FemaleSpainMember since 11 Nov 12Last online 4 years ago

5ft 4". Blond, blue eyes. I live in Spain. I have two cats called Sandy and Lindy. Sandy was a ferral kitten (a wild cat) but was sooo tame from day 1. Lindy (taken from the spanish name Linda,meaning pretty) was an abandoned cat, very cautious, - still is even after 3 years but sometimes she likes a cuddle.

  • K J Rollinson
    Lovely chapter. Look at your 7th paragraph again - I think you may have missed out a word. Also do you mean 'writhe' and not 'write' when you talk about the scarlet dragon being in pain?
    Dragon Day
    Dragon Day
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    A princess that's not a lady. A king that's not a gentleman. And a wedding that does not go according to plan.
    Mina Rowen ☕
    4 years ago
    Thanks for naming the typos. I've fixed them, and I'm off read your new chapter of FATD now.
  • K J Rollinson
    Spooky! A good build up of tension. I love the way you say 'his city' which makes you feel he belongs and is proud? of it. I don't understand the bit 'in the factories that were slowly sucking the life out of the city' - what do you mean by this - do you mean 'cos it's the 'city of fog' it was adding to the pollution, and/or the conditions in the factories were pretty grotty.
    Mystica
    Mystica
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    In the city of Mystica, nothing is what it seems.
    Mina Rowen ☕
    4 years ago
    The conditions in the factories, that's what I meant when I said, "sucking the life out of". And, further explanations will be found in later chapters.
    K J Rollinson
    4 years ago
    Thanks Mina. Look forward to the next chapter. I've added another chapter to 'Fallyn and the Dragons'
    Mina Rowen ☕
    4 years ago
    I don't think the chapter's up yet.
  • K J Rollinson
    I think this is brilliant. I have noticed that some stories, although very good, have sometimes grammatical errors, (although no-one is perfect). In my story 'Fallyn and the Dragons' I have written 'he was sitting' instead of 'he sat'. Also I have written 'he shrugged his shoulders' - what else could you shrug for heavens sake! It is sufficient to say 'he shrugged', (I got this from the 'Writers Magazine' which I take every month - very helpful grammatically).
    Writing classes!
    Writing classes!
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    Want to improve your writing but don't want to read those guides that you can't ask questions too. Well me and Mina Rowen are starting classes to teach newbie writers or people who have been writing for...
  • K J Rollinson
    I love it goes at a good pace. I have been told to avoid the word 'was' if you can. Suggest, therefore, 'Henry grinned from ear to ear' ....'and their precious cargo brought down.' Admittedly, in my story the dragons are 'characters,' but I prefer 'he' instead of 'it'. Also you refer to the female dragon as 'her'. You use 'medieval' type speech, which is good, and yet you use 'Pa' - do you think you should alter this to 'Father'? Thanks for saying you'll go through my story when you have time.
    Dragon Day
    Dragon Day
    81
    7716
    152
    A princess that's not a lady. A king that's not a gentleman. And a wedding that does not go according to plan.
    Mina Rowen ☕
    4 years ago
    Yeah, I see what you mean about the 'was' thing. I'll fix that in editing. And noted about the dragons. I considered her calling her father "Father", but I wanted to show a distinction between the relationship she has with her mother (who she very formally calls "Mother") and her father, who she's basically best friends with.
    K J Rollinson
    4 years ago
    Yeah, I see where you're coming from about the 'Father' thing.
  • K J Rollinson
    I am entering my second book in the trilogy of the Fallyn series, 'Fallyn in the Forbidden Land' in the Amazon Compeition 2013. (Entries have to be at least 50,000 words - various categories). I think you should enter your story if it meets the criteria.
    The Absolution Factory
    The Absolution Fac...
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    She wanted nothing more than to leave her life of obligation. He promised to rescue her. Be careful what you wish for as it might just come true. A psychological thriller with the ever-present threat of...
    Harry Smiles
    5 years ago
    Oh, thanks, will check it out and good luck with yours too.
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