FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 7 Mar 13Age 19Last online 4 years ago

Love reading and writing!!

  • hellosunshine
    1 Like
    Okay, so I just finished reading the whole thing... So...
    It was pretty good, action-packed, dramatic, and you can write well :)
    A few things I would say, though...
    The story moved too fast, everything was kinda just like 'POW, POW, POW!' happening really quickly. (But I know this isn't meant to be a full-length story or anything...but if you wanted to revise this and go back and add a bit more padding around the story, taking the time to focus a bit more on developing the characters and their relationships and stuff, it could be even better)
    Also, Onyx was almost annoying for me. She was kind of too 'perfect' a rebel - the way she killed everyone so easily at the Cornucopia is a bit unrealistic, and she was too sarky and fearless all the time. Everyone has weaknesses. It would have been nice to see some of hers.
    Catherine :)
    The Hunger Games: Unlucky Number
    The Hunger Games:...
    70
    4327
    102
    Just an idea. Set in the First Hunger Games. Enjoy x
    Midnight Rogue
    4 years ago
    Thank you for the criticism ;D Very helpful. But, honestly, it was the whole point. Characters like Onyx, Flobber and the President are more ideas than people. Ideas in their purest form, of course. Which is why the story was somewhat unrealistic. Though, i agree - characters should always have weaknesses and thank you for stating that. It was a one-off thing, and i was hoping someone would point this out to me, actually xD Thank you for doing so.

    Oh, and welcome to Movellas. I hope you enjoy your stay here ;)
  • hellosunshine
    1 Like
    I just joined Movellas today, I've been glancing through several stories and this is the first one I've come across that I actually kind of like :D (And as you can see from my profile picture, I'm a fan of The Hunger Games ;) )
    The Hunger Games: Unlucky Number
    The Hunger Games:...
    70
    4327
    102
    Just an idea. Set in the First Hunger Games. Enjoy x
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