MaleUnited KingdomMember since 5 May 12Age 26Last online 5 years ago

Spotted Movellas a while ago, but forgot about it until recently. I write mainly genre fiction, but I'm trying my hand in other areas too.

  • JGlendenning
    Hey man, cool idea. Not often do the bad guys get used as main characters. Firstly, I'd like to say that it took too long for you to reveal exactly who the viewpoint character was... one of the most important things for you to do is give the reader something to latch onto. That means character, place and time. You got the place and time thing done pretty soon, but we had no idea who the character was until much too far into the prologue.
    I agree with Kaelin, you should work on the pacing a little -- try using less exposition. Show, don't tell. Use different lengths of sentence and paragraph.
    Also, whenever there is a new speaker, there should be a new line used.
    Hope this helps. It's good, but needs some revisions.
    Darkness Dawns (working title)
    Darkness Dawns (wo...
    This is something I've dabbled in writing on and off for some time and I wanted to see whether it was worth sticking out and finishing as a real book. It's a sword and sorcery tale, with magic, swords,...
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