FemaleUnited StatesMember since 29 Sep 12Age 19Last online 6 years ago

  • AshlynForever
    YESH YOU UPDATED :D I'm having an even more serious one D: Haven't written anything for three weeks straight (for all you peasants: I write on another site :P). LITTLE THINGS <3 FOR EVERYONE WHO READS THIS, I'M CATHY THE EPIC. Yes, peasants, call me that.

    ANYWAY! On to the epic corrections :D

    First off, epic chapter :) You wrote it very well, though it seemed a bit rushed. My suggestions: perhaps you could add Liam's reaction to being cover in spaghetti (shocked? Did he gasp? Were his eyes wide with fear?).

    Also, you could include what Sarah and Liam did while hiding. Sarah could be helping Liam get the spaghetti off of him, or telling Liam to avoid Kelsey as much as possible.

    I'm really looking forward to the next chapter :D Update soon! I can't wait to know what song Liam and Sarah would write and sing together :)
    This is What Happens When You Are Nice
    This is What Happe...
    *THIS IS MY FISRT STORY, SO PLEASE TELL ME WHATEVER YOU THINK Hi, my name is Sarah Jones, I am 14, and I live in Wolverhampton. I'm not popular, but everyone knows who I am. Why? Because I take punches...
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