FemaleSwitzerlandMember since 27 May 14Last online 4 months ago

  • streetuer
    3 years agoReply
    Hey, just a quick question: the man who's doing all the kidnappings, is he a serial killer or just... I dunno, a weird killer?
    streetuer
    3 years ago
    streetuer@hotmail.com.br and no problem! ^^
    Good_vibes69
    3 years ago
    Hey, I sent chapter 2 last night but I'm not sure if you got it. Because when I was sending it I got a connection error pop up. So I'm not sure if it went through, so I was wondering, if you get a chance to check your e-mail, can you tell me if you got it or not.
    streetuer
    3 years ago
    Yep, I got it. I'm home now and I'm about to send you the first chapter and the blurb! ^^
  • streetuer
    3 years agoReply
    Hello Good_vibes69,
    I like the idea of the story a lot, it's a bit unusual and original, but you should care about the grammar and the spelling. It can turn the story a bit boring/annoying to read or even sometimes give out the wrong meaning. If your mother tongue isn't English, I understand how that can be hard, but you can always run the story through a translator, spell checker or even another writer here (I'd be glad to help you).
    Another thing: since you're writing a story with various characters that must come together to find something, is good for you (and important for readers like me, hehe) that you keep a consistent line of events. For example: in the first chapter when you're describing who'd gotten kidnapped, you said that Samantha was a good friend of Amber, and then when they were in the room and Phillip asked if anybody knew each other, they didn't say anything, and that's a bit confusing. What might help you is having a document on Word (or even here) on the side where you have the traced profile of each of these people, so whenever you're in doubt about something, you can check there. Also, it's good that you have written down what the crime was and everybody's involvement with it so, again, it won't be inconsistent when it comes for you to explain it. But yeah, these are 100% constructive critics, because I really like the idea behind the story, huh? I just want to see you improve it! Hope you keep up with it. Regards.
    Let's play a game
    Let's play a game
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    "You are all here for one reason. Your job is to find out what the reason is. I will return every 20 minutes on the dot to kill one of you if you fail to tell me why you are here. If you manage to figure...
    Good_vibes69
    3 years ago
    I have now decided not to delete it lol my friends actually talked me out of it because they said they love it and by the way my mother tongue is English I'm just not very good at writing stories this is my first time but I would love for you to help me!
    streetuer
    3 years ago
    I'm very glad your friends convinced you to keep writing it. ^^
    And sure, I can help you and probably by the middle of the story, you'll be good to go alone already, hehe. Later on today, I'll get the chapters and correct the mistakes and send it back to you, so if you like it, you can update on the story, ok? Regards.
    Good_vibes69
    3 years ago
    That will be great. Thanks!
  • streetuer
    3 years agoReply
    Wow, I loved it! Loved the way you constructed a real life around her and didn't make it easy for David. I'm really curious about the rest of the story and what happens with the children! Keep posting, please.
    Where is She?
    Where is She?
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    One year ago, David Tate found himself tangled into the mess that was created by his wife, Caroline, who is mentally ill. Just when everything's getting better and Caroline's finally becoming stable, she...
    ItsAsetup
    3 years ago
    1 Like
    I'm glad you're enjoying it.
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