MaleUnited KingdomMember since 2 Feb 12Age 22Last online 5 years ago

  • hartleyhair
    6 years agoReply
    I love this just for 'pantaloons'. <3

    ..More seriously, I love little poems like this that sum up a whole sense in just a few lines—there's love, and summer, and that sorta lightness that you get in the overlap between the two—and it comes through really strongly! So, erm, good job and such.

    (If I might make two humble suggestions,
    *the 'oh what a beautiful sight' line felt a smidge ungenuine compared to the rest, and
    *any chance of fiddling this to end on a rhyme? Call me old-fashioned, but it feels to me like a quick rhyme would round off the poem, making it circular and snappy and neat and all.)

    Love for this though! Thanks for sharing ^_^
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