FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 12 Oct 12Age 17Last online 11 months ago

Hey guys,
My name's BrutallyHonest, and I am a fanbassador here on movellas. I know a lot about Harry Potter, Doctor Who, The Hunger Games and BBC Sherlock, so please feel free to ask me anything about these topics. I do know a little about Twilight and One Direction, but I am always willing to learn more, so please ask me about these and I will try to help as best I can.
On the other hand, I'm not perfect, and would love to learn and develop my writing skills, so do (politely) point out my mistakes.
I love giving feedback on work, and will always take a look if you ask me to, but I also like feedback on my own work, so please comment if you get a chance.
Thanks for taking the time to read, and don't hesitate to ask me anything. I'll do my best to help!
P.S I am brutally honest. If you don't want to know, don't ask

  • BrutallyHonest
    Nice story, seems interesting. Hooking from the first paragraph, I had to read to the end! It's very hard to give cc on a story where so little is given away. I didn't spot any grammar, spelling or punctuation mistakes. It's well written and structured, so there's little I can give for improvement. Well done!
    Hall 27
    Hall 27
    7
    243
    10
    Nova doesn't know what she's doing or why she's there, she just knows one thing - don't go down hall 27.
  • BrutallyHonest
    You have used very strong vocabulary, but the actual story is quite confusing. That aside, it is very well written and the structure is effective. The description in the first paragraph is a brilliant opener, hooking the reader (or at least me) in instantly.
    The only thing I would say is try to think of how it would probably go if it were a real prison. Also I did notice one or two spelling errors.
    This is is a very good piece, and I hope I haven't disheartened you with my cc. You do have a talent, and I'd love to see this idea developed more!
    Alienated and Dying
    Alienated and Dyin...
    25
    2503
    37
    We alienated ourselves from the help of the others, the other planets. Now orange fog looms over the surface of the earth. The air is dusty, and the humans are in hiding. A few days remain before we burn;...
    cassidynmc
    5 years ago
    Thanks for the CC, I totally understand, in my head i see it perfectly, and since I wrote it I know whats going on, but it might be confusing for my readers... I have a problem with that :) But thanks so much. Could you tell me whats confusing so I can fix it? Thanks, and I love CC. :)
    BrutallyHonest
    5 years ago
    It's not really that confusing- it depends on the reader. There's not anything in particular you need to change, and it's not as if you've randomly introduced characters or changed the setting abruptly. Reading it for a second time made a lot more sense to me. I noticed things I didn't the first time. I suggest you read it again, changing anything that jumps out at you.
  • BrutallyHonest
    Nice job! A well written story with one direction for once not seen in a positive light! I only read the first two chapters, but I like the way it's being developed. I have to say that the story does seem to be going a little too fast, however, and this takes some of the realistic feel away from it. As entwined below, there are a few grammar/spelling mistakes, and also where you've repeated the same phrase a few times, but luckily for you the story dragged me in.
    Overall, you're doing well, but like with every piece of writing, there are things up go over.
    Well done for what I read, and keep it up!
    Hate That Boyband (H.S fanfiction)
    Hate That Boyband...
    422
    51.3k
    880
    (In the process of Editing/Proofreading) Sick of all typical 1D fanfics? Looking for a change? Not only can 1D lovers enjoy this fanfiction but Haters too! Lize Arigalez is a Pure OneDirection Hater,...
    authoressthings
    5 years ago
    Thankss for the review:) Will be looking at your story soon once i finish reading the previous one! <3
  • BrutallyHonest
    I've only read the first chapter, but I'll still tell you what I thought of it.
    This is a really detailed story, very well written. The plot is relatable, but not boring. Both of the characters are realistic and the feelings are shown well. The only thing I would say is that the character Jessica seems to quickly flit between emotions. Another thing is that the story seems to progress very quickly- almost too quickly. Maybe include some details from outside his life with Jessica?
    Like I said, I only read the first chapter. From that, I don't see why it needs to be One Direction. Couldn't it just be a nice romantic love story? It would also appeal to another audience.
    Anyway, well done!
    She's Not Afraid - A Louis Tomlinson Fanfiction
    She's Not Afraid...
    128
    10.6k
    60
    21-year old Louis Tomlinson is a normal college student studying at London University: He’s living a good social life with his four best friends, partying and making plans for his very near future. But...
  • BrutallyHonest
    1 Like
    Oh wow! This is really good, but also quite scary! I love how the government have seemed to twist out of control, and the story is actually very realistic, which is creepy! You have given the reader a lot of information very crucial to the story, but not overwhelmingly so. It is hard to convey emotion through third person, but even so you have included hints to how the characters were feeling through their actions.
    This sounds very similar to 1984 by George Orwell, but I haven't read the book so I'm assuming they follow different story lines.
    Anyway, good luck if you're entering the sci-fi comp. I don't think I stand much of a chance now I've seen what I'm up against!
    Oppression
    Oppression
    1
    176
    2
    Be careful about what you say, because there are eyes everywhere, just waiting for you to say one wrong thing.
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