MaleMember since 5 Jul 12Age 24Last online 4 years ago

  • Frozenice
    4 years agoReply
    Your narrative suffers from slightly too much redundant dialogue; i.e. you don't need to write out every single thing your characters say or think, it really slows down your story and makes it tedious to read through...paragraphing and punctuation after every line of dialogue would help too.

    Jumping from POV to POV of each character also makes it hard to concentrate and really get into the mind of your characters, the reader is hardly given enough time to absorb the character before the POV changes so I wouldn't recommend changing POVs so much. Good effort though!
    It was only yesterday
    It was only yester...
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    Wiley winterhood was always friends with Justin Bieber until he left her to be famous but then Justin comes back. What will she say when he figures out she erased her mind from everything they ever did...
  • Frozenice
    5 years agoReply
    TomorrowSet in the World of Warcraft Universe, this is a tale about 2 young lovers in the Scarlet Crusade torn apart by fate and death. Summary: Jake is...


    Here's my submission, i wrote this piece for the Blizzard Story Writing contest 2 years ago, and I went back and touched it up and voila! Here it is!

    Good luck to everyone!

    Please do read through it if you have the time, I promise the story will be nice (I hope)! Feedback is always welcome! :)
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