MaleUnited KingdomMember since 2 Oct 13Age 55Last online 4 years ago

I am a middle aged man living with my loving wife Shelley in Cambridgeshire. I have been retired on health grounds for 10 years. I would love to write a book. I have started a few project writings and have many ideas, but as yet nothing has come to fruition. So watch this space.

  • Kickingirons
    Chapter 5 & 6 read. Now the story is rattling along nicely. Good attention to detail although some of the descriptive detail of Catherine's emotional reactions seem a little off.
    Courageous
    Courageous
    4
    1041
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    Catherine is several things, she's young, British and really not prepared for when she falls straight through her home and (she suspects) through reality itself. It doesn't help that an ancient mythical...
    Catherine Kill
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    Off how? I need to learn how to improve my writing so any constructive criticism is more than welcome :)
    Kickingirons
    4 years ago
    Maybe 'off' was the wrong word. I understand that Catherine is a 21st teenager in an ancient greek story. Maybe because of this you have deliberately used her confidence as a 21st century teenager exactly as if she was in any other situation back at home and applied it in your story. My point being is would Catherine be as confident and react the way she does, or would she be a little more out of her depth and react slightly different from how you have written it. Please do not take this the wrong way, it is just my opinion ask others as well. On the whole it is a very good story and I am looking forward to reading the rest. Good luck :-)
  • Kickingirons
    Read chapters 3 & 4. The story is cracking on at a fair pace, which is good in one sense, keeps the reader absorbed, but maybe the characters could be described better in detail which the main character notices. Also the main character, seems maybe too confident in the situation she is in, I know I would not be, dropped into Ancient Greece! On the whole still a great read. Will read next 2 chapters and report back.
    Courageous
    Courageous
    4
    1041
    14
    Catherine is several things, she's young, British and really not prepared for when she falls straight through her home and (she suspects) through reality itself. It doesn't help that an ancient mythical...
  • Kickingirons
    Just read your first 2 chapters. The story has got promise and it has kept my attention to want to read more, which I will do tomorrow. I felt as I was reading that the main character identified closely with its author. Looking forward to reading what to become of Catherine.
    Courageous
    Courageous
    4
    1041
    14
    Catherine is several things, she's young, British and really not prepared for when she falls straight through her home and (she suspects) through reality itself. It doesn't help that an ancient mythical...
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