FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 3 Dec 13Last online 4 years ago

Welcome!

  • Messy
    4 years agoReply
    I enjoyed reading your story. There were a few grammatical errors but it was easy enough to read, the description of the characters were good and the story in all was actually quite engaging. If you ever decided to 'improve' it, I think the main thing it needs is characters with more personality - I didn't feel like we got to know Jane and Fred very well, only that they were nice, kind owners. But despite that, it was still a fun story to read and definitely one of the best horse ones I've seen on here. :)
    My Story
    My Story
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    'My name is Tilly, I'm seventeen years old, the place I now live in was once a buzz of energy, I was once a farm horse, I once lived with an old man who spoiled me rotten, I was once meant to become a...
    bookworm121
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    thanx for ur comment!! I know I need 2 go over it and improve it, I just haven't found the time xD But I will try to soon :D
  • Messy
    4 years agoReply
    I like your story so far. The first few paragraphs didn't have much happening in them but once Tris met the other students and befriended Jayde and Lila it became more interesting. I'd like to get to know Jayde and Lila a bit more though - you don't hear much of their own horses and backgrounds yet they instantly became friends with Tris. And despite the plot and Ally's attitude being overused, it's good so far and I'd like to read more. :)
    Coastal Valley Equestrian School
    Coastal Valley Equ...
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    Tris Campbell has been accepted into one of the best equestrian schools in the country. She makes new friends and enemies and forms a stronger bond with her horse.
    FeliscisFeather19734
    1 Like
    Thanks a lot for the critique. I love it when people comment nice long comments and trust me I don't get mad at people. My writing at the beginning of the sort is usually meh but it gets better. :-)
  • Messy
    4 years agoReply
    Nice title and opening sentence. I noticed a few grammatical errors and I think that paragraphs would make your story a lot easier to read, but so far good job! :)
    Cloud 9
    Cloud 9
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    Want a nice story, maybe about a bond between horse and grl, then here you are, you've found !Perfection!
  • Messy
    4 years agoReply
    This looks like the start of a good sequel to Wolf Girl. I think that so far Willow is my favourite character - she's comes across as nosy and nice-natured but too scared to stand up for herself. I bet that when you first started writing the story you planned to get the wolf pack to teach her how to stand up for herself? :P It doesn't look like you've added another chapter for a while though.
    Wolf Girl 2 - She Wolf
    Wolf Girl 2 - She...
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    It has been 14 years since Amber saw the wolves and, every night she would hear there howls for her to come back. She sometimes replied but very rarely for it broke her heart to hear their longing. She...
    WerewolfLuva
    4 years ago
    I havent had time to :( I've been busy with other books.... and I have the attention span of a gnat so that doesn't help ..... ;) lol
  • Messy
    4 years agoReply
    I agree with most of these but I admit that I was guilty of faking an injury for school sports day once. :P
    Things that annoy me
    Things that annoy...
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    Congrats to me for 25 minutes of ranting on about what annoys me! This is where I complain about things that annoy me- and you are very welcome to help me out so comment below what annoys YOU! I am always...
    AntiAndres
    4 years ago
    i do it only if my muscles are super sore and moving is like a bullet at you when you move, then i say i stabbed my foot with a pencil (Which actually happened to me) and i get to sit on the bench for the rest of P.E
    WerewolfLuva
    4 years ago
    LOL!!! :D
    AntiAndres
    4 years ago
    True though
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