FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 3 Mar 12Last online 2 days ago

Hey, I'm J.K. Panesar, but most people just call me J.K.
Movellas Ambassador
- I am here to help, so just ask. I don't bite... much. ;)


Author Of The Year - 2012/13

Bronze award - One Direction Comp

Bronze award - Spooky story contest

Published Poem - Why I smile...

Bronze award - More Than This Competition (Trishna)

Runner Up - 1D and 5SOS Competition

First Place - Salvage Competition (Finding You)

DigiFestUK Fanfic Contest (Dream, Reality & Future)

The Forever Song Illustration Comp - Runner Up

  • J.K. Panesar

    mumbled "Writing Sensation...."

    1 months agoReply
    I have this tingling feeling in the tips of my finger urging me to write. Unfortunatley I cannot, untill I finish my assigned college work...
    Very soon I will have my fingers typing away on the keys of my laptop and I SHALL have a master piece! Mwah ha ha ha ha aaaaa! *cough* *cough*
    E.W. Hemmings
    1 months ago
    YAY! :)
    Rabid Alien
    1 months ago
    Will be waiting..
    Please let it be another sequel to 'only you' ������������
  • J.K. Panesar
    1 months agoReply
    @[Molly Looby] I've re-edited this and made and the changes that you suggested. It was hard for me to take out the bit about the beast, because I'd included the myth in this as well, but I've taken in out and changed a few sentenced regarding that. Could you please tell me what you think out of what I have done now?
    Also I've used the words 'strange figure' quite a lot, but I don't know another alternative.
    Just a sample of a story I am writing, eagerly needs CC and motivation to improve.
    Molly Looby
    1 months ago
    The 'affects' that's in there somewhere should be 'affected' as you're writing in the past tense. I know you were having trouble with this so I wanted to point this out. You've also put 'assume' where it should be 'assumed'. It's that same paragraph again. I suggest reading it really slowly, and trying to be very aware of which tense you've used :)

    When you say 'did I believe in this strange figure?' Shouldn't it be something like: 'did I believe the serial killer was out there waiting for me? No' because as far as she's aware, that's what it is.
    Maybe change a few of the 'strange figures' to simply 'killer'?

    Other than that I think it's got a lot more suspense and when your character figures out it's not a human doing the killers, we're going to go mental and be unable to stop reading! Do you see how it's better now? How it would be easier to grip an audience this way?
    J.K. Panesar
    1 months ago
    1 Like
    Thank you so much @[Molly Looby] I really appreciate your help on this. You have no idea how grateful I am. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I mean like, you're a fantastic author and to get CC like this back from you makes me feel blessed in a way.
    I will get to making the changes as soon as possible.
    I see how it's made quite of a positive difference. I'm always used to giving away too much and I guess that's my bad habit, but I guess with a little practise I shall soon get there.
    Again with the past tense bit, one of my many writing flaws that I have had since quite a young age. When I read it, in my mind it makes perfect sense, but I shall take on your advice about imagining it happened 5 seconds ago.
    Molly Looby
    1 months ago
    I'm so glad I helped and I see this becoming a very good story indeed. And thank you for the nice things you said :) made my day.
    The giving too much stuff away thing is a habit pretty much everyone has, because you're so excited about it you want everybody to know but of course keeping it back's pretty exciting too.
    Also, the past/present tense thing is just something you'll have to read over again and again for, or perhaps get someone to look out for it for you if you read over it. It's always hard to spot stuff like that in you're own work :)
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