FemaleUnited StatesMember since 4 Nov 13Last online 3 years ago

Life long writer, and comma aficionado, I'm here to take you into my world through words. Care to take an adventure?

  • Azura S.
    4 years agoReply
    I feel like this is a lot in a really short period of time. There is so much room for detail, I think you should use it. I like the development of Jack's personality, but I feel as if Layla is just like a doll. She kisses a guy she doesn't know for bringing her cds, seems out of the blue. She also seems to be brimming with curiosity but only really asks one or two questions about him. If someone dressed up as santa popped into my living room I'd have a barrage of questions for him, especially if I didn't believe in santa, which by the lack of decorations makes it seem as if she doesn't. I feel like you could illustrate more about how she blows jack away, leave Layla to seem more alluring rather than just giving Jack everything that he wants all at once. I like how you reveal to the reader and jack at the same time aspects about Layla that make her Jack's dream girl. Ending that with "will you go out with me," seems to be a very high school cliche way to describe the kind of bond they have. His attraction to her seemed to be more meaningful. So sorry if I was way to harsh, when I edit I tend to not have much of a filter
    A Christmas Love Story
    A Christmas Love...
    2
    201
    4
    Jack Claus is bound to serve the children of the world forever, alone and bored. Until the Christmas of 2013, when he meets Layla. Hs world will never be the same again... For the December Advent comp.
    Alex Catt
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    You don't sound harsh. This is actually some of the most useful feedback I've got :) Thank you
  • Azura S.

    mumbled "New story? :3"

    4 years agoReply
    Started a new story, if anyone's interested. I really don't know anything about it; it's the product of a random surge of emotion so yeah. But I can say it will hold love, betrayal, the threat of death, and perhaps a happy? Scratch that last one, in this place there are no happy endings. Welcome to the world of the Arklings :3
  • Azura S.

    mumbled "Azura Out"

    4 years agoReply
    It's midnight on December first, the long month is over and I'm officially a novelist. I can now say that I've written a book!( and I have the bloodshot eyes to prove it) Now, the only thing left to do, that hasn't been done all month, is sleep. Finally, we meet again old friend
  • Azura S.

    mumbled "The final stride"

    4 years agoReply
    Nanowrimo ends in five days. I'm at 43,238 words. 6,762 left to go. At this point I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with nothing left in my writer's arsenal of magical writing tricks. But then I came on Movellas, for the first time in a while, and saw the number of views, and likes, and read what people thought about my story. I want to thank every single one of you who has ever even just glanced at my story, because this has filled me with the determination to reach 50,000. It's going to happen, and all I can say is I hope you like the ending. It was a wild ride getting to it, but I have to say I'm proud of it. So thank you for reading my story, soon to be my first book, The Beast Within
    Azura S.
    4 years ago
    Woohoo! Good job, we are going to cross this finish line together!
    Whitman
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    You can do it, @[Azura S.] and @[littlemiss111]! Just unplug everything and keep writing!
    Azura S.
    4 years ago
    Thanks @[Whitman] :)
  • Azura S.

    mumbled "42 "

    4 years agoReply
    1 Like
    A valuable piece of advice once given to me was 'stay strong, and keep writing.' So as I'm sitting, magically willing words to appear on the screen in front of me I figured to screw logic, cause what story ever survived on that, and just start moving my fingers to see what came out. First I saw words, and then they made sense, and that was like gorgeous-epic-magical-flying-unicorn-ness! But now I'm here, using this as a way to procrastinate writing my story because the heart of the matter is i'm not excited, I need a flare, a spark, to keep this fire burning! Now that I am aware of what I'm missing (couldn't figure it out until I actually wrote it down, go figure) I am off to create, hopefully, my spark. So long, and thanks for all the fish :)
    littlemiss111
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    YOU GOT THIS! WRITE AND INSPIRE!
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