FemaleUnited StatesMember since 1 May 13Last online 4 years ago

purple-twaddle.

twad·dle /ˈtwädl/ : n. Trivial or foolish speech or writing; nonsense. Synonyms: piffle, gab, poppycock; waffle, babble, chatter.

Some of my favorites: Sense of an Ending. The Catcher in the Rye. A Wrinkle in Time. To Kill a Mockingbird. What My Mother Doesn't Know. Heart of Darkness. The House on Mango Street. The God of Small Things. Fruits Basket.
Some of my favorite authors: Mark Haddon. Claude Simon. Ted Hughes. Shakespeare. Jerry Spinelli. Francis Ponge. Arthur Miller. John Patrick Shanley. Joyce Carol Oates.

Lives in London, studies at Exeter, from NYC. Intern at Movellas.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. If you do, you start missing everybody."

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

"Damn this cancer called nostalgia," she sobbed. "Damn the past."

"An’ they chased him ‘n’ never could catch him ‘cause they didn’t know what he looked like, an’ Atticus, when they finally saw him, why he hadn’t done any of those things... Atticus, he was real nice....”
His hands were under my chin, pulling up the cover, tucking it around me.
“Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.”

twitter.com/frecklesx
nilufar@movellas.com

Email if needed
xxxxx

  • purpletwaddle

    mumbled "BACK! :)"

