MaleUnited KingdomMember since 2 Feb 12Age 37Last online 6 months ago

Winner of February 2012 Picture Prompt Contest: Smoke
Special Mention in August 2013 'Coldest Girl' Contest: We Prick You

Whitman is a writer and a dad. For thirteen years, he worked with kids in youth offending teams and children's homes. He is now writing a novel about kids with "deviant abilities".

His stories (and poems) are a house of broken mirrors. Whitman also writes no-nonsense advice for Movellians who are serious about improving as writers.

NOTE: Whitman's covers indicate the age ratings of his movellas.
Red covers = lots of grown up stuff and naughty behaviour.
Yellow covers = rude words and references to naughty behaviour.
Green covers = puppies and cupcakes (none of these yet).

  • Whitman

    mumbled "Worst Punishment Ever?"

    6 months agoReply
    Apparently, Jamie Oliver punishes his kids by feeding them chilli peppers. What's the worst punishment your parents have ever come up with? (And did it work?)
    6 months ago
    1 Like
    Classic. You got iGrounded.
  • Whitman

    mumbled "NaNoWriMo 2014 - Captain's Log - Days 11, 12, 13 & 14"

    6 months agoReply
    Where did those four days go, eh? Well, wherever they went, I got about 11,000 words out of them, so that's all good. The structural work I did on Monday has paid off, as I've hit my targets each day without really struggling. Now I need to do the same thing all over again for the third quarter of the book. That's right -- I'm on the third quarter of my novel. Feels weird typing that...

    Congratulations are due to @[Molly Looby] and @[Aunt Midnight Rogue ☕️☩], both of whom have finished (dragging each other every bloody word of the way, by the looks of it...). The numbers keeping par have dwindled a bit -- we're down to about 13 by my count, although a few of you aren't too far behind. For those falling a little behind, here's a batch of catch up tips.

    NaNoTip 11: Spreadsheets are the new silk sheets. (Okay, not really...) Here's what you're going to do. Knock up a quick spreadsheet or table, in which you record your hourly word count. You'll do this for the rest of NaNoWriMo. Why? Three reasons. One, you want to set and then beat your personal best. Two, that sort of commit to hourly word counts encourages you to write more, and the practice will help you speed up. Three, you'll have a good idea of how many hours it will take you to catch up (e.g. if you're 2,000 words behind and you write 500 words an hour, you need to find four hours somewhere).

    NaNoTip 12: Rivalry. @[Molly Looby] and @[Aunt Midnight Rogue ☕️☩] drove each other to 50K in just 11 days, by competing directly with each other. If you haven't already, buddy up with other Movellians, and push yourself past the writers just ahead of you. If they splurt out a sneaky 500 words, you need 600 words!

    NaNoTip 13: Get by with a little help. Stuck? Ask. Whatever problem you're having with your novel, chances are someone is having, or has had, the same grief. So ask. There are a lot of us on here, and you're not restriced to this one website. Don't try to dig your way out of a hole -- let a friend toss you a rope.

    NaNoTip 14: Know what your novel is like. Mine is not unlike Slated, but it's written in a voicey first person. Now, if I have a moment, I can juice the quality of what I'm writing by looking at Slated, or something like The Fault In Our Stars (which is what I'll be doing after this mumble...) But don't just read the book. Read with an eye for what is working, how effects are achived, scene length, etc.

    Okay, there are still plenty of words out there, waiting to be caught in little balls, then evolved and trained into giant fire breathing bastards, which you can then throw at people down the gym... Wait, no, that's something else... GET WRITING!!!
    Masa'a de la Rouge  ☕️☩
    It was like we were chained to each other xD
    Molly Looby
    6 months ago
    Yeah, pretty much. XD
    Masa'a de la Rouge  ☕️☩
    And the prize was the key XD
  • Whitman

    mumbled "NaNoWriMo 2014 - Captain's Log - Days 8, 9 & 10"

    6 months agoReply
    So, I have a couple of tough days, and the next time I look up, @[Evelyn Shadownight] has only gone and finished! Well done, milady, and well fought @[Molly Looby] and @[Aunt Midnight Rogue ☕️☩]. Sometimes the muse gets in you and won't let you sleep. (Other times, the muse just sits in the corner, playing with its own poop. No, muse! That's a dirty muse!)

    Myself, I got a bit stuck this weekend. Took a wrong turn in one chapter, then struggled to get back to the path. Had to spend the morning shuffling virtual index cards this morning, and re-mapped the second quarter of the novel, then wrote a cracking argument scene between my protagonist and her mum (I love writing arguments).

    So, some tips on how to crawl through the shit...

    NaNoTip 08: Don't stop. Sometimes your mental inkwell gets clogged. What are you going to do? Quit? Fuck that. Pause, if you need to. Do some chores. Go for a run. Watch the Dr Who finale. (Actually, that should be a tip in its own right. More on that later, once everyone's had time to watch it.) But don't ever let yourself stop. Even Hemingway had slow days. But it's better to fail at writing 1,667 words than it is to succeed at writing fuck all.

    NaNoTip 09: Don't panic. Round about Week Two, you'll start to get the shits. Not the bum shits. The 'my novel is shit', 'my writing is shit', even 'I'm shit and someone should just flush me away already'. Those shits. Funny thing about the shits. They're full of shit. Whatever you liked about your story to start with, it's still there. Whatever skill you had before November, you still have. You can always refine your story and you can always get better at writing, but not if you drop a bum torpedo on the whole thing. Stay calm. Work out what's not working. Then fix it. Gaiman had this with 'The Graveyard Book', apparently. For years, he kept trying to write it, but didn't feel he was a good enough writer to do the story justice. But he didn't just call the whole thing shit, thank goodness. He just got better at writing than he already was (damn him) and tried again. And again.

    NaNoTip 10: Save your best scenes. Don't write your favourite scenes on Day One, when you're pumped and full of energy (without having resorted to Irn Bru). Save them for Day Ten, when you've had a shit weekend and you need to get back on the novel before it runs away from you. What do you like writing best? What comes most easily? For me, it's dialogue, especially arguments. I love writing snipey comments, back and forth, winding my characters up until they show me what they're made of. For you, it might be something else. But know what it is, and keep one in your back pocket for the day you need a win to get your mojo back.

    Phew! That's enough mumbling for one night. Chin up everyone who hasn't managed to write 5,000 words a day for the past ten days! Still twenty pieces of the pie left.
    Masa'a de la Rouge  ☕️☩
    XD That's not the symbol for Rupees XD
    6 months ago
    ₹₹₹₹₹!!! ��
Loading ...