FemaleUnited StatesMember since 27 Jul 12Age 20Last online 4 years ago

"I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters that I am not. I write to explore all the things I'm afraid of."
-Joss Whedon

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Allo,
The name's Nataly. Natti for short. I also go by Krypto. ;D

Writing is one of my many passions apart from sports and art. As you can see by the movellas I have written, I mostly write stories and poetry. :a

If you want me to read and give feedback on your Movellas, just let me know. (:

Two simple words I live by with a lot of meaning:
~Stay Strong~
I'm currently battling self-harm. Don't judge. If anyone needs to just talk, I'm always here to listen and give advice. Don't be afraid. We might be strangers, but hey, sometimes it helps to get it all out of your system.

~Quotes I Love~

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
-Anton Chekhov

"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know."

"The first draft of anything is shit."
-Ernest Hemingway

“If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that."
-Stephen King

"You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little f***** up.”
-Pat Conroy

"Le secret d'ennuyer est celui de tout dire."
-Voltaire

"You gotta risk it to get the biscuit!"
-Beau Brooks

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says im-possible"
-Jordi (Overload)

"Smile...because you're beautiful!"

"If you ever feel like you want to give up on something you love, just focus on what makes you happy and that's all you really need in the end. I pulled through, so I know you can too.
You are not alone."
-☁Jc Caylen ♥

"I got you your present, it's a grass and a rock."
-Ricky Dillon xD

(\__/)
(='.'=)
('')_('')

PROUD to be a Little Carrot! Absolutely love the work of Ms. J.K. Panesar. She's fantasmic! So y'all should check out her work! ;)

NMD Survivor! :)

Any questions? Ask away! xD

  • Kryptonite95
    And you're right, it is more accurate.
    Sticks & Stones
    Sticks & Stones
    4
    773
    6
    'Sticks and stones may break your bones' yep, that seems about right; 'but words can never hurt you' what?! I don't know who came up with such a phrase, but I know for a fact it certainly isn't true....
  • Kryptonite95
    1 Like
    You go Glen Coco!!!! ;D

    I wonder what Bree's plan is hmmmmm....
    Ah, another great chapter madame! xD
    Confessions of a High School Supermodel
    Confessions of a...
    623
    66.9k
    1072
    Meet Maddie Fox, a self-proclaimed Lozerilla. She’s 16, loves One Direction, shops at Forever 21, and frequently spends high school lunchtime hiding inside a bathroom stall. Maddie dreams of fitting...
    Shanna
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    Why thank you Natty!!! :)
    Kryptonite95
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    any timee xD
  • Kryptonite95
    Wow, this is really good! It kept me at the edge of my seat throughout the whole thing! It makes me eager to find out what's next! Bon travail! xD Keep writing. XD
    22 Hours
    22 Hours
    4
    360
    13
    We believe in giving everyone a chance, even rebels like you. So here is what’s going to happen: you are about to be injected with a poison that will take exactly 22 hours to kill you. It will attack your...
    StevieGregg
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    Thanks :) more will be coming soon
  • Kryptonite95
    1 Like
    Okay, for starters, you have the right idea. I like how you start in the present and take it to the past. You know where you want to take the story, but there are still a few things you can do with this.

    First of all, to make this easier to read, I suggest you start a new line each time someone speaks, and add PUNCTUATION that way they aren't run on sentences. Also, you can get rid of all the ellipses (...). They aren't necessary. Your sentences are fine just the way they are without the ellipses.
    Switching between the past and the present is a good idea, but be careful. Make sure you remember which one you're writing and make sure there aren't any holes in your story. Plus, instead of telling a story within a story (which is a good literary method) using dialogue, you can flash back and start your story from there and continue with your original idea of going from the present to the past.
    Another thing, you can still add more detail. Have you ever heard of the saying "Show, don't tell"? Right now, you're telling the readers what is done instead of describing it. You say she's shy or gets embarrassed? Show us how. Does she blush every time she sees him? Does she tend to look down a lot, not making any eye contact? He doesn't like her? Does he stand with his body facing away from her? Does he seem bored when she's speaking?
    Also, instead of posting pictures of what her transformation looks like, try describing it. Sure a picture is worth a thousand words, but how many published novels have pictures replacing descriptions? (Children's books don't count.) None. They might have a picture at the beginning or the middle of the chapter to help you visualize something, but they don't have just pictures. I mean, if you choose to put pictures, that's fine, but it takes away from the story.
    So basically, you can add more descriptions, USE PUNCTUATION, use separate lines for each person talking, capitalize the first word of every sentence and names of people, and get rid of the unnecessary ellipses. (:
    Don't take anything I said the wrong way. I'm just trying to help. (: Bonne chance! ((:
    Loves me , loves me not !
    Loves me , loves...
    10
    1124
    13
    When zayn loses a bet and has to date Rose for a whole three months!! he ends up falling for her ...or does he ...... meanwhile haley is in full persuasive mode convincing zayn to dump rose will zayn dump...
    amaan2000
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    Thanx for taking your time and giving feedback ! I will take everything you said on board xx
    Kryptonite95
    4 years ago
    No problem xD
  • Kryptonite95
    Hmmmm sounds interesting.
    Here are my suggestions:
    - Catch Me by Demi Lovato
    - Forever and Always by Parachute (This song makes me cry every time I listen to it.)
    - Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts
    - For the Love of a Daughter by Demi Lovato
    - The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script
    etc. etc. I just can't think of any more right now....
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