    1 Like
    Hey everyone! :D I'm back after a loooong break and a massive holiday. I haven't been on Movellas for so long... It feels odd. Unnatural.
    How is everyone?! I will try my best in the next few days to get back to the 3-4 people I still needed to give feedback to, that's a promise :) I'm also going to post up some more of my work soon - bit of poetry, and maybe a silly little story I wrote when I was 13-14.
    On a related note, what's everyone been up to/reading? Just finished Ghosts of Manhattan (loved it) and somehow gobbled up the first Mortal Instruments book when I was on the plane. Now nearly done with the second one. I don't know what my opinion on the series is yet; it's a bit of an odd mix of addictive and predictable. For those of you who have read it, what did you think?
    Anyway, I'm excited to be back :) Hope everyone's doing well and keep writing!
    Justheretowrite
    4 years ago
    Hi, sorry to bother you, I was looking for a way to delete my account but I can't seem to find anything in the settings. if you could let me know what to do, it would be much appreciated, thanks a bunch. :)
    purpletwaddle
    4 years ago
    Hi, that's not a problem. There's no feature for deleting your account in the settings, so it's normal you couldn't find it. Unfortunately, I'm no longer an admin as I no longer work at Movellas so I can't delete your account for you. However, if you'd like your account deleted, please email support@movellas.com with your username and the link to your profile. Good luck and let me know if you have problems with this :)
  • purpletwaddle
    1 Like
    Hi! This is really good. Definitely submit more poetry :)
    I love the simplicity of it. Noticed one typo (should be "when your heart") and the repeated "All' falls a bit awkward. What is the "all" meant for - all hearts, or all people, or something else? The way you've described it, it's a bit unclear. Other than that though, as I said, I really like this! Well done and keep it up :)
    Hearts
    Hearts
    6
    631
    11
    Hearts, they get broken They get stolen...
    A.T.R
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    Thank you SO much for your comment :D
    purpletwaddle
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    you're welcome :)
  • purpletwaddle
    Hi LoveoftheMusic, know I said I'd get back to you a while ago, and I'm really sorry for the delay. But thanks for waiting. Here are my comments:
    1) Good start. I like the overlap of Nilanna's POV and Harry's POV. I like the breakup of the chapters, I like the title of the story (and the chapters), and overall think the whole thing is really well organized. I think you're a good writer, who knows what she's doing. You've chosen an interesting plot, and I really like the way you've developed it.
    2) I've only read to "His Side" but think this is a good plot, and you should definitely continue with it. Your idea is strong, and could go far. I like that you've thought out the plot, and taken the time to execute it properly :)
    3) As I said, you write well, and I don't see a lot of mistakes. A few typos, grammatical mistakes, and spelling errors here and there, but nothing disruptive. Overall, your story flows really well and is an easy read.
    There you go - hope my comments have helped! I like that you've taken a bit of a deeper spin to your average 1D fanfic, and you've put effort into it. 1D fanfiction is not really my thing, but I can definitely appreciate that there are some talented writers out there who write about it. With a bit of work on some of your sentences, and proof-reading, I can tell that you're one of them :)
    Danger's Match
    Danger's Match
    31
    1227
    38
    Being an orphan is never easy. That's why Arella keeps herself safe by being street smart. However, after living in foster care for 7 years, she finally gets adopted by her very own brother Harry. Even...
    LoveOfTheMusic
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    Thanks for the luck! I hope you're enjoying your interning job! :) And I don't mind the wait! The feedback makes up for it :)
    purpletwaddle
    4 years ago
    My internship just ended, actually! But yes it was lovely, thank you :) And aw appreciate it, am definitely here to help whenever you need me! Just give me a shout and I'll do my best :)
    LoveOfTheMusic
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    Will do! Thanks alot!! :)
  • purpletwaddle
    Hi Annie, sorry for the delay on my feedback, know I said I'd review some of your work. So without further delay, here are my comments:
    1) The minute I saw this I knew it was something promising. Your descriptions - my god, exquisite. You have such a natural way with words; I could tell the second I started that you're an avid reader.
    2) I just love the beginning, and how we're immediately plunged into his world. It's phenomenal, and your prologue is strong, to say the least.
    3) * "Watford scanned the room uneasily"
    4) "menacing shock through the air" falls a bit awkward
    5) "longing for another sip of whisky" makes it a bit more natural than "his" and no capitalization is needed for "whisky"
    6) I would change "whoever was standing behind the door (…)" to "There was a second knock" as it's more powerful and mirrors well with the first line "There was a knock at the door."
    7) I would change "There was a silence (….) more timid" to "Silence. Another knock, this time more timid." because again, it's more poignant and creates a better sense of atmosphere than "there was." When writing, it's good to remember that the same way in dialogue it's good to avoid too many "he said/she said"s, in descriptions, it's also good to be wary of too many "there was/It was." Any unnecessary descriptive statements tend to fall flat bc they are used so much. As the famous idiom dictates, "show, don't tell." It's hard to stick with, but a good lesson to remember if you're trying to create an impression and distinguish yourself from the crowd.
    8) * "(…)as his eyes adjusted to the brightly lit corridor, but his stomach" etc.
    9) * "and her startling blue eyes". And remember, it's not the burning that was questioning, so try to switch this around.
