MaleUnited StatesMember since 23 Feb 13Age 4Last online 4 years ago

  • i wasn't crying, the sun was in my eyes
    i wasn't crying,...
    0
    300
    1
    by Kobu Gi
  • The New Jerus Blues
    The New Jerus Blue...
    0
    73
    1
    by Kobu Gi
  • The Black Notebook
    The Black Notebook
    0
    951
    0
    by Kobu Gi
  • Alone in a Basement, Painting Magazine Pictures
    Alone in a Basemen...
    1
    1547
    0
    by Kobu Gi
  • Kobu Gi
    4 years agoReply
    she was far to be sure, but not far away enough to escape the insane text messages of my heart.
    i was the fly in her web. the moth beside me said, if you are truly God, then save yourself.
    i couldn't of course. i never said i was.
    we all lose coins in the laundry, lighters in other people's pockets, come back to you without accusation, only the hand of a friend.
    look at the romantic fool drinking by himself on the beach. look at him swim now. look at him.
    you can't see him, eh?
    he is at the bottom of the ocean, alone at night walking as if in dream.
    time only exists when we are in pain. and so the universe cries. stars come out of its eyes. it is to forget yesterday as i would ask her to remember tomorrow.
    i wasn't crying, the sun was in my eyes
    i wasn't crying,...
    0
    300
    1
    this is a story all about how my life got twist-turned upside down
  • Kobu Gi
    4 years agoReply
    1 Like
    Hey Angelic
    well, first of all, when you write a story there has to be a clear main character. The main character has to have something about her/him that stands out from all of the other characters. Usually, whatever that is has to be connected to a problem they will need to solve.

    I see you're going for realism here and you are trying to write and have your characters "talk" the way they do in real life. But without a problem, it's not interesting. People can just live life if they want to see what it's like. They will read if they think the story has something to offer that is slightly different or more accentuated than their real lives. Make your characters more unique and give your main character a problem.
    Behind the Screen *1D Fanfiction*
    Behind the Screen...
    25
    1489
    55
    When Micheal makes an account on Facebook and meets "Smilesforawhiles" she makes a love she wants to meet right away but who is behind the screen?
    Angelic
    4 years ago
    I'm getting to that.... BUT THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK :):):):):)
    Kobu Gi
    4 years ago
    cool.. let me know when it develops.. i'd be happy to take another look
    Angelic
    4 years ago
    Ok :)
Loading ...