FemaleUnited StatesMember since 7 Mar 16Last online 10 hours ago

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A writer, singer, fangirl, and lover of all things fantasy

Hello, and thanks for looking at my stories! I love comments, and the more people tell me to update, the sooner I'll update. I love people telling me what they think, even if it's constructive criticism. Hey, if you want to help make my work better, be my guest. I don't like hate comments, but there's nothing I can do about them so if you hate my stories I'm sorry.

Gems of Movellas 2- When The World Falls To Darkness

Second entry for the blogging competition


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  • Dragon rider fangirl
    I nominate When the World Falls to Darkness by @[DragonSoulJess]

    When the World Falls to DarknessA kingdom at war, a web of truth and lies, a vicious game of friendship and betrayal, and a world that will kill you, whatever path you take. When the...


    It's incredibly written, has realistic and understandable characters. The world design is flawless, and revealed gradually without a huge info dump right at the start. The plot flows steadily, and all the characters have distinct and fascinating personalities.
    DragonSoulJess
    2 months ago
    Aww, thank you so much! <3
    (Hopefully there'll be another chapter within the next two weeks :D xD)
  • Dragon rider fangirl
    Okay, here's the CC swap, as promised

    I don't normally read these types of stories, so my review may not be as in depth

    Plot: As far as I can tell, the world's gone down the drain and people run around killing each other. That's about it. Kind of basic. Not sure if there's some deeper level to this, but that's what I'm getting.
    Characters: Zero and Hunter have two aspects. Homicidal, and insane. Zero seems to have a bit of a heart, but Hunter is callous and emotionless. I'm not sure if that was your intention, but it makes them hard to read about as they don't have any human-like traits at all. That kind of takes you away from the story. (At least in my perspective) Hunter is the classic sociopath- kill everybody. Done. No morals. That also makes it kind of boring, seeing as the characters have little or no depth.
    Writing style: This is well done, at least. You've managed to capture how disastrous the world is in a few short chapters. It's got an edgy and dark feel to it, which, if that's what you're going for, is well done.
    Grammer: Nothing major that I spotted.

    Not my favorite story, but I rarely read stories along this theme. For the genre you gave it, it's well done. Congratulations.
    Axiom: Transcendence
    Axiom: Transcenden...
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    There came a time in the world's history when the flow of time was altered, and reality as was known to mankind, changed. From the epicentre of this distortion, a passage emerged: The Satanic Gate, the...
    暗い戦士
    2 months ago
    Thanks for your review ^.^
    As for Hunter and Zero, the story is an all too infant stage for me delve deeper into their personality. And, yeah, I meant for them to be unreadable. It's quite crucial to the crux of the story.
    Anyways, I'll get to your story ASAP( I have exams. Arggh!!)
    Dragon rider fangirl
    Alright, that's fine, no pressure
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