    10) Some minor punctuation errors here and there. Should be: "Daddy?" she repeated, slightly louder, more desperate. "Where are you?" etc. Same with "Are you there, Daddy?" the girl sobbed. "Can you hear me?" etc.
    11) "The man stood in the doorway turned his head" is a bit incorrect and sounds awkward. I would simply switch this to "He turned his head, trying to send" etc.
    12) May I just say the following section is absolutely lovely :) So bittersweet and powerful. Love that it was all a dream in his head. I love that we are given, so early on, a glimpse at his inner turmoil.
    13) * "Watford knew he was the type Teneta didn't like"
    14) Know this might've simply been a format error, but you don't need to jump to the next line for each piece of dialogue. Noticed this happens throughout, so don't know if it's simply a format error.
    15) Again, be careful with punctuation when it comes to dialogue. It should be: Watford halted. "Morris left (…)" Same with next line: should be period, not a comma.
    16) I would put "feeling around for the small" instead of "reassuringly". You use a lot of adverbs, I've noticed, and sometimes it becomes a bit excessive. When writing, think of what's necessary, and what can be discarded. Being precise and descriptive is good, but you don't want it to become overwhelming. So just tread carefully with adverbs :)
    17) In the following dialogue sequence, same problem. Rule to remember: UNLESS it is an unfinished sentence, a period should be there instead of a comma.
    Ok, so that's my feedback on the first chapter. My comments are all editing suggestions, so please disregard them if you disagree. Also, I'm sorry I've written so much and been so specific, but hope I've helped. And keep it up! You're such a gifted writer, I have no doubt that with some more practice you will go very far. Scratch that, you already have - SYM Shortlist 2013, anyone? ;) Haha congratulations Annie, and it was so lovely getting to know you! :)
    PS. Here are some comments from the rest of the staff and the RA on your overall novel: "Sophisticated, plot-driven, restrained and tightly crafted. Writing is well paced, though needs a bit more tension. Story is both original and interesting."
    Mendacii Key
    Mendacii Key
    17
    2952
    20
    When Teneta uncover Samuel Watford’s lost will, they discover that he never destroyed the Mendacii Key, the key to bring them down: he has hidden it, passed it on to the one person who can finish his work....
    Annie.G
    4 years ago
    Hi Nilu, I can't believe I didn't see this till now!
    Thank you so much, this is so amazingly valuable! This is all so helpful! You'll be glad to know that this summer I've really cracked down on those nasty commas in what I'm writing at the moment. I think I need to go through the whole of this novel and fix that, but thanks for pointing it out!
    All those little corrections and suggestions are brilliant as well, thank you. I see what you mean about building up the tension more. Fewer adverbs, fewer adverbs *mumbles to self repeatedly* yes, that makes sense! Also, I'm not sure there's much of an example in this chapter, but I do think I'm rather a sufferer of 'he said' 'she said' which I think goes hand in hand with those adverbs. ;) Less can be more, right? I'll keep that in mind. Horribly long sentences aren't great in tense scenes!
    I plan very much to come back to this once my current novel is finished. Hopefully with that little bit more time to mature my mind and grammar, I can do more with it. Thank you so much for this! If feedback was a metal, this would definitely be gold!
    My best wishes to everyone at HQ :D xxx
  • purpletwaddle
    Hi JK - I am finally getting back to you :) I'm so sorry for the delay, and thanks for all your patience. Here are my comments:
    1) This is a really good idea, and a gripping beginning. There's a lot of potential here, and I like the way you ended it. The tension is definitely built within this chapter.
    2) * "Nevertheless" as one word
    3) Your first few paragraphs could be a little more punchy. While I understand that the beginning is slow for a reason and picks up with time, it still could be more engaging.
    4) To add onto my third point, maybe try to make your descriptions pop a bit more: make us understand why you're telling us this. Does the description give insight into the character's personality? Just try to describe things without making them sound too informational - know it's tough, but it's a good skill to develop to draw your reader in with a gripping beginning. One tip is to avoid the 'There is' / 'was' statements. In your first few paragraphs, you use a lot of "It was" and "I had"s, so try to lessen these to make your descriptions a bit more lively, if possible. A good tip to remember is to use the 'I was.... Because' method, where a description is given an explanation, so we know why the information is there. It's not a perfect technique, but it's a good way to start. And it's an easy practice.
    5) No grammatical/spelling issues from what I can see, so well done :) Only issues I noticed were really minor punctuation ones, to do with dialogue. (i.e. It should be '"I'm okay, mum," I said' and '"I have an idea," she stated.')
    6) You're a natural, practiced story-teller, I can tell. I don't have to look at the number of movellas you have to know you've been writing for a while now. You definitely know what you're doing, and you're well practiced at it. So all I have left to say is well done, and keep it up! You definitely know how to spin a story, come up with an engaging plot, and build tension, and that's a skill to master, so bravo :) I can tell that you've been writing long enough to be comfortable with your writing, which is equally impressive. So just keep reading and writing as much as you do, and you're set :) Hope my comments helped a bit!
    Wolf Boy & Me
    Wolf Boy & Me
    40
    1866
    56
    The boy that climbs through your bedroom window has a connection with the new boy that turns up at your school in the middle of the year, who has a connection with the wolf sightings that have been seen...
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