FemaleNew ZealandMember since 29 Jun 12Last online 3 years ago

WhostolemyjellybabiesUK RESIDENTS ONLY ASDFGHJKL; JUST LIKE SO MANY OTHER COMPS THESE DAYS
Dont forget us international movellians!!
3 years ago
  • Whostolemyjellybabies
    Wow so good!! Amazing, in fact! Really well written, quality of the writing is great, the plot and set up is gripping and I WANT TO READ MORE!
    Update pleease :)
    The 76th Hunger Games
    The 76th Hunger...
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         "Grandma?"      "Yes, dear?"      "Are you trying to say that we are going to be part of those games?"      Katniss hesitates for a while, she shakes her head no but looks down so she won't have...
    palola
    3 years ago
    Thank you so much, it makes me so happy to read such a comment, I really appreciate it! Since this is my senior year at school, I barely have free time but I promise to write whenever I have some, I have already written the fourth and fifth chapters, I just need to edit them... Again, thank you :D
  • Whostolemyjellybabies
    Okay, this is really good, the plot has a great set up and it draws the reader in.
    As for some constructive feedback...
    - Be careful with your use of grammar. It may seem boring and restricting, but correct grammar is incredibly important in making the reader enjoy reading your story. It also helps the story to flow more when being read.
    - Dont overuse 'I.' This can be hard when writing in the first person, but you need to try to start more of your sentances with something other than 'I'. This makes the writing more exciting and rich.
    - Make sure that all 'I' that you do use are a capital.
    - Pay attention to spelling - or write on word and let the computer do it for you!

    Overall though this is really good, I cant wait to read the rest!
    love
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    My name is Elizabeth. My mother passed away when I was young and my dad kicked me out. I have been told that weird things have been happening around me but I don't believe what people say. My life was...
    mickymouse101
    3 years ago
    Awwww thank you so much !
  • Whostolemyjellybabies
    This is a promising start, I can see this leading up to something epic...
    Great quality of writing, too. You've set up your characters really well, they're believable but still leave some things hidden, which keeps the reader asking questions and makes them want to keep reading.
    Can't wait to read the rest of this!
    The People
    The People
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    Blair has never followed things she's truly felt. A seemingly strong girl that has hopes to make the others around her happy, no matter what it costs to her own happiness. But re-occuring dreams are beginning...
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