Letters To Myself

Book cover made by Movellas user Lily Anna!

*Completed standalone YA novel approx 57,000 words*

Winner of Nanowrimo 2017!

Seventeen year old Morwenna is struggling as a student in her school's sixth form. On top of that, she has to deal with a creepy house nearby with mysterious visions, her Mum expecting a baby and exploring privately her sexuality and identity. When things get rough at home, she decides to leave and start afresh but at what cost? Written in a mixture of diary entries/letters, poetry and prose, Letter To Myself tracks the life of a young girl over the course of a single year.

Only edited for spelling and grammar mistakes, plotline has not been edited. Suggested readership is 15+.

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37. 37.

Dear Myself,
Who would have thought that my love of tea could finally be shared in front of other people rather than just in front of Michelle? One morning a few days back, I was just casually scrolling through my Twitter feed and out popped a notification from a user I follow talking about a new tea store that had opened in the city, not too far away from the College. OK, the prices aren't cheap but the choice of flavours on offer really appealed to me. One day, I could have a hot fruit tea, the next a cold fruit tea or something herbal. The amount was endless. Knowing that would be somewhere I would enjoy visiting, I added the tea store to a new list of places to visit during long lunch breaks. That way, I wouldn't be late back for classes.

Dragging Michelle past hordes of busy shoppers, tapping away on their phones and not looking where they were going on the pavement, we somehow finally found the tea store looking pretty, doors wide open and an assistant carrying a jug of freshly brewed fruit tea for customers to sample. The smell of herbs and fruit hit our noses as we walked in and saw the long shelves of tea boxes for sale. All with cool names and how long to brew it for. With a smile, I sampled a few teas on the viewing table and quietly noted which ones that appealed to me the most. Noticing that this tea store did take away teas in any style, my mouth watered with excitement. The City College wouldn't mind us walking in with food or drink from a place that wasn't on the campus.

Casually tweeting away about how much I was loving the tasting, Leia texted me saying she was not having a fun time waiting for her Dad to show up. I haven't physically seen her for a while, both times we've tried to meet, something always comes up meaning we result in texting each other. She's never met Michelle despite my persuasions for them both to meet. Anyway, back to the tea! For Christmas or birthday presents, this seemed like the perfect place that didn't involve department stores or high-end fashion stores with very expensive prices. After a lot of thinking, I ordered a takeaway tea that was hot peach and was super refreshing to sip on as long as I was careful not to dribble down my shirt and leave a wet patch for everyone to see.

My girl ordered a normal tea in the end, fruit wasn't on her radar that time of the day but she seemed satisfied with her selection. Carrying our plastic cups out and almost wanting to hold hands but we didn't sadly due to fear of others seeing us, we headed back towards College and the final lesson of the day. Somehow, my gut instinct was kicking in and sending messages to my mind that something exciting was going to happen to both myself and her when we got back. Sure enough, it was right. But that wasn't until we dodged some shoppers once again getting distracted at the wrong time and trying to trip us up onto the pavement, how painful.

On sitting down at the table, Tammy told us both in a very excited tone of voice that we had placements to start next week! I couldn't help but release an excited scream and fist-punch the air with joy. Michelle jokingly covered her ears and warned me not to start a headache on her. For once though, I couldn't care less. I had a job! With children! Finally, everything was starting to take shape. It was also a lovely surprise that we got the same nursery with the same times, fate I feel don't you?

Some uniform arrived to try on, the trousers were slightly too long but my polo shirt covered me well and looked smart with my tied-back hair and nose stud (fake obviously). She was having the opposite problem with the shirt, cut too short which was a shame since it was obviously too uncomfortable for her. When you start a job that requires uniform, you need to be honest and speak-up if something doesn't fit or feel comfortable. It was useful to identify these little issues now. After changing back to normal clothes, I took a deep breath and texted Mum to let her know things were OK, that I had a paid work placement and I was eating three meals a day. She never replied. Do I care? Maybe I do a little but me leaving resulted in loss of communication. I just had to go, you saw that.

We had a sneaky little drink back at the house, Michelle’s Dad kept some cans of berry cider hidden out of sight of visitors but both of us had a few slurps before concluding that alcohol is something we don't really feel comfortable with. That's one thing I worried about when looking at all of those Universities many months back, that all students did was write essays and drink booze. Not the case, at one Uni I looked at, there was a society for students that didn't drink and events such as bowling and shopping trips to nearby cities. Writing some poetry helped to drift me off to sleep, so much so that I woke up with pen marks all over my cheek!

Promise
Toast to the events
Of tomorrow
Where we forget
The hurt and sorrow
Of the haunting
That ripped my soul apart
Keep this promise for me
Not share with others
If I don't give this new chapter a go
Pressure me to know
I'm a baby
Wuss
Hard to me to keep
The perfect family
Close
But let them know
Moving on was right
Sleep better at night
Promise

My next entry will definitely be filled with news from the nursery and how the first week goes, the kids who attend there look adorable and working with them is going to be enjoyable. See you next week!

Yours,
Morwenna.

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