FemaleCanadaMember since 7 Dec 13Age 19Last online 3 years ago

artist. guitarist. pianist. i love to write but i'm not sure i can. unconventional. open minded...
[insert what you want me to be like here] <-since i can't please everyone.

"I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone."-MCR

  • ALA$KAAA
    4 years agoReply
    1 Like

    Flawlessly written! Great job! I genuinely enjoyed reading it and I will be waiting for more hopefully..
    Even though my eyes are green, I was able to relate to an extent that it seemed like you were writing about me hahaha. For example, how she admires people, her ‘little sister issues’, how she and her mother talk, how school is for her..Etc..
    The first chapter was really made me unable to turn away and it made me want to continue on reading, though the second chapter gave me an intuition that the story was going to turn out to be conventional and boring.
    BUT.. As I read on, it became more interesting. My personal favorite was 'Tudors and Trouble"; the idea of handing something precious to someone who doesn’t understand its sentimental value seems horrible. I also have a special necklace on my neck and I would never take it off for anybody: P. A further reason why I fell in love with this chapter is because everything was neatly ordered and perfectly described.
    It would be really nice if you added some more detail on how she views the world through her eyes and how she feels about the world just so the readers absorb the character and see right through her.
    Oh and "Ran out of orange foundation' hahaha, I’m going to use that in real life ;) all credit goes to you.
    I must admit you are a good writer, write on! x
    Blue Eyes
    Blue Eyes
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    Lydia just can't stop herself from examining the world around her. She loves watching people get on with their ordinary lives... even if it does mean getting weird looks for this creepy behavior. Lydia...
    ALA$KAAA
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    sorry for the late reply..
    I think that you don't really have to add anything to chapter 2, but if you want to make her relationship with her mother more clear, maybe you could add another chapter. For example, a relative from her mother's side comes to stay or visit and BAAAM a conflict.. or maybe she goes shopping with her mother (that doesn't always turn out good haha)

    have a nice day :)x
    Nina :)
    4 years ago
    Thanks, those are some really good ideas. I'll see whether I can fit them in :)
    ALA$KAAA
    4 years ago
    1 Like
    my pleasure ^_^
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