MaleMember since 7 Feb 12Age 25Last online 5 years ago

I'm 19 years old, studying at university and hoping to be a writer. I write about anything that inspires a sense of writing in me. I prefer writing prose but want to improve my petry before writing serious novels/novellas. Enjoy...

  • Alex .B
    6 years agoReply
    I see what you're trying to do with this poem and I appreciate the moral of it but try not to make it so explicit; in other words, let the reader try and figure out what you mean. Also at times the poem seemed a bit rhyme-driven, so some words just seemed unnecessary- try to think of what you want to say and then rhyme the poem, as a way of avoiding this.
    Having said all that, I do like what you've done here :D
    Being Wise
    Being Wise
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    An interesting poem about a writer which I wrote when I was 12. The middle section isn't great, but I do rather like the moral of the story at the end :)
    Annie.G
    6 years ago
    Thanks, that's great advice and I have taken it in. I think I will have to rewrite it again which is definitely for the best!
  • Alex .B
    6 years agoReply
    I've been reading this over the last few days and I love it! I really felt the story as you were telling it- your ability to convey emotion and feeling is really good!
    First Day In Forever
    First Day In Forev...
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    Amy has always dreamt of being prom queen, but not being part of the popular group hasn’t helped her. Neither has not being able to get a date, when she really wants Lucas, her crush, to ask her. When...
    CiaraNewYork
    6 years ago
    Thanks so much! Like / favourite if you want to? And if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
  • Alex .B
    6 years agoReply
    This is interesting, I like it. The form is similar to that of a ballad; maybe you could try adding rhythm and meter to make it a ballad? It's good the way it is though, don't get me wrong...
    You, Me, Us ...
    You, Me, Us ...
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    An example work with simple rhymes. It is sad that a fair amount of people fail to recognize the power of simplicity.
    Erling Siegfried
    6 years ago
    Thanks :).

    -Erling
  • Alex .B
    6 years agoReply
    I like the mystery of this, there's no guess as to where this is gonna go, which is great! The part where you said 'except the obvious one of course, it would be quite hard to move an index finger when it no longer exists' seems unnecessary, like you've used words you hadn't had to.
    The Morning After
    The Morning After
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    Waking up the morning after a night out.
    Erling Siegfried
    6 years ago
    Thanks ;). The sentence of which you speak produces the kind of effect I am most inclined to use :P. Thanks though ;).

    -Erling
  • Alex .B
    6 years agoReply
    I've made changes to the poem since the first publication. Could people please read and comment on what they think. Thanks :)
    Saxophone Summer
    Saxophone Summer
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    Just an experiment... [Note: to be read with an American accent]
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