FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 13 Jun 12Last online 33 minutes ago

Proud member of the Maverick family.
*Creepypasta Family* - Laughing Jack.

So about me...well I'm 16, devoutly weird, one-third-Agent, one-third-Lone Survivor of a rebel group, and one-third-Commandress of the most controversial of the genres.
Yes, they can go together.

I am a Key of the Gate, a member of The Gateway Army!

I'm also an ambassador, so if you've got any questions about the site, getting your movella noticed, or anything like that, drop a message and I'll answer any question.

So to you today,
I will put my hand on my heart,
And say my oath to Movellas:

I promise to stay,
I promise to fight to the end.
I will not be lead astray,
I will stand by you my friend.
To Movellas I will remain loyal,
I will not fall to the uprising danger.
We are the kind of Royal,
Even with any stranger.
We have not given in,
And I never will.
I will turn from this sin,
And write with my electronic 'quill.'
Here I am, about to fall apart,
On my knees, hand on heart.
I will fight to the bitter end,
I will defend from this bloody war.
Fight against this rising trend,
So join me as I walk through this door.

  • Ms Holly
    6 days agoReply
    Right, here's my constructive criticism.

    Your paragraph spacing is a bit off. I'd try spacing each paragraph with just a single Enter, as it makes it easier to read.
    Line 3, you missed an end quotation mark.
    This should be "I said, pulling her into a hug." You missed out the comma.
    I'd try connecting your sentences so they flow, as it can read a bit disjointed at times, and a bit stop-start-ish.
    Paragraph four would read better if broken into two where it says "Ana, come here."
    You don't need to double-space after full stops.
    You should put the book series title like this: 'The Darkness The Surrounds Me'.
    Immediately is spelled wrong.
    The large chunk of text could be broken up into at least 3.
    This sentence should be "Ana said, her voice grave." You missed a comma.

    Overall, I really like the story idea, and where it's going. I'm pretty intrigued to see what happens to Sylvia, and the family.
    Keep writing! :)
    Secrets in the Dark
    Secrets in the Dar...
    16
    115
    14
    Sylvia doesn't want to get married. She feels forced and pushed into it. Sylvia doesn't even know who she is marrying. Or does she? Will she and her husband figure out all the society' secrets or will...
    Hermione10
    6 days ago
    Can u plz follow me
    Ms Holly
    6 days ago
    Alright.
    Hermione10
    6 days ago
    Thanks!
  • Ms Holly
    6 days agoReply
    Whoever reviews this, can you do from Chapter 2 onwards please?
    HalfBloodKanya - A name, a mix, an incarnation. She was raised in a realm of flame and scale, living with the serpentine drakes she rides and controls, taming...
    Ms Holly
    6 days ago
    You don't have to CC all the further chapters.
  • Modern Queen

    mumbled "TBH 7."

    @[Ms Holly ]

    1. TBH, I don't know you well, or I know you well, you just changed your pen name
    2. TBH, we have to talk more cx (I say that on a lot of my tbh's, shows how much friends I have right)
    3. TBH, hmmm....I'll get back to you on that one

  • Ms Holly

    Prepare For The Past

    1 weeks agoReply
    2 Likes
    Old actions return to the front of our worlds, as we strive forward to create the new.
    Ms Holly
    5 hours ago
    OOC: [I love you too. <3 :) Though I weep for humanity. The kid representing UKIP in the mock election (nicknamed Schroedinger's Douchebag) has made a party political video. I weep for humanity.]
    Charr-Ie-Al the Fool
    OOC: [Schroedinger's Douchebag? What's with the unfortunate nickname?]
    Ms Holly
    29 minutes ago
    OOC: [He is a total douche, and earned his nickname. According to him, until someone calls him out on it, really offensive (sexist, homophobic, racist, rape jokes, cancer jokes, self-harm jokes, and other REALLY offensive ones) jokes are both acceptable and unacceptable at the same time. Yet as nobody calls him out on it (because if they do he'll find something they're very sensitive about and deliberately target that) he carries on. He is possibly the biggest c**t in 6th Form.]
Loading ...