MaleUnited StatesMember since 4 Oct 12Age 49Last online 3 years ago

An author from Los Angeles California.

  • M. Lord DahnMichael
    Good job of staying on point and keeping the action moving. Dialog is very good and characterization is good (the characters are well defined and and consistent) that appears to be your strong point. Is it possible to have some sort of description so we can find out who Candice is in chapter one? By chapter two I would hope for more background.
    Panic Struck.
    Panic Struck.
    Candice Follen is 15, and an average teenage girl. When walking to school, a car being chased hits Candice full on, and Candice is sent into a coma. After a few days, Candice is back on her feet, but somethings...
  • M. Lord DahnMichael
    You are a very good writer. The scenes move fast. the character motivations are clear and consistant.
    Callie Westleigh is a normal 15 year old, with nothing interesting in particular. Niall Horan is a teen sensation, in the biggest boyband in the world. Callie is always putting herself down, telling...
  • M. Lord DahnMichael
    Well done. Thanks for this.
    Eat My Word Splurge
    Eat My Word Splurg...
    If you read nothing else on this site, you must read this. It may save you from committing ritual suicide in front of your family. NOTE: Formerly known as "Hot to Write a Story That Doesn't Suck" and...
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