FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 5 Dec 14Last online 2 years ago

Feminist/ Potter Head/ Shadow Hunter/ Supernatural/ TVD/ Marvel/ Fall Out Boy/ My Chemical Romance and so much more :D
Feel free to message me!
Peace out,
Megan

  • MeganMadness

    mumbled "Hey guys!"

    1 Like
    So I just published my first story on here and I'd really appreciate it if you'd give it a read! It'd mean a lot!
    Thanks,
    Megan
  • MeganMadness
    In chapter two, That Night, I think maybe there could be a bit more description of her freaking out. Or is there a certain limit to how much you can write, and description would waste your words?
    But yeah I think maybe in chapter two there could be more of her freaking out about seeing her own body in bed.
    Also in the chapter (I can't remember which one it is, sorry) but when you split the sentence up so
    It
    Goes
    Like
    This
    I don't really know if that's very effective to have there. Maybe you could think of another sentence to write to make it have the same effect?
    I think it was really good though, I like how it was an elderly character because we don't see a lot of main elderly characters in young adult novels, they are mainly just teenagers or something.
    I like how the chapters are showing her deterioration over a period of time.
    Good job!
    Gone
    Gone
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    *Entry for the Project Remix Competition* It's based upon the extract from 'If I stay' and is inspired by the idea that you can live outside your own body, but is written from a completely different perspective....
    Alice♫
    2 years ago
    Thank you so much for the feedback! Yeah, there is a limited amount of words for the competition and I had to cut out about 1,500 words, so that's probably why it's lacking description in a lot of places. If I could though, I would change it so she freaked out a bit more as I totally agree with you.
    Thanks again for commenting :)
  • MeganMadness
    I already love this from the first sentence :')
    We are the Damned
    We are the Damned
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    'We are the Damned, and we Damn you.' Meet Kear: Deadly, dangerous, and damned for all eternity to live in the Mantle, a Level of the world ablaze with fire and a spark of torture. Very few are ever...
    Le Fox
    2 years ago
    Thank you! :)
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