FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 24 Feb 15Age 15Last online 2 years ago

  • Porcelain
    2 years agoReply
    Can I get a cover?
    Title: The Somewhat Tragic Tale of an Incredibly Narcissistic Unicorn
    Author: Me!
    Ideas: A cartoon pink unicorn, dragon, mermaid, stuff like that.
    Porcelain
    2 years ago
    Please?
    Le Fox
    2 years ago
    I'll get to work right away!
  • Porcelain
    2 years agoReply
    Oh, this is really, really cool! The idea is very original, and well-thought out. You have clearly spent a lot of time working on this, and it really shows in the piece. There are very few things that sort ... Well, they don't downgrade the piece as such, but they're just sort of things that confused me.

    1 - The main character's name. Haydrienne and Isabella doesn't sound like a good sort of pairing for sisters, and I think Haydrienne, if we were going on names alone, sounds more like she had the same parents as Sorianne, whose name is also very unusual. I think Sorianne's name works, but as for Haydrienne ... Not so much. Maybe make her name a bit more similar to Isabelle's: Something like Leah, or Eleanor, maybe Sally or Alicia. (Slightly inspired by Malory Towers, those last two, I know.)

    2 - I am only on chapter three, but there hasn't really been any mention of why she murdered Isabelle,which I find slightly odd. After all, you started the story off with he rkilling he rsister; I'd like to know what actually happened.

    3 - Wayward girls who beat people up, are teenaged, but have never once seemed to have sworn in their lives. Though I know this is purely up to you, but I think it would work a bit better if they did swear a couple of times, and if you're not comfortable with actually using the words, you could put it in asterisks.


    Other than those, this is honestly amazing, so please write more soon!
    plunder.
    plunder.
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    "When I get old," drawled Sorianne slowly, flicking her smile across the table, "I'm going to be richer than my daddy is now. And I don't care if I have to lie, or steal, or plunder my way through life...
    Porcelain
    2 years ago
    @[Mirlotta]
    Mirlotta
    2 years ago
    Oh, thank you so much! This is really helpful; I'll edit those things as soon as I can. :)
  • Porcelain

    mumbled "Hello"

    2 years agoReply
    1 Like
    Hi there, people of Movellas! I'm new here, and I'd really like to get to know you lovely people. My name's Charlena, but please call me Charlie, because Charlena is the stupidest name on the planet. Anyway, yeah. (By the way, if anyone wants to fangirl over The Hobbit, Sherlock, Harry Potter or Divergent, you're more than welcome to talk to me. In fact, if you love all those listed as much as I do, I shall force you to fangirl with me. Not kidding. XD )
    Porcelain
    2 years ago
    I'll go check it out!
    TheReturn
    2 years ago
    K
    TheReturn
    2 years ago
    Are you enjoying
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