FemaleUnited StatesMember since 5 Jan 15Last online 2 years ago

I write because I enjoy doing so. I post my writing because I want the world to see it and help me improve.

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  • PadfootNeverFalls
    1 Like
    Hey there
    I love the way that Reuben talks about Carmelita. I also love her name.
    -- There should be a comma between 'I love her' and 'oh god'
    -- I find it awful that someone would sell cigarettes, even the electric kind, to year sevens
    -- I like the way that Carmelita narrates. She sounds very educated.
    I've only read the first two chapters. I'll finish the rest and get back to you. :)
    - Rain
    The Painted Secrets of Carmelita Hawthorn
    The Painted Secret...
    131
    17.7k
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    A WELL KNOWN FACT: Carmelita Hawthorn is hardly popular. A LESSER KNOWN FACT: She's also the one painting people's secrets on the walls of Lower Danford Grammar School. A BLATANT LIE: Reuben Dovey...
    Mirlotta
    2 years ago
    Thank you so much for the feedback! :)
    - Yeah, I think it's horrible selling cigarettes to year sevens as well. I put it in because there was a boy in my year (he got expelled) doing exactly that and I wanted to make the story more realistic. :)
    Thanks again! :D
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