MaleUnited KingdomMember since 15 Aug 14Last online 10 months ago

Descriptions of oneself are somewhat difficult.

  • AlexM7
    3 years agoReply
    Seems interesting. Good premise - Japanese culture hasn't been explored much in Doctor Who; it's one of the few things that hasn't, in fact. Promising start (I've just read the first chapter so far) though it seems to be predominantly dialogue based, which could be an issue maybe. Throw some description in there maybe, talking about how the Doctor and Clara are falling over.

    (Also, saying "houses that bore the classic, elegant designs of pre-Industrial Japan" sort of ruins the revelation that they're in Japan. I'd restructure that sentence a little.)
    The Dragons of Japan
    The Dragons of Jap...
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    A spate of mysterious deaths. Sightings of a mythological creature. Something is terrorising Feudal Japan, and how is it linked to a desperate struggle for survival in a distant galaxy?
  • AlexM7
    3 years agoReply
    1 Like
    I've read it, and I liked it, and I'll try and give you a proper comment afterwards. Also! You haven't entered the story into the competition yet. You need to click on the join competition button thingy on the competition, not just leave a comment. :P
    Remember
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    *For the Doctor Who Fanfiction Competition* I know the pain of being left. So I’m sorry, Clara. I’m so sorry: now it’s your turn. Will the Doctor grant Clara's last wish and reveal the answer to...
    Uniqua Niques
    3 years ago
    *gasps* OMG thanks so much for pointing that out! That was so stupid of me, I didn't even realises that I'd forgotten to enter, after spending all that time writing it! XD
    *regains composure and tries to stop thanking you for saving me from forgetting to ENTER the competition :P *
    Also! I'm really glad to you like it! I'll be editing and improving it soon because of my overuse of short sentences and lack of description, so I hope it will be better then :)
    Thanks again <3
    AlexM7
    3 years ago
    1 Like
    Haha, glad I could help. I've been checking through the list of entries every so often, and I noticed yours wasn't there. Figured I should let you know.
    Uniqua Niques
    3 years ago
    hahah thanks, well thank goodness you did :)
  • AlexM7
    3 years agoReply
    Interesting stuff. Nice hook about Gallifrey at the end, and it's quite well written throughout. Nice description of John Hurt's Doctor.

    Some things you might want to consider are doing some research into what's established about Gallifrey in the show already (you might know already, but there's some really fascinating stuff out there) and, if using John Hurt's Doctor, not calling him the Doctor. I know it's difficult, and it is admittedly something of a pet peeve of mine, but there was such a big fuss about him not being the Doctor anymore and not using the name it always feels weird when he's referred to as such. That was a big problem with Engines of War I felt)

    Still, good work, and I'll keep reading it. :)
    The Daughter Of Gallifrey
    The Daughter Of...
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    At night I scream. But these aren't the ordinary screams. These screams are different. They're silent. And they're caused by memories with a man's name. What's his name you ask? The Doctor.
    The Ink-Stained Writer
    Thank you! I'll take what you said under consideration. ;)
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