FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 27 Jan 13Age 18Last online 8 hours ago

Fiction writer and book lover.
(I also make book covers)
My 'to be read' pile will always be huge.

I am also currently doing a degree in Interior Design + Architecture but writing has always been one of my favourite things in the world. Since the age of about 11 I have wanted to publish a book.

My favourite books are any by Terri Terry to be honest (especially the Slated Trilogy and Mind Games) and of course Harry Potter! I may have read them over 10 times each...

  • Lily Anna

    mumbled "Updates!"

    5 days agoReply
    I'm going on holiday for about a week so I just uploaded about five chapters at once because I probably will forget to do it for a little while. Hope you enjoy! :)
    Claw Marks and CorridorsFelicity saw something she shouldn't have. A dead girl in the bathroom at school. Not just any girl, Robin Cross, the head girl. Since that night all she's...

    In other news, I'm writing something new as well which is kind of exciting. I will at some point go back and edit the above work but I'm giving it a break first! My head is literally exploding with other ideas so I'm just writing so many random things right now.

    Also I didn't realise it was Friday the 13th and I've never been that superstitious about it but something bad happened today so it's just a bit spooky. In all seriousness it's probably just a coincidence it happened today :s
    Lily Anna
    5 days ago
    1 Like
    Only to Kent, which isn't very far from us to be honest xD

    And basically I was going to be in a four person house share thing for uni next year but our fourth person suddenly dropped out which is really stressful. We need to fill his spot or the contract will fall through. :/ Only problem is most students have sorted their living arrangements out so we can't find anyone!
    5 days ago
    Press gang someone into your flat.
    Lily Anna
    5 days ago
    1 Like
    @[Narcy] I don't think we can do that xD
  • Lily Anna
    6 days agoReply
    1 Like
    Sounds like some interesting characters. :) Looking forward to seeing what happens in the story!
    With so much going on in His life, Milan Everett is slowly falling apart but, while trying to escape the deadliest twister to ever strike His home town, Milan is struck by lightning. He falls into a coma...
  • Lily Anna
    6 days agoReply
    Hey, I just started reading and I’m really enjoying this! :) I love the idea and the character you have created. I also like the simple way you write but it’s dramatic at the same time. Great use of onomatopoeia as well. Italics for some of his thoughts is also a nice touch. All in all it’s great so far (I’ve only read chapter one so far) and there’s a great fast pace to it, which keeps people reading on.

    I picked out a few typos and lines which I think could be edited. Of course you don’t have to listen but here you go:

    Chapter 1-
    The pain my arm was excruciating - Should be 'in my arm'

    I heard the crunching leaves. No.
    I could hear his breathing. No.
    I could feel his breathing. NO!
    -This isn't a criticism, I just love this bit! Great triad of sentences.

    Some thing snapped in my body - Think it should be 'Something'

    ….hollered the voice, which I now saw was attached to an all-too-familiar shadow with the signature...etc. - I feel like this sentence is way too long. You could split it into: "MEN!" hollered the voice, which I now saw was attached to an all-too-familiar shadow. There was the signature small, shiny octagon attached to his face. - You also use attached twice very close together so you could use a different word in one of the places

    His body spin around - should be 'spun/span around'

    The air was thick with scent of danger - might sound better as 'the scent of danger'

    ...of a gun being loaded and cocked. cocked - I don't think you meant to put the extra 'cocked'?

    Had they never been looking? - sounds slightly wrong, perhaps try 'Had they not been looking?' More direct/flows a bit better.

    Any sound would reveal my whereabouts and certainly result my death. - I would say 'result in my death' instead

    I hoped they wanted to hear - I think you meant 'I hoped they wouldn't hear'

    As I held as still as possible, another pair of arms that lifted me in the air. - Doesn't quite make sense. I don’t think you meant to put ‘that’ in there?

    Across my chest, groin, thighs and calves were chains, chaining me... – I feel like as you’ve just said ‘chains’ putting the word ‘chaining’ right after is a bit repetitive. You could say ‘holding me down on a steel table...etc.’

