FemaleUnited StatesMember since 8 Sep 13Last online 1 years ago

Okay so, I love reading and writing just about anything. I have a really bad habit of writing stories and not finishing them, a habit I have broken only once with my novel True Heart. I love horses and hope to someday be a professional gamer (a rider who does barrel racing, pole bending, etc.). I am a self-taught pianist and I play soccer year round. I can speak a handful of German, Spanish, French and a whole lot of English. Grammar mistakes bug me but to be entirely truthful I am terrible at grammar. I write every day and love filming movies with my friends and family.

  • Ranae Forester
    Great story! I love how your story is told from the point of view of the zombie and you did it very well. Also, good job going out of your comfort zone to tell the story from a guy's point of view (I did that but I'm still not sure I want to share it on movellas) The only thing I really see that could use a little work is the descriptions of feelings. You hit the point of he isn't in control of his own body a lot(which is good, don't get me wrong) I suggest that you add lines where you show what he's feeling rather than telling. For example, he seemed sad (not saying yours is like this, in fact yours is much much much better but I'm just using this as a general example) can be changed to, his happiness melted off him and was replaced by heart wrenching sorrow. Other than that, I'd say your story is in pretty good shape. :)
    Sadistic Pleasure
    Sadistic Pleasure
    11
    794
    8
    A Zombie story, just not from the victims point of view..... (Credit to @VemJ for cover)
    Ashlee Renee
    2 years ago
    Thank you so much! :)
    Yeah it was pretty tricky writing from a guys point of view, took me a bit to get used to it :P
    Thank for the CC, I'll defenitly take it into account :)
  • Ranae Forester
    I like your idea. It's very creative and really the only advice I have is to lengthen the relationships between your main character and other characters (show not tell). If you go to mariavsnyder.com (she is an amazing author from PA) she has a whole section called Writing Advice. I know I used her advice all the time for my stories to make them better...Hope I could help :)
    Hard life.
    Hard life.
    1
    88
    3
    Avery Hansel is a girl that had a few things that are hard. Her parents beat each other up. She goes through dangerous times. She has a huge secret that she doesn't know and her parents never told her....
    Dark Marie
    3 years ago
    Thank u for the advice I really appreciate it
  • Ranae Forester
    Um, Val, I believe that when you said in the third paragraph towards the bottom, "pooping myself up" you meant to say "propping myself up". At least I hope you were meaning to say that...lol
    Safe and Sound
    Safe and Sound
    5
    672
    8
    I see her rise from her fall. She trudges out of water in a bloodied white gown. Wings are twisted around her body twitching with every breeze. She looks up to the starry sky not angry, but confused. I...
  • Ranae Forester
    Why does Keenan sound familiar?
    Realilty
    Realilty
    1
    267
    3
    Anastasia is a writer and discovers as her old life comes crashing back and her book becomes reality, how powerful her words are.
    Ranae Forester
    3 years ago
    Wasn't that the name of the kid on the white water rafting but across from us who also happened to be a tall blond?
    Ranae Forester
    3 years ago
    Lol sry
  • Ranae Forester
    First of all, kudos to you on description. I suffer from lack of description therefore I admire anyone who can write descriptively and not lose the reader's interest. I really have nothing critical to say and the only thing I can think of to say is; keep writing it. This story definitely has the potential to go somewhere you just need to figure out where and write it!
    Library
    Library
    4
    167
    5
    One shot about a handsome stranger in a university library. May continue this if there's enough demand
    Emma_1994
    3 years ago
    thank you, i do have ideas on where to take it
Loading ...