I Only Want You (18+)

(CENSORED)
[sequel to head over heels]
Adrian has left her previous relationship with Justin after she finds out that another girl is the mother of his child. After walking out on him at the wedding, months later Justin decides he wants to rekindle their relationship to give it another try.

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19. Thank You.

I looked at myself in the mirror as I’m tying my tie. Usually, Adrian would help me with it because how horrible I was at it. It’s a good thing I learned a couple things from her as she did it for me.

 

“You look handsome, are you prepared to see me one last time,” She asks.

 

“No. I wish I had the strength to get through this.”

 

“You do. I can’t wait to hear your speech, lets me know what you really have to say about me. You can do this, it’s okay to scream, cry, or whatever long as you’re there.” She says. I grabbed my keys and met up with Kathy.

 

“Good morning, you ready,” She asks.

 

“Kathy, are you fucking drunk,” I asked.

 

“No. I’m high, I can’t go through this sober. You told me to stop drinking so, I’m working on that. Everyone is inside already, worried you wouldn’t come. You’re up first, you nervous?”

 

“A little. I’ll manage, come on” I said. As we went inside, I was up first to speak. I made my way to the podium, staring out into the audience before speaking.

 

“Good morning. First, I would like to appreciate each and every one of you for showing up this fine morning, and also being honored to give a eulogy about this amazing girl that has left us so young. I know we weren’t all thinking about waking up and being here at a funeral, but here we are. I met Adrian in English class, and let me tell you she wasn’t a fan of mine. She was so grouchy that morning, maybe it’s because of my wreck-less driving that almost killed her and her dad” I said, they all started to laugh. “She was a smart girl, always helped me with my English homework, I was pretty bad at it. But, maybe I faked it to be closer to her. I knew that one day she would change my life, I fell in love with her, and boy was I in trouble. I knew once I fell in love, I told myself this is the girl. I would marry her, keep other guys from hurting her, protect her, love her forever. Sadly I only did a couple of those things.

We’ve had our ups and downs throughout the years, lost a baby, etcetera, etcetera. But I never gave up on her, I couldn’t give up on her. She made me want to get up in the mornings full of excitement, made me feel alive like I could conquer anything in the world. Adrian was the kind of girl that you pillow talk with for hours because she was such an amazing listener. She taught me that loving someone can be easy, that love..it hurts. But from it hurting so much, you want it over and over again. That not every story has a happy ending or end in happily ever after, it was hard to believe it but she was right. I don’t only want to speak highly of her, she can be difficult and stubborn but it’s the little things that make her so special. We remember those good times we have with that particular someone when they’re dead and gone, my advice is to cherish every moment we have with someone every day because you never know what happens next. Thank you.” I said, since the funeral was short and simple it ended faster than I expected. Kristie, Dan, Kathy and I shook hands that all came to show their respect.

 

“Thank you, Justin, for doing that. You’ve done what others couldn’t do.”

 

“I stayed up all night preparing for it. I was nervous.”

 

“No need to be nervous about it, you wrote from your heart. I appreciate everything. If you ever need anything, just call me, even if you’re in trouble.”

 

“Thanks, Dan, so what’s next for you,” I asked.

 

“Travel. I’ve retired from being a lawyer, so I’m spending every moment with Kristie, you’re right. We shouldn’t only remember those moments we have with someone once they’re gone. I love how dedicated you were to her, loved going back to her no matter the circumstance.

You really loved her, I see you’re wearing your wedding band. Were you going to propose.”

 

“I thought about it, I wanted us to take things slow. Maybe that’s what messed everything up between us.” I never thought I could relive a tragedy like this again. We went out to the cemetery, it was hard for me to see so I found a bench to sit as it poured down raining.

 

“Why are you sitting in the rain,” Kathy asks.

 

“No reason, couldn’t see them put her in the ground. I rather get soaking wet and get high.” I said, she sighs and sits next to me, covering the umbrella under the both of us. “You know when the funeral is over, you start to think they’re actually gone.”

 

“Yeah, that eulogy was beautiful Justin. You were so fearless, she would’ve loved it. It feels different now, I know I told you to get over Adriana and I shouldn’t have said that now that I know what you’re going through I understand why you couldn’t let her go. Remember when you tried to make Adrian jealous by talking to me.” She says I chuckled.

 

“Yeah, didn’t work though. She swore up and down I was crazy, I’m not. Once I fall in love, I fall hard. I got her these flowers, I don’t think I can go over there.”

 

“You can, I know you can go over there.” She says I laid my head on her shoulder as tears strolled down my face.

“Want me to come with you” She added, I nod my head lifting it off her shoulder. We walked to her tombstone, I dropped the flowers on top of the casket.

 

“What’s next,” I asked. Kathy and I ended in front of a rehabilitation center. Of course, I had second thoughts about it. We walked in approaching a group sitting in a circle in the middle of the room. “Are you sure about this,” I asked.