    A drop of blood had fell from it and trickled down my neck to my black uniform. – As you’ve said ‘blood’ twice in the previous sentence I think you could just say ‘A drop of it fell…etc.’ instead.

    I was surprised to see that the bullet had been taking out… - I think you mean ‘taken out’

    But I like for people to call me Terror. – Might flow better without the ‘for’.

    General comments: I love the short sentences and how there aren’t massive paragraphs but I feel like some of the sentences could be bunched together a bit more. You also seem to switch tenses a lot.

    I hope you don’t think I’ve been too harsh. :) I really do like it and I can’t wait to read more!
    Terrence "Terror" Averston was a great liar. He lied on a whim, and it always resulted in the best possible way. In a way, lying built who he was. It got him to the top. But one day, his lies caught up...
    The Yeti
    6 days ago
    1 Like
    Thank you so much! I really appreciate this! I like how you were that harsh-- it really helps me out! I'm so glad you like it!
    As for the thing about tenses, it was originally written in present tense. I hated it that way and changed it to past tense and I probably forgot to change some XD I'll get to work on that as well!
    Lily Anna
    6 days ago
    1 Like
    No problem. :) It was a good read! Has potential.
    And I'm the same with tense. I rewrote part of an old story too which was in different tense and I swear I missed so many wrong tense words no matter how many times I read it through xD And I often find if I've been writing in one tense and then go to write another I can't get out of the other tense for a while in the new thing I'm writing. It's a pain so I understand!
  • Lily Anna
    1 weeks agoReply
    1 Like
    Hey, I was wondering if you could draw me a graphic please. :) I keep trying to do it myself but I've failed a couple of times to get it right. xD
    I'd basically like a drawing of a flying magpie but nothing too detailed, just black and white. Sort of similar shape to this image: pinterest.co.uk/pin/527624912570369760/
    I know that's very specific but I'd probably be happy with whatever you can come up with. :)
    It's going to be like a little symbol thing on the chapter headings of something new I'm writing so it doesn't have to be too big.
    Let me know if you can give it a go. :) Thanks!
    Sky's Graphics Store
    Sky's Graphics Sto...
    Welcome to my new an improved Graphics Store! I recently looked through my old covers and graphics from this website, and my only thoughts were, "Yikes!" So I have decided to open up a whole new store,...
    Lily Anna
    1 weeks ago
    Thanks! Take all the time you need :)
    12 hours ago
    1 Like
    Your magpie is finished! @[Lily Anna]
    Lily Anna
    9 hours ago
    1 Like
    Thank you so much :) It looks awesome
  • Lily Anna

    mumbled "Take a look"

    1 weeks agoReply
    Lately I've had the chance to read a few more pieces of work on here and it really brings to my attention how hidden some really good writers are. It seems hard to get people to read things now and I know first hand how frustrating it can be when you don't think people want to read it.
    I've read so many beautiful and exciting things which don't have that much recognition. I'd just like to post them here for anyone who is looking for something new to have a look at.
    In no particular order:
    Fire Cannot Hurt MeAn extension of my movella, The Purple Daisy. Alyssa is pulled through her window away from her ordinary life into a world of flames and power. She can...

    in my head.a set of poems directly from my mind and heart .... a look on what is going on in my head.

    Then's ShadowIn the realm of Aeril, some people are born with monsters that only they can see. These monsters torment their hosts, sometimes to the point of insanity...

    RetrogradeRayner stepped into Sentire with trepidation and came out into a frostbitten world, with power at her fingertips and the word Goddess on everyone else's...

    New Baghdadi have a devil on my shoulder...

    And of course there are so many more movellas out there that deserve recognition! I just can't post them all obviously but these were a couple I've read recently.
    If you want me to read something, post it below and I'll try and get round to having a look :)
    Jaleel McClain
    6 days ago
    1 Like
    Great! you are right its so many awesome writers on here.
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