FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 23 Mar 13Age 20Last online 4 years ago

  • Maddie.
    4 years agoReply
    This is really good work. You really do have a talented and original approach to writing! The description is very good and I love the mysterious edge you have in the story. Your vocabulary is very diverse and put to good effect. One tip I would give is to just give it a bit of an edit as in some places punctuation etc is a tad off. For example capitals etc. I get it, I hate them too ;) Well done and keep going :D xx
    Temptation
    Temptation
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    Sequel to 'Deliver Us From Evil'. Even after nine long years Aiden and Ava are still combating to disremember their horrific past that still haunts them. But what lengths will each damaged soul go to try...
  • Maddie.
    4 years agoReply
    Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this :/ I think it is really clever and very well put together so far. Keep going you do have a talent for writing! In some places perhaps work on your description but otherwise it's very well done :D xx
    That's life.
    That's life.
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    This is story about a girl, a boy, and the person that stands between them. It's about a brother, a useless aunt and a missing dad. It's about an overworked Mum, a twin and 7 year old that grew up too...
  • Maddie.
    4 years agoReply
    Just one thing to start, the "31st" of February does not exist. Generally it's very good. You have a nice basis for a story and it seems very well thought out and is a pleasure to read. In some places I feel like you could have grabbed the reader a bit more. Overall very Good keep going! Oh one last thing, the sentence Biggest mistake of my life is very hard to read and I feel it's somewhat out of place as it breaks the fluidity. I feel it would be better without it? Well done though :D
    Living in Fame's Shadow
    Living in Fame's...
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    Living up to expectations is all Bree Jenkins, daughter of world famous singer Carl Jenkins and ex-model Linsey Pearson, has ever done. It seems as though everything she does in her glamorous, celebrity...
    Rachael P
    4 years ago
    It may not be completely grammatically correct, but it still can be done.
    Maddie.
    4 years ago
    It can be done but it is incorrect and irritating to read.
    Rachael P
    4 years ago
    Thank you for your feedback, we do appreciate it. What you said about the 'biggest mistake of my life' is your opinion. I like what she wrote. EllzBellz likes it to, so we're not going to change it, but thank you anyway. :)
  • Maddie.
    4 years agoReply
    There's way too much information in this first part to take in, you need to try to grab the audience in some way like give them a hint of what's to come? I do like the line "Well that's a bit about my life on with the story" But it needs embedding more. Also one of my pet hates is numbers instead of words and watch your grammar :)
    One chance
    One chance
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    Hey this is my first movella so please enjoy!! Tee thought her life was perfect... until she realised it was more than perfect! it turned out her uncles friend taught harry and was no his coach. Personally...
    Maddie.
    4 years ago
    The second chapter is much more readable well done :D
    Libby Gosling
    4 years ago
    thanks :)
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