FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 29 Jan 13Age 20Last online 1 years ago

Amateur human behaviour enthusiast.

  • Serendipitist
    Like water this story is clear, flowing and an essential (read). The characters are very vivid and easy to get into to, the contrast of the driver and bubbles to the main story line help gravitate the story and give it a lovely familiarity. The plot is original and handled beautifully, word choice is again pristine perfection. This is a winning story by a very talented writer - only a fool would think otherwise
    Like Water
    Like Water
    2
    1006
    3
    A boy and a girl travel cross-country to one another, trying to decide whether to run away from their family and religion to marry.
  • Serendipitist
    This is my favourite movella possibly ever. I can't put into words my awe of the raw, subtle power you have with words. Perfection in it's sweetest form. You put feelings onto paper that i didn't know could be written and beautifully too.
    Discretionary consciousness
    Discretionary cons...
    3
    3052
    2
    Reevaluation of self and perception of the world after ending a passionate affair. There is a lack of discretion without another to review your thoughts and correct their feral nature. To be stripped...
    Alexander Ròscarrow
    I don't believe I've ever been given a compliment as insightful. I don't expect to ever recieve a better compliment. Thank you sincerely I feel justified and moved.
  • Serendipitist
    This is the most thought-provoking poem I've read in a very long time. Beautifully written with real honesty and understanding. A true analysis of the human condition. Very well done. Only suggestion would be to perhaps split the piece into different stanzas, just to allow the reader time to think about each point individually for example a new stanza at "Perhaps unknowingly" Exceptional piece, thank you for sharing it!
    The Key
    The Key
    4
    532
    4
    Ian Gallon
    4 years ago
    I will try it in separate stanzas! Thank you for your comments, they are very generous.
    I wrote another poem called 'The Key'which you might care to read
    The Key (2)This is about Life- the way we all want to fit in with a group, to be friends with the most popular girl/boy, to be accepted by the 'in' crowd who know...

    Ian
  • Serendipitist
    I think you're very talented and this is your best piece! Really pulled on my heart strings, beautiful words beautifully written!
    Our Love
    Our Love
    4
    529
    6
    There are times when we find we no longer love someone, and we don't want to cause unnecessary hurt.......
    Ian Gallon
    4 years ago
    Thank you for your generous words!
  • Serendipitist
    This is so wonderful, I can't believe it's your first! Honestly the poem is so subtly brilliant and effortlessly relatable, and is tied up beautifully at the end, you're very talented!x
Loading ...