United StatesMember since 19 Sep 13Last online 5 years ago

  • Carolove1331
    I like your story line it needs a bit cleaning up as far as the actual story is concerned. I couldn't fully get through it as it was quite unrealistic, I felt there were many points in time where you just repeated the same words over and over again (I.E. I love Jacob, I love Bella) try cleaning it up a bit and adding more detail and you'll be on your way :)
    At The Mist Of Dawn
    At The Mist Of Daw...
    In Twilight new moon Edward left Bella, poor Bella heartbroken, was healing with the love of Jacob Black but then Edward came back and Bella left Jacob. But what if there was a twist what if Bella chose...
    5 years ago
    Thanks anrd o k
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