 

“Yes, they know we were coming. And that you’re going to talk. Come on, let’s sit” She says taking a seat. I sighed taking a seat next to her.

 

“Hi. I’m Justin Bieber, and I’m a drug addict. You could say I’ve been five months sober but I got high not too long ago. Honestly, I always thought going to rehab was bullshit but, my girlfriend always wanted me to talk to someone about my addiction. Um. I don’t know where to start.”

 

“How about the first time you’ve started using drugs.” The instructor says.

 

“I’ve been using drugs for quite some time now. I guess every since senior year. Either it was a line of coke, marijuana, popping pills or drinking. It didn’t get worse until my mom came into the picture, we never saw eye to eye. She would tell me I was a mistake or other horrible shit she’s said or done. It’s actually a long story, but I guess I can go ahead and tell it. I met this girl during my senior year of high school. I fell in love with her, we loved each other, did everything for each other, but the only thing was she didn’t want to be with me. She just wanted to be friends with benefits, I wanted something real but whatever she wanted l just went along with it and agreed to be friends with benefits. Long story short she ended up pregnant, she didn’t want the baby but I did. I didn’t believe in abortion, I didn’t want her to do it. I felt like I ruined her life, after convincing her to keep it, she decided to keep her. Everything was going great, it felt as if we were together, she would spend the night at my place, she was comfortable there. Still, we weren’t together. We lost the baby, she got pushed down the stairs and the baby didn’t make it. That’s mostly why I started drinking. Also, she was in an abusive relationship, got arrested for assault and battery for defending her which is still fucked up to me. We’ve dated a couple times throughout the years, the first time I let her go because I was going away for a tour and she was headed to college, I didn’t want to stop her from doing something with herself. The second time, I found out I had a baby by another girl, it was never mine so I had to call off the wedding. She’s mainly the reason why I used drugs, not saying it’s her fault but I just wanted her. I was craving a drink, craving to get high, but the only thing I was craving was her. I had to bury her today and I was desperately wanting to get high and I did. Does it make me feel better? No. I can see her, sometimes I even talk to her. She would either stand there and smile or admire me. Still doesn’t feel real. You may think we’re some kind of fucked up romance novel but, before she passed she wanted to be with me. After months of confusion, we would be together again. I love her, always have. Always will.” I felt a little better expressing myself to a bunch of strangers that never knew my story, even having Kathy there by my side. We went to her place to pack up her things to take them over to my house.

 

“You really want to take all this stuff to your place? I mean the girl was a hoarder” She says.

 

“I can’t just leave everything here, you can take some things too if you want. Sure she wouldn’t care.”

 

“I’m good. I think you enjoyed talking in rehab”

 

“Hey, don’t get excited. I did it for you”

 

“You did not. You did it for yourself, admit it you like rehab”

 

“I may like it, and I may go back. Better than talking to shrinks, they ask a lot of fucking questions. Jotting things down on their little clipboard as if they’re listening, knowing they don’t give a shit. Bunch of frauds” I said, she laughs.

 

“You’re crazy; same ole Justin. Some things will never change.”

 

“Hey Justin, could I talk to you,” Rhett asked.

 

“Yeah, sure”

 

“I’ll be downstairs,” Kathy says leaving the room. Rhett sits on the bed looking around the bedroom as I’m continuing to pack her things.

 

“How come you two broke up the first time,” He asked.

 

“I wanted her to go to college, plus I was going away for a tour so I didn’t want to be in her way.”

 

“You know you were a supportive boyfriend right? Anything she wanted to do you supported her even if it was hard leaving each other. I know you love her, more than any other guy. She loved you. I flew in wanting to go over the divorce papers cause she texted me early that morning and told me she wanted to be with you. Cops called me first and I quickly went out there where she was. I glanced at her and she took her last breath then something started coming from her mouth, not sure what it was. Seeing her take her last breath is stuck in my head, I can’t sleep at night. I’m taking pills to either stay up or pills to fall asleep...I’m sorry” He says starting to cry. I took a deep breath and sit beside him on the bed.

 

“Stop crying, stop being sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. We’re going to be okay,”

 

“You think so, do you really believe that”

 

“Yeah, I do. She’s with her mom, Adrian’s had a hard life and I was going to make it better. She doesn’t hate you, I don’t even hate you, she had a right to move on. It gets easier every day I promise.”

 

“You’re right. I should be so dramatic, you’re the one that meant something to her”

 

“We all meant something to her, including you. It may not seem that way but you did.” I said. He smiles and gets up.

 

“I took some time off work for a couple weeks, just to give me time to grieve. I suggest doing the same.”

 

“I wish I could. Working on a single with a few artists, but don’t worry I’ll take off if I need it.” I said.

 

“Okay, so what’s going to happen next,” He asks, I shrug my shoulders.

 

“I guess keep going. I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“Alright, take care,” He says leaving. I started back to packing knowing it would take hours. I eventually was smart enough to get Drew to help out also. I looked around the empty house before switching the lights off. This is the end.

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