FemaleUnited StatesMember since 18 Mar 12Last online 1 months ago

Hello world :) I am a hopeless dreamer, stuck to think wishfully until somehow I conjure up a big idea and a way to spell without the use of "spell check". Thank you to everyone who reads my work. It was a created with an unnatural sense of ambition and a vague plan.

  • Elizabeth Hale
    I love all the hidden meanings in this poem, depending on how the reader interprets it. This is has a good combination of fluency and word choice, but I think the word "previously" in line four makes its sentence a bit choppy. Otherwise, this is amazing :)
    Rain on the canvas
    Rain on the canvas
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    What truly is freedom and how do we know when we have it?
    Nicolle
    1 years ago
    Thank you for reading :) yeah i understand. i appreciate your comment. glad you liked it x
  • Elizabeth Hale
    I love how you related golden whispers to friendship! It's really good :) Can I recommend a little bit of capitalization in the title, though?
    a golden whisper
    a golden whisper
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    an entry to movellas competition by sursagar. please read and comment
    Sursagar
    1 years ago
    yeah sure, i'll capitalize it immediately!:-)
  • Elizabeth Hale
    1 Like
    I love the first line of the prologue. It immediately draws me in and makes me begin to question everything. This scene already tells so much about the character so the readers don’t start out as blind when reading the story, and have some background information.

    In the first chapter I love how you tie in the Harry Potter reference. It immediately helps me picture the setting your main character is in. Your description are fantastic, but I would have loved to hear her talk about all the strange creatures in The Hall a little more : ) The way that Kayla gets to enter rooms is ingenious! I feel like a lot of creativity went into planning. Keep up the great work- I’m excited to read more!
    Burned - deep wounds.
    Burned - deep woun...
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    She got marked. Burned. Her wounds are deep and sore, but they will start to heal. And once their healed, she will be complete. Kayla is not a typical type of maincharacter. She's lost her family...
    Emilie Grosby
    1 years ago
    Thank you so much for reading! It really means a lot to me and i will keep on working with it as much as possible, but it might be a bit before second chapter is out - but it will come! You will hear a lot more about the different creatures later on, though :D
  • Elizabeth Hale
    ....I can't find words... Thank you to everyone who nominated Descendant of the West Wind! It is a HUGE honor for it to be listed with all these other great titles.
  • Elizabeth Hale
    Just from the blurb I am excited :) Its a great idea, with the demon and angel falling in love. There is so much potential! The first chapter stands out to me, because you kind of put an angel's views of the changing mankind in writing. Its also nice because you carry the idea into the next chapter. You write really well, and your description skills are exceptional. The only problem I can find is that a bunch of the sentences start with "I". Try to spread them out :) Seriously, though... this is REALLY good ;)
    Forbidden
    Forbidden
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    Angels, the pretty, the pure, you need not know more. Demons and devils, the dark of the soul. When Lara becomes infatuated with a demon, you can see that's...
    BeyondLawliet
    2 years ago
    Now this is what I want to see! I go through, writing stories and most of the time, hardly get replies! When people comment with constructive criticism it makes me feel better! I will! And thanks:) a lot!
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