FemaleAustraliaMember since 2 Jul 13Age 27Last online 1 years ago

  • LalaTatum
    4 years agoReply
    hey, this is an incredible book,
    You are amazing at description and you show wonderful imagery, Your plot seems to be great so far and I can't wait to see where this will go.
    When you extend some of the end of words like 'It was sooo embarrassing', it would be better if you didn't do that because it makes the book seem more informal you could change it to 'it was unbelievably embarrassing', or 'It was incredibly embarrassing.'
    just a few ideas overall its an amazing book :)

    - Z
    Ugly?
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    Amy Mcgill has never experienced love for anyone but her family and she thinks that maybe she is the only one in her year 9 class who doesn't wear make-up. Should she be worried? Should she change in order...
    WannaBeJournalist
    Wow!!!! Thanks for all the tips and praise!!!! I have just read my book through and see what you mean it was really helpful thank you so much I really appreciate it xxxxxxxx
  • LalaTatum
    4 years agoReply
    hey, i read your book and over all its a great book.
    You need to start a new line whenever a new person speaks, you did that at the beginning when Sarah and her mum were speaking but after that you didn't do it. You also need to not use so many exclamation marks haha, if you are trying to emphasize something or if someone is shouting you can use it then but try not to use it too much.
    You also need to use capital 'I' instead of the little 'i' i know that's not a big thing but its just a few things you may like to work on. And use a capital letter whenever you start a new sentence
    All together its an intriguing plot that makes the readers want to read more and more and i really liked how you explained how she felt and what she thought, you just need an editor. :)

    - Z
    A Billion Little Pieces
    A Billion Little...
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    Sarah Has to move to where her dad works , and that's where she falls in love with the school's hottest teacher, will this love continue to be or will it have an end?!
  • LalaTatum
    4 years agoReply
    1 Like
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    THIS IS ACTUALLY AMAZING PLEASE UPDATE YOUR SUCH A GOOD WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Trouble.
    Trouble.
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    "Hello, my name is Kimberly and I will be your waitress for today." I told the guys and brought up my pen. "Can I take your order?" I added as the curly one chuckled. "Yeah, I want a piece of your ass."...
  • LalaTatum
    4 years agoReply
    This is heaps good, good job. could you please read any of my two stories called "true loves first kill" and "lyrical remedy"? thank you so much it means a lot :)
    Who Are You??
    Who Are You??
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    "Whe-whe-where am i?"I say. "Who am I,"i say. "who are you??" I ask confused....
  • LalaTatum
    4 years agoReply
    Hi this is amazing, good job!! and could you maybe please read any of my two stories called "true loves first kill" and "lyrical remedy"? thank you so much it means a lot :)
    Talking to you
    Talking to you
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    A 17 girl named Natialle is a young self concience singer, who has a big ambition to record her music. One night someone messages Natialle they both soon hit things off and this mystery person has a huge...
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