?
    W Mufunde
    3 years ago
    It's hard to say because I don't know what your story is all about. I suspect you will uncover how her mother was able to afford the private education fees.
    To make it more interesting, I suppose you should show your character's personality more. How is she going to react to being shoved off to boarding school? Obviously she hasn't just found out, so she's less likely to completely freak out. The other problem is figuring out how to give her an attitude without making her a complete jerk.
    The alternative is to just skip the whole travel part. Nothing happens here anyway.
    Am Southern
    3 years ago
    1 Like
    Thanks for the tips!!
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