FemaleMember since 31 Jan 12Age 24Last online 4 years ago

  • Amy-Jay
    5 years agoReply
    afraid I'm not in the right state of mind to read this and appreciate it properly, will come back to it later!
    Angels of Mercy
    Angels of Mercy
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    Hola, I've entered another movella for the Crime Comp called "My Love is a Bloodied Red Rose", as I'm not sure where to take this one. Thanks. The sequel to Sex Crime 2012 and sKorpiO. Valentina and...
  • Amy-Jay
    5 years agoReply
    Deep and meaningful, eloquently portrayed and full of emotion always know your stuff will be of a high standard but this is also beautiful the last line is simplistic but has such an impact.
    You Know Who You Are
    You Know Who You...
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    The carapace of cynical ennui lasts only so long.
  • Amy-Jay
    5 years agoReply
    Love the concept behind this, its refreshingly original and I can't wait to see where this goes. Can't believe how much you've improved since your first requiem movella. I always enjoy your style of writing. Noticed a few small grammatical mistakes like missing out determiners nothing that can't be fixed by a quick proof read.
    Liked an faved.
    Seventeen Seconds
    Seventeen Seconds
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    Initial pain, hatred, sadness caused by another human being only lasts roughly seventeen seconds, after that all emotion felt is caused by our minds subconscious as a defence and survival mechanism, ourselves...
    Erica Bluewater
    5 years ago
    Sounds like my type of book, dark...
    Amy-Jay
    5 years ago
    The new chapter adds to my intrigue over where this is going, I can see it developing to be very thought provoking. Some parts I feel you've used to many words for example 'for another day in the second paragraph seems a bit unnecessary as does 'when it wasn't being used re- the single mattress. But ofcourse that's at your discretion as the authors although I can't help but feel too many cooks may spoil the broth. A few linguistic errors where 'what' should be 'that' too. Sorry for being critical I just love the concept behind this and when it's so well written these things really stick out anyway get writing I need to know more! Missed reading your movellas Dann!!
    D.B. Fairless
    5 years ago
    no I like critisisms, as long as theyre helping, as these are so thanks Amy :) ill look into the wording and make the revelant changes, dont you worry!
  • Amy-Jay
    5 years agoReply
    Love this, it flows brilliantly, your choice of language is precise and so my only slight critique, and this is beyond picky, is that I don't think you should capitalise the start of each line and maybe get rid of certain commas at the end of lines where the discourse runs on. Forgotten the proper word for it.
    But that is the only thing. liked and faved :)
    The Sleeping Beauty
    The Sleeping Beaut...
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    I'm not that good at poetry, this is my first time with it, so please do tell me what you think of it! It was not originally meant to be a poem, I was writing a descriptive piece but I noticed a poetic...
    Chetna
    5 years ago
    Thanks a lot Amy :D
    Originally, the start of each line wasn't capitalised and I was told that it would look better if I got it done... do you think it would be better if I kept it in lower case after all?
    Ah the commas! It's so easy to spoil the entire rhythm of a poem just by putting a lot of unnecessary punctuations. I seem to do that a lot. I must read it out to myself once to find out where exactly I should keep them and where it would be better to get rid of them.
    Thanks for the support, means so much :)
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